Story Of Us
by 1Kimmy101
Summary: Jade bangs on the door of his RV at a quarter past 3. She's being her usual bitter self, but is there more to it? My first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh.It has nothing to do with Taylor Swift's song, just liked the name. RnR please! tnx!
1. Key to my Heart

**A/N: Hi! So thanks for giving this story a chance:) please enjoy:**

Disclaimer: Victorious is not mine

Chapter 1: Key to my Heart

Beck POV:

I wake up to a crashing sound on the wall of the RV. I sat up immediately knowing it's Jade trying once again to break down the door. I stumble out of bed and look at the clock, squinting at the bright neon numbers that show it's a quarter past 3. I groan before reaching for the door. It was Jade, arms raised just about to hit the door again with her monkey fur purse.

"Finally! I was starting to think you'd died," her loud voice pierces through the solemn darkness, as she let's down her hand. I stare for a while as she storms in, throwing her purse on the ground before promptly collapsing on my bed.

"Jade, it's a quarter past 3."

"So?" she exclaims. Classic Jade. I sigh, before settling down next to her.

"You know," I start, running a hand through my hair, "The reason I gave you the key was so you didn't have to wake me up, or cause me to replace the door." I glance at the door, wincing when I spot another dent in the metal.

"So you're saying that I should reach into my bag, find that tiny key, and take the effort to open the door, while you could just turn the handle from the inside," she retorts. I roll my eyes.

"What about you? Why the late visit? Missed me too much?" I tease, suddenly more awake. She punches my arm.

"Owww!" I scrounge my eyes in mock pain.

"Shut up, that didn't even hurt," she growls. I chuckle.

"Have you ever thought about going for anger management?" I grin

"Now you're just asking for it," Jade threatens, turning over before squashing a pillow into my face.

I flip over, smirking as I throwing the pillow to the side to tickle her. She screams and laughs, trying to wiggle out of my reach.

"Escaping is fruitless!" I tell her holding her tightly to myself, my fingers mercilessly poking her sides.

"Be..Beck! Stop!... Stop it!" she cries out between gasps of laughter. She pushes and shoves desperately trying to get away and in the process, nearly falls off the bed.

"Whoa, Jade don't scare me like that," I said, tightening my arms around her around her waist, pulling her up from several inches off the floor. We lie there a while, a little out of breath. Finally she pushes me off and we find each other face to face. Her hair falls over her face and I brush it away silently. We're both still panting a bit. Grinning, I lean in to kiss her, and she returns it with the same passion. We stop, gasping for air, and then I spot a dark bruise on her shoulder that looks fresh.

I freeze abruptly, pulling away and she glares, about to scold me when she sees my worried expression. Confused, she follows my gaze to her back. Her eyes widen in shame and she hastily pulls her cardigan around her tighter, but I grab her wrists.

"Jade!"

It all made sense now, why she wasn't here at the usual time, 6. Why she hadn't answered my calls earlier today. It was all her father's doing.

"What?" she answers, her voice sharp as a sword. She glares at me hard and I stare back, pleading with my eyes. Both of us were for silent for a while.

"Let's just go to sleep," she whispers, turning back to the wall. But I can't, because she's hurt, not just on the outside and I know that. How could I just let it go?

"Jade?" I ask gently. I feel her stiffen next to me for a moment, before relaxing when I kiss her hair.

"Hmm?" she tries answering casually, but we both know the hidden truth.

"Was it your dad again?" I keep my voice soft. I know this was a touchy subject for her.

There was silence. I sat up, so I could see her face. She just looked away.

"Jade," I know she can hear the concern in my voice.

Slowly, she raises her head facing me, and I can see another vague purple bruise on her jaw, as well as another around her right arm. Her eyes stared straight into mine, blue and beautiful. Strong, yet delicate and frail. But it held no secrets and I relish that. That she trusts me enough; that I had finally broke through her walls she kept up. I knew her sarcasm and attitude was just her default setting. I knew the other side of Jade. I knew why she acted the way she did, I knew that it was more than just her impatient personality. More importantly, I knew that she needed me and I'd always be here for her.

I reach down and kiss the bruises I know is a result of her father's violence and alcohol/drug addiction. Then I lie down again, she snuggles up to me, her head tucks into the crook of my neck. She closes her eyes and I stroke her hair.

"Beck?" she asks suddenly, looking up so she could see me.

"Hmm?" I responded.

"I lost your key," she said softly. I hold back a laugh and smirk, pulling her closer. I know her well enough to be pretty sure she's scowling.

"It's okay babe, I'll always be here to open the door," and although it's dark, I know we're both smiling.

**A/N: so that was that:) the story and the writing definitely, definitely gets better, ask my reviewers. speaking of which, REVIEW PLEASE! and thank you. **


	2. Coffee Anyone?

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious.**

**A/N: Just wanted to say thanks sooooo much for the reviews! I have 3! Which may not sound like a lot, but it is. I love u guys! If you read this, PLEASE review! Even if it's like 1 word, it'll be VERY appreciated. **

Chapter 2: Coffee Anyone?

Jade's POV:

I grumble, the blaring alarm clock waking me up. I'm immediately pissed, irritated at the measly machine that woke me up. I open my eyes a little, scanning the room. My eyes find spot the clock with a knowing gleam, I wrench it apart using a pen that had conveniently been found next to the pitiful victim. Sighing contentedly, I droop back down on the pillow, pulling the covers higher, to hide from the sun. Only to be woken up again, this time by my gorgeous boyfriend.

"Well thanks Jade, that was my 2nd alarm clock that you broke in 3 days." says Beck, surveying the wreckage of wires and plastic.

"Mmmhnnngg" I mumble incoherently into the pillow..

By now, Beck was already changed and ready for school.

"Jade, it's time to get up now" he says, gentle shaking me. I slap his hand away. "Mmmhnnngg!" I mumble again.

"You know that you're not making any sense right?" he asks me. I can just imagine him, his right eyebrow raised, his expression exasperated and his brown eyes filled with love. I open my eyes and sure enough, that's what I see.

"Beck?" I ask as I stretch out on his bed.

"Yes?" he answers. His face was unbearably close now, and he leaned in for a deep kiss, and as much as I wanted to continue, I pull away. Beck pouts. I giggle, I doubt anyone at Hollywood Arts has ever seen this side of Beck, let alone see him pout. His adorable-ness was only mine to see.

"Beck!" I say again.

"Yes?"

"Where's my coffee?"

He smiles, "Right there," he says pointing at the table at the far right. I sigh then pull off the blankets and got up. I walk to the table, my coffee inches from my fingertips when it is suddenly whipped away. Into Beck's hands.

"Beck," I warn raising my eyebrow. He smirks lifting the white styrofoam cup into the air, toying with it.

"You want this?" he taunts.

"Give it to me." I yell stalking over to him, but he lifts it up high over his head, where I can't reach it.

"BECK!" I yell, " Give. It. To. Me" I say enunciating each word, "NOW!" I scream hitting his chest. But Beck knows I hardly have any energy before drinking my coffee. Soon enough, I'm tired and fall to the floor, coffee deprived.

"Beck, when I get my coffee, I swear, you'll wish you'd never woken me up," I threaten. Beck just sits down next to me, and to my surprise, takes a sip of the coffee. My jaw drops.

"Beck," I seethe, and I glare so hard I see him visibly draw back.

"JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN COFFEE!" I scream and I pounce on him.

He leaps back and no matter how far I reach or jump, my deprived body just can't do it.

"Oh my god! Beck! Just give me the coffee!" I pant, exhausted.

"What's the magic word?" he teases.

"Please?" I'm practically begging now.

He passes me the coffee, and I gulp it all down greedily. I've never drank coffee as good as the one Beck makes. I don't know how he does it, but it seems to get better every time. I've never told him this obviously, nothing worse than a guy with an inflated ego.

"You never fail to impress me on how much you'd do for coffee." he says, smiling. I look up from the cup to glare at him. He smirks and puts an arm around my shoulders pulling me toward him. I shake him off, still pissed, but his warm eyes stop me in my tracks. I've always felt such trust in those eyes. They'd never let me down.

Yesterday had been a pretty bad day. He'd stomped back home after a non-profitable day. The cursing began after just a few swigs from the bottle, I was a good for nothing piece of shit in his eyes. I didn't mind that much though, it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. He went on, complaining on how all his money was all being wasted on me and that stupid art school of mine. I knew it wasn't true, I hardly had enough money for lunch, and he didn't pay the bills, I was there on scholarship. Besides that, my father was the CEO of a huge company. He had enough money to cover for 7 children's worth of school fees easily, but no, most of his salary was spent on expensive liquor and drugs.

I had known him long enough to figure out the best option now, to flee. It was nearly 6 anyway, might as well get to Beck's early.

I grabbed my purse and strode to the door when I heard him.

"Where do you think you're going? Hmmm? My little Jadey." I froze from fear, that tone, I could have picked it out in a crowd of millions. It is a voice that haunts me.

I immediately turned the knob, I just need to get out if here. Big mistake. He grabbed me roughly and slammed me against the wall. I tried to run, as I always do, screaming, kicking and shoving, but it always went his way. This time it was the phone that saved me. His office had called, something about missing files. He was furious, kicking me hard on my back. I was shaking, crying silent tears. He'd said he was going to the office, that when he came back he didn't want to see me. Then finally, he spat on me and walked away.

It hurt, it wasn't the first time, I mean you'd expect me to be used to it by now, but the tears streaming down my face contradicted to that thought. When I was younger, I used to think my father was the strongest man in the world. I went around my kindergarten, telling everyone about how my dad kicked ass, while the teacher scolded me, wondering where I'd learned such vulgarities. Now I realized I had been right all along. And it wasn't just anyone's ass he kicked, it was mine.

By the time he was done with me, it was already past 11, I stumbled up the stairs and took a quick shower. Then I basically smothered concealer and foundation on every patch of red I saw. There was a cut on my leg where he'd pushed me onto the corner of the table. I quickly plastered that up as well. I lined my eyes with black and comb my hair.

Once i was done, I grabbed my purse and left, running for my car. I drove down the driveway, turning into the road. I went down the route I knew like the back of my hand. The route that would take me to Beck's. I was nearing his neighborhood when I caught sight of myself in the rear view mirror.

I was a mess. My eyes were red from all the crying and my face was so pale the patches of concealer stood out like a sore thumb. I had applied it all over my face, but my tears seemed to have wiped some away. I parked at the side of the road and reached into my purse to fish the beige powder out, but my fingers shook so much that the whole compact fell somewhere under the seat. I swore, scolding myself for being so weak. I tried taking deep breaths, unable to control my lungs.

I needed him. I needed Beck.

Swearing again, I left the car, slamming the door. Still breathing heavily, I made my way over to his RV. I wondered what he would say when he saw me. I wanted him to hold me tight and wipe away my tears. I wanted him to tell me it was all going to be okay and that he'd always love me. Forever and ever.

I was in sight of the house when Beck suddenly opened the door, but it wasn't to let me in, he was letting his father out. He said something to him, and he laughed out loud. His smile made my heart melt. Then suddenly, I turned around walking back the way I came. I couldn't see him now, he didn't deserve to see me this way. I would ruin everything. I picked up my pace and started a run. I didn't want anyone to see me. Especially Beck.

I knew there was a deserted playground around this area, so I headed there. I sat on the swings, trembling as I sobbed. My phone buzzed a couple of times and i knew it was Beck. But I couldn't trust myself to speak without having my voice break halfway, however good an actress i was. I just sat there, swinging. Swinging and trying to let go of everything.

Finally I left. I was pretty sure the makeup had probably faded, but it was so dark, I doubted anyone could see me at all.

I reached his RV and knocked softly.

"Beck?" I asked. No one replied.

Who was I kidding? It was probably past 3 anyway. I sighed and began to hit the door with my purse. For a while nothing happened, I raised my arm to hit the door once again when Beck suddenly opened it.

"Finally! What took you so long? I was starting to think you'd died," I say and I can tell he's annoyed by my late visit. I plomped down on his bed, perfectly contented just being surrounded by his scent. We began to argue about the door and the key. I barely paid attention to what we're saying, talking back was one of my specialties after all.

He started to tickle me, and I begged him to stop. He didn't, of course. I could feel my mood getting better by the second, and it hadn't even been 2 minutes. When he started kissing me, I kissed him back, just as passionately, if not more. My whole body was screaming from the joy of his touch. He was all I could ever ask for. I would be happy all my life if I could just be with him. But happy endings like that are rare, and sure enough, he soon pulls away from me. Following his gaze, I knew that he saw something. I had told him everything about a year ago, when he'd first spotted one of my many bruises. When he'd first heard, he wanted to do something, get social service or call the police. It had taken a lot of persuasion and strength just to keep him from murdering my father himself. I didn't want everyone to know. I didn't want _anyone_ to know.

Beck calmed down after a while, besides I was usually able to run out before anything happened so episodes like these weren't common.

"Jade," he says, and the concern and anguish in his voice is just overwhelming. So I looked at him.

He's looked at me too, and I knew he was finding the places he'd hit me.

He kissed them before asking: "Does it hurt?" his voice was so soft, I couldn't help but smile. Not anymore, I thought to myself as I shook my head. All felt now was the warmth from his lips.

Then he lied down and I snuggled closer, he stroked my hair gently.

"Beck?" I asked, suddenly remembering something.

"Hmmm?" he responded.

"I lost your key," I said sheepishly, and I could tell he was trying not to laugh. I scowled.

"Don't worry babe," he told me, "I'll always be here to open the door." he said and we both smile.

Beck was shocked when I didn't retaliate, "Jade?" his voice pulled me back to the present.

"Don't get used to this," I smirked before leaning in for a kiss. I could tell he was still a bit confused but when I deepened the kiss, he played along, the coffee long forgotten...(:

**So? So? Sooo? Please review! Thanks! Luv ya!  
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	3. Masquerade

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, cuz if I did, Jade and Cat would be singing ALL the time **

**A/N: Thanks soooo much to the 10 people who reviewed my story! I love you all! You're all incredibly awesome people. Ok, just so it's out there, I'm not a huge fan of Tori, but I do like Victoria Justice. If that makes sense... So if Tori seems a bit OOC in this chapter, I hope it doesn't offend you. Please please please x100 review! I love reading your comments. Thanks! And here's chapter 3:**

Chapter 3: Masquerade

Beck's POV:

Because of the whole coffee issue, Jade and I were veeeerry late for school. we'd missed the first 2 periods and it was now break.

I walk to my locker, my arm around Jade, who was sipping yet another cup of coffee, which she'd demanded for before we left. Though I know she'll never admit it, Jade loves my coffee. She thinks it's the best coffee in the world. She thinks I don't know though, and I doubt she'll ever admit it.

Andre finds us around the lockers.

"Hey man, what's up?" I ask him.

"Where were you this morning man? You missed Sikowitz! You should have been there, Sikowitz made Tori act as a monkey with really _really _bad rashes, it was hilarious!" he exclaims. Jade scoffs, obviously unimpressed. Finishing her coffee, she opens her own locker, (which is conveniently close to mine), and grabs a few books before walking off.

"Where're you going Jade?" I ask, taking hold of her arm before she leaves.

"Class," she replies monotonously, obviously not in the mood for chit chat.

"See you later then," I say, pulling her in for a quick kiss before letting her go. I turn back to Andre who tells me about what happened in class. They'd done the usual, improv and method acting. Seems like we hadn't missed much, besides Tori as a monkey, which from Andre's point of view, was very interesting indeed.

Speaking of Tori, here she was. Seems like everyone from the 'gang' had arrived, except Jade, who as usual was only missed by me.

"So why were you late mister?" asks Tori, perky as usual.

"Yeah," asks everyone else.

"Where's Jade?" asks Cat all of a sudden. Okay, so missed by Cat too.

"She went for her next class," I replied.

"Oh, my brother started cooking class. Which was really fun, but he started a fire in the kitchen. But he's better now," she says happily.

"Wow, you sure spend a lot of time together," says Tori jokingly ignoring Cat. She speaks as if me spending time with Jade was hard to believe.

"Yeah, Jade always stays over at Beck's house!" exclaims Cat interrupting again. Tori looks stunned for a second, before laughing a bit, "So Jade slept over at your house yesterday?" she asks, trying to keep her voice light and lilting, though her voice seemed slightly disappointed from the mentioning of my girlfriend.

I was never quite sure with Tori. Sometimes she seems completely normal, perky, a great singer and actress. Other times, I see it from Jade's view, and I wonder whether Tori likes me.

I don't really pay much attention to it though. Unlike what Jade thinks, I'll never leave her. I can't even imagine a day without having Jade around.

"Yeah, she slept over at my place yesterday," I reply.

"So why were you late?" asks Robbie.

"We were... Drinking coffee," I say evasively.

"Drinking coffee? You can do that in school!" exclaims Andre.

"We lost track of time," I say vaguely. "Hey have you heard about the new pear pad2" I ask changing the subject. It works. Robbie starts explaining the different aspects of the pear pad2 and how it compares to the pear pad1. We are all forced to listen to geek talk for a while, with really sophisticated words being thrown out every few seconds. None of us are really listening

The bell rings, saving us from the horrors of technology.

"See ya!" I call out. None of us had the same schedule today, besides Sikowitz. I would have to wait until lunch to see them again.

* * *

><p>Jade was already at the table when I arrived. She was sitting down, her head on her table, resting. I know that she's tired. Although she drank 2 cups of coffee already, she's had a long night.<p>

"Hey Babe, why aren't you eating?" I ask before slipping down in the seat next to her.

"I'm not hungry, get me some coffee," she says in her usual bitter tone. I sigh before getting up and in the process nearly walk right into Tori.

"Oops, watch out Beck!" she says with a smile, receiving a glare from my lovely girlfriend.

"Shut your mouth Vega," she retorts, but before she can continue I interrupt, "Sorry Tori, I was getting some coffee for Jade," I say emphasizing on her name. She scowls, but quiets down.

I quickly buy a large cup of espresso, and sit back down next to Jade.

Everyone's here now, and we spend lunch together. Cat was talking about her brother again. Robbie wanted to continue the discussion over the pearpad2, Rex was humiliating him, no surprises there... and Tori and Andre were telling everyone about another song they were writing. Everything seemed fine. Jade butted in a few snarky comments of her own, but that wasn't shocking either.

Untill...

"Hey, what happened to your face?"asks Tori, staring at Jade. We're both shocked for a few seconds, and I realize Jade's concealer over her jaw has smudged a little... Probably the result of the short make out section this morning. Jade obviously realizes the same, her hand snaking up to cover her bruise instinctively.

"Yeah, looks like someone took a swing at you," comments Andre leaning in for a closer looks, his hand stretched out, as if going to touch it. Jade slapped his hand away.

"I banged it into a locker," Jade says quickly with practised ease. There is a short pause. "I've got to go, she says suddenly, slinging her bag over her shoulder and scooping up her coffee.

Conversation starts up easily again, although Tori seems suspicious about Jade's reply.

"I'm gonna go find her," I announce, soon after her departure. Funny how it's Jade that finds our conversations boring but when she's gone, I just feel so out of it.

I get up, saying my goodbyes when Tori tells me to stay.

"I'm sure Jade just needs to run an errand," she says smoothly, "And besides, you should take a break from all that attitude," she adds flipping her hair and smiling seductively.

I frown, I'm actually getting pissed at Tori, something that only Jade does. "What attitude?" I ask innocently, raising my eyebrow. I can tell she didn't expect that answer, and unlike my Jade, Tori is obviously tongue tied. I take that chance to leave.

"See ya," I wave to the table as I walk away. They all wave back, even Tori, who, as Jade always says is probably feeling preetty stupid right now. And I, for once, can't say I feel sorry for her.

* * *

><p>Jade's POV<p>

That bitch Vega, she always had to go and ruin everything. I half ran to the bathroom, the one around the back of the school, as it's always deserted, before taking out my concealer and re applying my make-up, meticulously checking my complexion, making sure everything is covered up.

I won't let anyone find out. Especially Tori. I just could not let people know, and if Tori finds out. I know she'll spread the news everywhere. No matter what people may think of her, I can see through her angelic exterior. Tori was like my mum. Everyone thinks she's the perfect mother. Attends every one of my plays. Supports me. Cooks. Member of the PTA. She had the whole 9 yards. But I know better. Because if she was really the mother they say she is, she would have divorced my father ages ago. Where was she when he was beating me up? I know she knows. She's seen my bruises and cuts, and I'm sure she's heard the screaming, and his shouting.

My mother lives in denial. Because she loves my father, a thousand times more than she's ever loved me. She lives behind a mask, just like Tori. Just like me.

Maybe that's why I was attracted to Beck in the first place, besides his good looks and his hair. Beck doesn't live life behind a mask. He's completely himself, unique and different. And when I'm with him, I don't have to wear a mask, I can be myself without any fear or shame. Because he loves me. He loves me for who I am.

That's why I'm so possessive. If I lose him, I'll never be myself again. I refuse to lose him, especially to Vega.

I walk out of the bathroom to see that Beck is waiting for me leaning against the wall outside the bathroom.

"How did you know where i was?" I ask, as he pulls toward his chest, holding me tightly and kissing my forehead.

"I'll always know where you are, and if I don't, I'll still find you," he says smiling. I smile back, the smile reserved just for him.

I close my eyes and lean myself on him, breathing in his scent. He strokes my hair, and immediately I feel at ease. Enveloped in his embrace, Tori's the last thing on my mind.

"I love you," I mumble.

"I know," he says. He pushes me back, so he can look into my eyes. Then he kisses me, long and deep. I never wanted it to end. I doubt it would have anytime soon, if the bell didn't ring just then and there.

We pull away slowly, and he puts an arm around my shoulder as we walk off to History class. Not my favourite subject, but Beck was there, so I didn't care.

**A/N: My brother thinks the ending is kinda cheesy.. I don't know, I think it's really sweet. What do you think? REVIEW PLEASE! **

**Also, I will try to upload at least once or twice a week. ( .HA. not. That's kinda impossible for me, btw this is the me who just wrote chapter 25. SORRY i hate it that it takes so long, but just bear with me, this story means a lot to me)  
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	4. Stains of Red

**A/N: Hey! I'm extremely sorry it took me this long to update. I was on a school expedition, and thus I was out of the country for a week. I just got back today. Woo Hoo! It's good to be home**

**And tnx to all those reviewers who thought my ending for chapter 3 was sweet. You guys made my day! Although my brother got a bit offended, but oh well... I HAVE 15 REVIEWS! YAY! Also, once again: I know some of you victorious fans like Tori. I on the other hand, don't. No offense to anyone, it's just my opinion. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Victorious, and if I did, Cat would have sang: Tell Me That You Love Me, and Jade would have sang: Freak the Freak Out. I think those songs are better suited to them...**

* * *

><p>Beck's POV<p>

After school, Jade came back to my place. She wasn't sure how long it would take for her father to cool down, and I sure as he'll didn't want her anywhere near that god damn demon.

"Could you drive any slower? I have to pee you know," she exclaims, banging her hand on the dashboard of my car. We were in a traffic jam, and the lights were red.

"Yes ma'am." I say, saluting her. I don't need her to be any more pissed than she is, so I don't comment on the fact that it's not my fault the light is red. She just glares.

"You know, you don't need to worry about Tori right?" I add, glancing at her as the lights finally turn green.

"I don't give a shit about that bitch," she says coldly.

I sigh, I know Jade's just being herself. Somehow the traffic has all cleared and we reach the RV in a few minutes.

"Thank god," says Jade, as she runs in for the toilet. Her face looks worried, but it's just for a second and then it's back to normal. I tell myself it was a trick of light, but I feel a bit of unease...

* * *

><p>Jade's POV<p>

I lied to Beck, I didn't really need to pee. I rush into the small toilet, swearing when I remember that there's no lock. It's never been a problem before, since most of the time it's just me and Beck, but if Beck sees this, he'll freak, and I just can't deal with that right now. I lean against the door so it won't open and I take off my jacket. I turn, to look at my back in the mirror.

"Shit," I mutter impulsively.

"Jade, honey, are you okay?" I hear Beck's voice.

"Call me honey, one more time and I'll hit you with a baseball bat," I answer smoothly. I take a deep breath and slowly start to peel of my shirt. I let out a short gasp of pain as it goes over the middle of my back. It's bleeding. It must have been during dance class today, when Alicia accidentally whacked me in the back, her nails unintentionally scratching me. It was already a sore spot, after what my father had put it through, now it was bleeding. And it had stained my shirt. "Dammit," I mutter again.

"I never knew women took that long to pee," says Beck again.

"Shut up," I reply. I pull the toilet paper to clean the wound, wincing as the rough material scrapes my skin. I know I have to plaster it, if not I could get an infection. But Beck won't let me out of his sight until he's sure my dad's cooled down. Sigh, I'd find a way. I pull over my shirt, gently, so it didn't aggravate my wound and put my cardigan on. Then I walk out, facing Beck.

"I didn't hear you flush the toilet," he comments, I roll my eyes.

"I did," I say. Confidence is the key to lying.

"Really," he says sarcastically.

"Really." I say firmly.

"Should I go check?"he asks raising his eyebrow.

"Go ahead!" I say my hands gesturing to the bathroom. Yeah, I didn't flush, but I didn't even pee, so it didn't matter. Beck gives me a look and then peers in the toilet. I sigh, waiting for him to come out so I can say I told you so. Instead, he says, "Jade, what's this?" I turn, freeze and curse myself mentally. He's pointing to the toilet paper in the trash can, stained in red.

"it's paint." I say, before realizing that it was probably the lamest excuse possible.

He knows this of course, "You didn't have art today," and before I can deny that he goes, "I memorized your schedule." I curse mentally, he did memorize my schedule, I know that for a fact because it was me that forced him to.

I rack my brains, "They were re-painting the drama hall,"

"In red?"

"In red Beck," I say, crossing my arms.

"Jade, that's a bad excuse, and we both know it,"

I raise my arms into he air, "Fine!" I exclaim, "I got my period, okay?"

"No you didn't, you got it last week, and then you nearly pushed Tori off the stairs. Remember?"

Damn. I was hoping he'd forgotten. I was out of excuses, there are only so many things that can leave a red stain.

"Jade," he says my name and his voice is pained because he's probably figured out what that red was.

"Don't be mad," I say eventually. He walks over and pulls me to his chest. His arm is hurting me, but I still don't want him to let go.

"How could I be mad at you for this?" he whispers.

I take a deep breath, "Don't be mad at him," I say and I can feel him stiffen.

"Show me," he says pulling away, I comply after a pause, stripping to my bra.

His eyes are cold, so I quickly add, "It hardly hurts, really!" and I smile my special smile, reserved just for him. He kisses me gently.

"Stop lying Jade," he says simply, pulling away.

"I'm sorry Beck," I say softly.

"Stop apologizing!" he yells suddenly. I flinch and instantly I can see regret in his eyes.

"Can't you see I'm not mad at you?" he grabs my shoulders forcing me to face him and when I still don't look at him, he lifts my chin up with his finger. I stare into his brown eyes, usually warm, but now cold and filled with pain.

"I'm mad at myself, I'm infuriated!" he says, "I should have done something about this a long time ago," the anguish in his expression is overwhelming. I put a hand to his cheek and he leans in instinctively.

"It's not your fault, Never blame yourself." I say firmly. I can't let him kill himself over me.

"I'll get you some bandages," he says and he leaves the RV. I sit on the bed, closing my eyes, I refuse to cry. I refuse cry, because if Beck saw me crying, he'd hurt even more.

* * *

><p>Beck's POV<p>

I can't believe myself, how could I have been foolish enough to leave the matter unattended for such a long time. I always thought Jade was strong, but she's not as strong as she looks. I of all people should have realized that! I'm such a sorry excuse for a-

"Excuse me, are you going to buy that?" the saleslady asks. I realize I was still clutching the bandages I was supposed to buy for Jade.

"Yeah, sorry," I say, looking up, "Here," I say passing her a 10 dollar note. She gives me the change and I take the bandages.

I walk out of the store, almost bumping into Tori again.

"This is becoming quite a habit," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm kinda in a rush, so," I start to walk back to my car. Tori calls me back again. I sigh exasperated.

"Beck, are you okay?" she asks her eyes fill with concern, "You look worried about something," she says. _You have no idea_... I think to myself.

"Yeah, it's Jade, listen I really gotta-"

"Pshh, it's just Jade," she interrupts, "What did she do now? Throw a book at you because you were talking to me?"

"That's not it, I-"

"C'mon Beck, I mean, you've got to be sick of her screaming all the time right? We both know you deserves better,"

Suddenly I'm pissed at her ignorance, I feel like slapping her. I feel like screaming in her face. I deserve better? SHE deserves better. After all she's been through, Tori, of all people tells me I deserve better. Tori, who doesn't know the first thing about real pain.

"You don't know anything about Jade, Vega." I say coldly, before walking away.

Maybe I had gone too far by calling her Vega. But right now, I had more important things to deal with. Jade was waiting for me, and knowing her, she was probably crying too.

* * *

><p>Tori's POV:<p>

I cannot believe Beck called me that. That crushed me. And what's more, he's going back, for Jade. What's wrong with me? How could I lose to Jade, of all people. I mean seriously? They are probably the worst matched couple in history. Jade deserved nothing better than a lowlife freak case, someone just like her. She was intolerable. I would think that Beck would have fallen for me by now. No, instead, he left me, insulted me, when I was trying to HELP him realize how much more he could get. Crazy jerk... What's worse, as I watch him walk to his car, I still want him. Now more than ever.

Something's up with Jade... First I'm sure I saw a bruise on Jade's jaw. And what did Beck buy just now? Was it, possibly, bandages? For who? He was in a rush for Jade. Was Jade hurt? Why so secretive, Jade ran from the table the moment she mentioned her bruise. A normal Jade would have bit back instead of run...

Watch out Jade, I'll find out your secret, and somehow, someday, I'm gonna get Beck...

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><p><strong>AN: Honestly, i don't really know how Tori's gonna find out.. but i'll think of something... somehow... **

**Anyways: REVIEW PLEASE! i love reading them even if it's just 1 word like: fabulous or disgusting. Though of course I'd prefer constructive criticism or compliments:)**


	5. The Final Blow

**A/N: hey, Kimmy here:) so, i wanted to upload yesterday, but i couldnt sign in for some reason... but anyways, yesterday was my best friend Elizabeth's birthday! So i wanted to upload this chapter as a tribute-ish for her birthday. Also i've figured out how Tori will find out, but unfortunetly, it won't happen until chapter 7 or 8... So keep reading, and REVIEW! thank you to ALL my reviewers, you guys r very awesome:D**

**And here's chapter 5: enjoy!**

Chapter 5: The Final Blow.

Jade's POV.

I don't know how, but I fell asleep. And when I woke up, his arms were around me, not as tight as it usually is, as I wanted it to be. He'd bandaged my wound, but I was still in my bra, smirked. His breathing, slow and deep, tells me he's sleeping. Slowly, I turned, so I was facing him and put my head on his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his collar bone.

"I love you," I murmur softly. I want this moment to last forever.

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><p>I fell asleep again, and this time when I wake up, he's not there. Unlike other days, I didn't just fall back on the pillow, I had a bad feeling about this disappearance.<p>

I look at the clock. It's half pass 9 at night. Where would he be?

I sit upright, and I see a small post it on the pillow.

'Hey Babe, don't worry, I have to go do something, just go back to sleep, I'll be back soon:)"

I swear mentally. 'I have to go do something,' I should have suspected this ever since he told me he thought this was all his fault. Beck had gone to my father, and I had to stop him.

I threw the covers off, I don't know how long ago Beck had left and there's a good chance I'm already too late. Quickly I pull on a t-shirt, grab my purse and rush out the door.

I try calling him but it goes straight to his voicemail. The familiar voice hits me and I remember when he first recorded his voicemail message. We were in his RV, just chilling. He was recording his voice message thingy, what people would hear If they got to his voicemail.

'Hey you've reached the phone of Beck Oliver, I'm-'

"You sure you want to announce your name to whoever that calls you?" i had interrupted, slouched down on his couch.

He erased the first recording, "Jade, please don't interrupt, if someone calls me, they should know that they're calling me."

"What if it was a wrong number?" I asked.

"Then they'll know it was the wrong number instead of leaving me with 10 voice messages to the wrong person."

"Fine," I said, quieting down.

"Hey you've reached the phone of Beck Oliver," he started again.

"Is that the most creative you can get?" I interrupted again.

"Jade, it's a voice message recording, what do you want me to say?" he said, sighing.

"I don't know, maybe hi I'm Beck Oliver and I have a kick-ass girlfriend who'll destroy you socially if you try to hit on me," I suggested innocently.

"Nice try Jade, but I already let you take over my profile video," he said, before starting again. "Hey, you've reached the phone of Beck

Oliver, I'm probably really busy,"

"making out with my girlfriend," I added in.

"Jade!" he warned

"Just keep going," I said casually. He rolled his eyes but continued anyway.

"So I can't take your call right now, but I can take a message,"

"But if you're trying to hit on him, I'll kick your ass," I added again. He glares but I motion for him to keep talking.

"Yea, so leave your message after the beep,"

"Beep!" we both went together, and somehow we'd both ended up laughing.

Now our happy laughter resounds in my ears. I never realized that he used this as his voicemail. Mostly because he always answers when I call. Well, almost always.

I try texting him:

Where are you? Call me. NOW.

By now, i'm in my car, halfway across town. About 5 minutes away from my house.

Beck, surprisingly texts back:

Don't worry, i'll be back soon:)

Damn, was he there already? Then I spot him, about 4 cars ahead of me, I can see him in his car turning into my road.

"Shit," I swear, cutting a few cars and earning a chorus of horns and a few fingers. I'm surprised Beck hasn't already noticed me.

Now we're just 2 cars apart. He's parking along side the road. For the excellent driver he is, it takes him seconds to parallel park. Me on the other hand, relatively slower...

He's already at the door when I jump out.

"Beck!" I yell, he jumps as he turns to see me, but it's too late, he's rang the bell.

"Dammit Beck, how many times have told you not to come here?" I yell, and I hit his chest. He grabs my wrist stopping me. I'm about to scream at him again, when the door opens. I freeze, but it's just my mother. I breath a sigh of relief.

"Sorry mom, we didn't mean to disturb you. Just carry on with doing what you were doing," I say. I expect her to nod and smile and we'll be on our way. Instead, she calls my name, "Jade." and when I look at her again, something's different. Her whole face is pinched, and her eyes are narrow. She is pissed, and I have no idea why.

"May I have a word?" she says, her voice us cold. I nod slowly. "Alone," she emphasizes, looking at Beck. He leaps up but I give him a look and he's silenced.

"Sure," I say and we walk in the house, the door closing behind us.

"Well," she starts, " Jade, Jade, Jade," she tuts walking into the kitchen, I follow her. She turns around abruptly, "Look at what you've become." Without warning, her hands snakes up, and slaps me. Hard. "You've become such a horrible little girl, I am shamed to be your mother." I am shocked. What's happening? I expected this from my father, but my mom? Why?

"Your father has told me you've been spreading rumours," she says.

"What rumours?" I ask, I have no idea what she's talking about. She slaps me again. So hard, I fall onto the counter, my hand against my cheek.

"You dare interrupt me? Where have you learned these manners from?" she cries, "You insolent child. You've told that pretty boyfriend of yours, haven't you?" she screeches, "I bet you go to him crying all the time."

"Mom, what are you talking abo- ahh!" she slapped me again.

"What am I talking about? That idiot standing outside my house has threatened to press charges against your father, THAT'S WHAT!" she yells. There is a pause of silence and i can hear i faint knocking at the door.

"And now your father's has to go to court, for physical abuse! Of all things, your father wouldn't hurt a fly," she rants on. What? Now,

I'm pissed. "Liar," I seethe, and before she can slap me, I grab her hand.

"It's all true!" I yell at her. She flinches, but I continue screaming anyway. "Look at this!" I say showing her various bruises and cuts on my body. "Who do you think did that to me? Huh? Ask yourself mom, you know who it is."

For a while there is silence, she frowns, not knowing what to say.

"What are you talking about? He, James' he would never," she mutters shaking her head.

"Yes, he does mom, he does!" I yell.

"NO!" she screams. "He would not! He COULD not!" she yells right back.

"Mom!" I try shaking her, to wake her from this illusion she's always lived in.

"No," she says softer, and she looks up, and she is glaring at me."You're the liar!" she accuses, aiming her perfectly manicured finger at me, her red nails trembling.

She is glaring at me, her lips are firm, "Get out of my house," she says, in a cold tone i've only ever associated with my father. For a moment, i am stunned, how could she do this to me? "OUT!" she yells her arm points to the door. I feel a tear slide down my face, "Goodbye mom." I whisper, but she doesn't hear me. She's clutching her head leaning against the kitchen cabinet. I can faintly hear her, " Everything that she says is a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie." And it's the final blow.

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><p>Beck's POV<p>

Jade has closed up like a clam. I still have no idea what happened in that house. I heard some shouting and screaming, from Jade and surprisingly her mother. I know that she slapped Jade, because she came out and her cheeks were bright red. But when she came out, it was her eyes that shocked me. They were empty, void of anything. The ice blue eyes that had so often glared at me, was dull.  
>"Take me home," she'd said, her voice barely over a whisper. And I so I did. I didn't force her to say anything, she'd tell me when she was ready.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: So now both her parents hate her, and Jade's going into mild depression. Ooh i can't wait for the next chapter! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	6. In the Aftermath

Chapter 6: In the Aftermath

Jade's POV:

"What's wrong?" he keeps asking me. Honestly though, it's hard to explain, or rather, I don't want to explain.

It's like having a glass of ice water thrown at you when you're still snug in bed, warm and cosy. I shock that chills you to the bone, something completely unexpected, yet not quite...

Because, although I'm wet and freezing, I don't want to wake up. I don't want to succumb to reality. I don't want to face the truth.

I've always known my parents never truly loved me. Father hated me, mother pitied me. But at least, she still cared. To some extent. She attended my plays, sent me to school. Paid for my bills. More like a guardian than anything else. I always thought one day I'd confront her about dad. I thought she was just scared, too much in denial. No, I was wrong.

My mother never loved me.

She didn't believe me, trust me, or support me.

No, she threw me away.

Instead of waking up in a shock, I fall back in a dream. Life becomes nothing but days that go by. It's like everything feels so disconnected, there's a thick fog that separates me from the rest of the world.

Except Beck.

He sees through the fog, like a beaming ray of sunshine, and he's trying to wake me up, but I don't know if I can, I don't know if I want to.

He's the only thing keeping me to this earth. As long as I keep following him, following him...

Beck's POV:

This isn't the Jade West I know and love. I've seen her upset, and gloomy. I've seen her pissed and frustrated. I've even seen her downright depressed, but not like this. This isn't Jade. It's someone who looks exactly like her, impersonating her, but it's not fooling me.

Jade walks into rooms and forgets why she's there.

She stares at a book for an hour, without turning a page.

She opens the cupboard and forgets what she wants.

If I talk to her, she'll answer me.

If I try to make her laugh, she'll give me a small smile.

If I try to kiss her, she'll go along.

She eats, drinks and sleeps. There's nothing wrong with her. There just isn't anything right.

"Jade, c'mon, eat your food before it gets cold," I'd say. And she would pick up her fork and spoon and she would eat, lifting mouthfuls of food at a time.

"Jade, drink up your coffee, "I'd say. And she would bring the mug to her lips, swallowing. It was almost robotic.

The last time this ever happened was after a particularly bad fight with her father. I know it lasted a few hours, and she was very traumatised by it. But even then, it had only lasted a few minutes before she'd broken down. "Beck, do you think I'm worthless?" she'd asked me. I'd later spend another 3 hours consoling her, but I'd rather go through all that again than this.

It's been days, and I can't take it anymore.

"Jade," I start. We're on my bed just lazing around.

"What?"

"Let's talk," I say. She looks at me.

"Sure."

"What happened?" I ask.

"What are you talking about?" she answers.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about Jade," Now we're both sitting up, blue and brown locked together.

"I. don't.," she replies, glaring, before breaking the stare, looking down, "I'm tired, let's stop talking."

"Jade!" I raise my voice.

"What?" she says equally loud.

"Jade!" I yell, because I'm desperate for a reaction, for _anything_.

"What?" she says again, but it's still not there.

"JADE!" and this time I really scream, gripping her shoulders, shaking her, making her look me straight in the eye.

"WHAT?" she shrieks back. And finally, _finally_, I have her back.

There is a static silence between us, and I pull her towards me, her head rests on my shoulder.

"Tell me what happened. Really," I whisper.

There is a long pause, but I let her take her time.

"She screamed at me."

"I heard," I ebb her on.

"She called me a horrible little girl,"

"You're not."

"She said you threatened to put my father to court."

"I did."

She looks up then, "Why?" she whispers.

"Because I can't stand you getting hurt any longer," I reply, my palm reaches out to caress her cheek.

There is a short pause as we study each other's faces.

"What else?" I ask, because I know there's more.

Tears start to pool in her eyes as she whispers, "Beck, she doesn't love me, she never did."

And then I understand, and so I pull her to me and let her cry into my chest letting it all out.

...

"You don't have to do this you know?" I tell her.

"I swear if I spend another minute in that RV, I'll rip everything apart," she mutters, settling down in the passenger seat of the car.

"Fine, but we don't have to go to school, we can just go out somewhere," I suggest.

"Beck! I'm fine, stop treating me like an invalid!" she exclaims.

"Whatever you say," I reply, starting up the car. "Just don't blame me when Tori pisses you off again and you wanna go home."

"Why do I even put up with you?"

"Because you love me."

She rolls her eyes, "Don't be a sap."

"Nah, you love the sappy me," I smile. She scowls.

"Hmph," is all I get from her. I just grin and continue on.

Jade's been acting more like her usual self now, but I'm not that sure if she's really ok. I for one know how great an actress she is.

"Where's my coffee?" she asks suddenly.

"Well, because _someone_ woke up late, I didn't have time to make any coffee," I say.

"Well maybe _someone_ should fix their alarm clock so I wake up!"

"Hmm, I wonder who _broke_ my alarm clock in the first place."

She breaks. "It's not my fault, that your alarm clock was put in such a vulnerable location!" she practically explodes.

"Chill honey, I'll get you coffee when we get to school," I place one hand on her shoulder but she slaps it away.

"Call me honey one more time and I'll stab you with my scissors," she warns.

"No you won't," I say triumphedly.

"Oh yeah? Why not?" she retorts.

"Because I'm driving and punching me might compromise your life."

There is a short silence, and I'm sure I've won.

"Nah," she says, grinning slyly.

"Nah?" I ask a little nervously.

"I trust that you are an excellent driver and will not bring me any harm in anyway whilst I am hitting you," her grin just widened.

"Jade," I say scooting to the edge of my seat. "Calm down, calm-OW! Jade! Stop it!" We reach a red light finally and I grab her wrists.

"Let go of me Beck, Let- mmm" I interrupt her with a kiss. A soft kiss, filled with passion and love.

In the corner of my eye, I saw the lights turn green. Unwillingly, I pull away.

Driving off, I steal a glance at her, "Am I forgiven?"

Silence. Her arms were folded, eyes glaring at something in front of her.

I take it that I was.


	7. Family Crisis

**A?N: So, this whole chapter is mostly in Tori's point of view. It's comfirmed, Tori will find out about Jade next chapter and things will get nasty...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own victorious.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><span>Chapter 7:<span>

Tori's POV:

Call me crazy, but I keep having this suspicious theory with Jade...Actually it's not really a theory, I just know something's up. So, yes, I've been stalking them. Sigh, I never thought I'd ever stoop this low for a guy, but I guess I have.

So far nothing much has happened, I followed Beck back to the RV. He must really have been out of it, because he didn't notice a thing.

I haven't seen Jade yet, but I assume she's in the RV where Beck is. Since Beck told me he was doing something for Jade. I wait for at least 2 hours, but nothing's happened. Just when I start to give up, the door opens, and out comes Beck. He hasn't even changed yet! What the hell is Jade to her? Is she really _that_ important? Slowly, I contain my anger and follow Beck, good thing for me, my car isn't that conspicuous.

He drives up to a small neighbourhood and rings the doorbell of one of the houses. A man walks out and they start up a heated conversation. I can't hear them because I'm not close enough, I get out of my car and sneak quietly behind a shrub in someone's garden. There I catch a few words here and there.

"-treat Jade like that!" I hear Beck.

"It's my decision the way- my daughter!"

Wait wait, Jade? My daughter? Could this guy possibly be Jade's father?

"You dare threaten me to court?" the man suddenly yells.

Court? What on earth is wrong with Jade?

I look closer at them, at him. He looks like he's in his mid-forties, the perfect age for a father. I can see some resemblance too. He has Jade's blue eyes, and her cold glare.

They move further away from the shrub I'm hiding behind and soon their voices are muffled.

Then Beck got into his car and drove off, the man presumably Mr. West cursing him as he went.

I was just about to follow them when my phone rang. Irritated, I look at the caller ID: Trina Vega. _Of course_ it was her. I can always count on Trina to ruin something for me. Sighing, I answer the phone.

"What?" I say in an annoyed voice.

"Tori!" she exclaims, "Where are you?" she asks making me sound like an 8 year old child that ran away from home.

"I was just-"

"Where did you put the peanut butter?" she interrupts, obviously too impatient to even listen to my answer.

"It's in the fridge Trina, It's always in the fridge," I tap my foot impatiently.

"I've already looked there," she whines.

"Then look again!" I cry out exasperated.

"And make me _walk_ all the way back to the kitchen?" she sounds incredulous.

I refuse to answer.

"Fine! Fine, I'll go, walk _all_ the way down the stairs, _all_ the way to the kitchen, _all_ the way to the-"

"Trina!" I snap, "Just check the fridge!"

I hear a sigh, a few dragged steps and then the click of the fridge door opening.

"Tori!" she cries again, "It's not here!" she groans.

"Well what do you want me to do then?" I ask throwing my free hand in the air, even though I know she can't see me.

"Help me find the peanut butter!" she whines. And she's the older sister.

"Maybe we're out!" I suggest.

"Then buy me some peanut butter!" she demands.

"Why are you getting so worked up over peanut butter anyway?"

"I just want peanut butter!" she screams over the line.

"Okay! Okay! I'll buy your stupid peanut butter!"

"Really?"

"Yes. Now bye." I hang up, rolling my eyes. What did I ever do to deserve her?

I start up my car driving to the nearest supermarket, knowing that if I don't have her peanut butter when I return, I will get _hell_ from her. As quick as I can I grab two large bottles of peanut butter of the shelf, creamy and chunky, since Trina isn't very specific. And I do not want to make a second trip here.

I pay the lady at the counter, letting her keep the change and speeding back home. But still, I'm greeted with my usual: "What took you so long?"

"Trina, just take the peanut butter!" I throw the bag at her and stalk over to the kitchen pouring myself a cup of water. I gulp that down quickly and open the fridge, looking for a coke. There's no coke, however there is peanut butter.

"TRINA!" I yell.

"What?" she yells back.

"Come here!"

"What, oh," she says when she spots the peanut butter I'm holding out.

"Hehe, how did I miss that?" she asks nervously, taking the peanut butter from my hands before I can throw it at something or someone.

Too tired to argue, I plop down on the couch. My mind begins to wander back to Beck, and Jade.

"Hey Trina," I say after a while.

"Hmm?" she replies.

"What was Jade and Beck like, before I came," I ask. Trina knows about my crush on Beck. However annoying she may be, she's also the one I trust the most. At least with most things.

"They were the same, I guess Jade might have been a little nicer?" she says.

"Really? Have you heard any, I don't know, rumours about Jade?"

"Nope, oh wait! Once Cat once let slip that Jade used to be nicer and less bitchy."

"She said that?" I ask, unable to imagine Cat swearing.

"No!" she scoffs, "But_ I_ know how to read between the lines," she says smugly. I roll my eyes.

"I never knew Jade and Cat were that close."

"Oh, you didn't? They met in like kindergarten or something."

"Oh, so you mean that-Whoa, Trina!" I jumped away from the sofa. Trina suddenly turned around facing me, creamy peanut butter smeared all over her face.

"Ok, why is there peanut butter on your face?" I ask.

"It's a mask you idiot!"

"A peanut butter mask?" I clarify, scepticism dripping from each word.

"Well duh! Isn't this peanut butter?" she exclaims, making swirling motions around her face.

"A peanut butter mask?" I ask again.

"It was in this magazine!" she says picking up one of the various beauty and fashion magazines from the floor.

"Fine, fine!" I raise my arms, giving up. Living with Trina was incredibly draining. Then Trina's celphone rang.

"Could you get that Tori? I have peanut butter on my fingers!"

I sighed and reached for the phone.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>Jade's POV:<p>

I swear, it's like she's a freakin goddess or something. Whenever she walks into the room everyone's faces lights up, _everyone's_. Well, Cat doesn't really count. Her face lights up with anyone, much less Tori's. Sometimes it strikes me as impossible how she has everyone wrapped around her little finger.

"Hey guys!" she says, slipping into the seat on the other side of Beck. I throw my head back in frustration, but as usual, nobody notices. Except Beck of course, who puts an arm around my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

"You will not believe what Trina was doing over the weekend," she paused in suspense, her fingers grasping the edge of the table "A peanut butter mask," she said. And then she leaned back and crossed her arms, waiting for everyone's response.

"A peanut butter mask? That's crazy! Don't know how you deal with her Tori." –Andre.

"My brother loves peanut butter! Once he tried covering his whole body in it. It took hours to wash it off! Especially on his hair." –Cat.

"Whoa, that girls got issues!" –Rex

"Rex! Shush! She might hear you!" –Robbie

Tori sighed dramatically, "I know, I know," and Andre patted her on her back, sympathizing.

No doubt the reaction she'd planned for.

"And what's more, she made me go around the entire town looking for the specific brand of peanut butter. And get this: we actually had it at home. God! Sometimes Trina can be so blind!" she exclaimed, reeling in more sympathetic comments.

I'm starting to think that Beck was right and coming to school was a waste of time after all. I roll my eyes in frustration, I steal a glance at Beck, he hadn't said a word the whole of lunch. He seemed distracted, playing with my hair. I gave him a glare.

His hands went straight up, 'wasn't me' written all over his face. But the moment I turned back to my coffee, I felt his fingers twirling in my hair. I grin to myself, there was just no helping that guy.

"Jade, how was your weekend?" Tori asks me suddenly, doe eyed and innocent.

"It was just fine, thanks," I smile at her sweetly, elongating the fine, making myself sound a little country.

"What about you Beck?", she turns to face my drop dead gorgeous boyfriend and I glare at her.

"Hmm?" he says looking at her, "I was with Jade," he says simply, turning back to me. I smile, a smug and satisfied smile.

I look down and realize, Beck had been braiding my hair.

"C'mon, let's go," I say picking up my books. He follows suit and we leave without any arguments.

The rest of lunch went rather peacefully, with Beck's arm around me protectively I felt like I was in a little bubble where no one could hurt me.

I drifted with him from hallway to hallway, bench to bench, the colourful swirl of the lockers a comforting background.

Until it all went crashing down.

"Jade!" someone called out, I look over my shoulder. It's Lane.

"I'm so glad I caught up to you, your dad called, said there was some family crisis. He wants to see you. He's at the office, waiting."

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><p><strong>AN: Yes! A clifthanger, finally! What's gonna happen next? Can't wait.**

**Please! pretty pretty please with a cherry on top review! unless you don't like cherries. I know a lot of people have this story on alert. Yes I'm speaking to those people! Please review! And if you don't have my story on alert, REVIEW ANYWAY! I love you anyways if you've read my story, but i'll love you EVEN MORE if you review!**

**So yes: press da button, you know you wanna:D**


	8. Secrets One Too Many

Chapter 7: Secrets One Too Many.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Victorious  
><strong>Read and Review!<br>A/N: This is 1kimmy101's brother uploading this. She wrote it, but its me who's uploading this! So all of you fans had better be grateful! She is not uploading this herself because she is at camp!**

**Please Enjoy  
><strong>

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><p>Tori's POV:<p>

I left the lunch table soon after Beck, watching as they made their way through the school. First to their locker, then the benches, finally making their way over to their next class. I sigh and walk back through the corridors.

I don't really see much difference in Jade. She's just being the sarcastic bitch she's always been. I don't know what her problem is! Can't she just be flippin' nice for once? And why the hell would Beck, of all people like her? I shake my head in annoyance. How could he, of all people- oof. I bumped into Andre.

"Hey Tori!" he says cheerfully, then noticing my glum mood, he adds, "Still hung up about the Trina issue?" he asks.

"Yeah," I lie, running my hand through my hair.

"Don't worry," he reassures me, smiling casually. Why couldn't it be Andre? He's nice, charming even, and he's sure as hell talented. Also, he's helped me out almost every time I needed it. But it can't be Andre, not just because I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me in_ that_ way, but with Beck, there's a spark.

I talk with him for a while more, before excusing myself. Although I don't see any difference with Jade, there is definitely something up with Beck. Whenever he looks at Jade, there's this overwhelming expression of concern and protectiveness that makes me want to pull them apart like a mad woman. Besides that, he doesn't seem completely here, I caught him staring at Jade at least twice today, having to pull his sleeves to catch his attention. I'm just pretending that I never heard him call me Vega. I expect an apology sooner or later, but right now, I'm more interested about what's up with Jade.

The bell rings, signalling the end of lunch, but right now I can't focus. I contemplate about whether going to class and learning nothing would be better than just ditching. Ditching wins, not exactly Tori behaviour, but honestly the only thing on my mind now is Beck.

I walk to the parking lot, trying to spot my car, when I hear a man shouting.

"Selfish, spoiled little brat," he yelled. I turned around, shocked. But he wasn't yelling at me, he was near the end of the parking lot, screaming at none other than Jade West.

Jackpot.

"After what we've done for you all these years, trying to escape with all those lies," he seethes. And then to my horror, he slaps her, I can tell it's pretty hard, because Jade stumbled, and Jade never stumbles. I get closer, hiding behind cars to stay hidden.

"I'm s-sor-rry," she mumbled, I couldn't believe it, Jade West apologizing.

"You should be, I expect this whole issue to be resolved by the time I'm home. They called me down in the middle of a meeting. Can you imagine the humiliation? Trying to explain why the police was looking for me to my colleagues?" He was starting to yell again, and I could see Jade cringe with every syllable. I felt a bit guilty for just sitting here, but I was so close to figuring out everything, I'm not gonna just let go of this opportunity.

"I'm sorry," she half whispered again, her head was bowed down. Then, quick as lightning, he lashes out and kicks Jade in her abdomen. She cries out, clutching her stomach.

"Never forget your place Jadelyn," he says coldly, and I can tell he's going to hit her again when all of a sudden, he's there.

Beck.

He's holding on to his arm, standing protectively in front of Jade, and a rush of envy fills me, replacing whatever guilt I held. I don't know how I didn't spot him before. It's like he teleported or something.

"Get out of here before I call someone," he practically snarls.

"Beck, stop it," Jade tries to protest, but he just holds her back.

"You son of a bitch!" the man yells, but he knows he lost. He can't draw much more attention than he already has. He slaps away Beck's hand and stalks off angrily to his car.

By now, Jade has collapsed into Beck's chest, just relaxing in his embrace, crying silent tears.

"Shhhh, it's ok now," he says, stroking her hair gently, his other arm holding her closer to him. "It's alright," he soothes. Then he looks around the parking lot. His eyes meet mine. I can see his hand falter for a second on her hair. Jade has felt it as well.

"What? What is it?" she asks, looking up anxiously.

"Nothing," he replies smoothly, looking back down at her.

"Kiss me," she demands. And he obliges. I can feel my eyes starting to sting, and I can't take it anymore. I quickly make my way back to the school, locking myself in the nearest girls toilet and vomiting the contents of my lunch.

Beck's POV

"Jade?" asks Lane, she has stiffened in my arms, her eyes wide in fear.

"Can't you tell him she's in class?" I ask Lane, my eyes desperate.

He shakes his head, "I tried, he said it was urgent. Why? Is it an important class?" he asks me.

Jade has come to, "Ok, I'll go."

"I'll go with her," I say quickly. This is going to be bad.

"Not so fast Mr. Oliver, this is not an excuse for you to cut class too, Jade's just talking to her father for a while, chill!" Lane says escorting me to class, while Jade walks away to the office, where her father is.

I get seated in class, waiting for Lane to leave. Once I'm positive he's out of the hallway I raise my hand.

"Ms. Esquesani, may I please be excused to go to the toilet?"

"Beck! You just had lunch!" she chastises.

"Please!" I plead, "It's really urgent!"

She rolls her eyes, but lets me go. I am one of her best students after all.

I quickly make my way towards the office, but Jade's not there. I can't ask the secretary where she is because she'll just tell Lane I'm not in class. Damn. I think to myself, where could Jade be?

The parking lot, I'm sure Jade's father wouldn't cause a commotion in the middle of the school.

I almost run there, just in time to see Jade's father punch her in the gut. She cries out, and it breaks my heart. I can tell he's about to hit her again, but luckily I'm there to stop it.

I'm shaking with anger, "Get out of here before I call someone," I practically snarl.

Jade tries to protest, but I just holds her back.

"You son of a bitch!" he yells, but we both know who lost. He can't draw more attention than he already has. He slaps away my hand away and stalks off angrily to his car. I immediately turn to Jade, who's sobbing silently into my chest.

"Shhh, it's ok now," I soothe, trying to calm her down. I stroke her hair, combing out the tangles in her dark locks.

"Shhh it's alright," I say. Then I suddenly feel like we're being watched. I look up and there's Tori. She's staring straight at us, hiding behind a car.

I falter for a second, then curse myself mentally hoping Jade didn't notice. She did.

"What? What happened?" she cries out anxiously.

"Nothing," I say looking directly at her ice blue eyes, and for a second, I forget everything around me. It's just me and Jade, like it always has been.

"Kiss me," she demands, and I oblige happily, it's the sweetest kiss we've shared for a while, and I'm starting to think I've really got her back. I look back up again, but Tori's gone.

I need to find her, I need to make sure Jade's secret is kept. With Tori, I usually wouldn't have been this worried, but times had changed. If she was really the Tori I thought she was, then she should have stopped the fight, and had a feeling she was there long before I was on the scene.

"C'mon, babe, I need to get back to class soon before Ms. Esquesani sends someone to the toilet after me," I tell her. "It's the last period, you wanna just stay in my car?" I ask her. She nods and I walk her there. She gets in the car silently. "Go take a nap kay?" I say, before rushing back into the building.

Jade's POV:

I try, I really did try, but I couldn't sleep.

What is wrong with me? If anyone saw me right now, I don't think they'd recognize me. I'm a complete mess, and I'm shaking all over. I make an effort to pull myself together, but all I can hear is his voice: "You insolent child!" he'd say, " I wished you'd never been born!" he'd scream after throwing an empty bottle of beer at me. "You are NOTHING!" he'd spit at me... And worst of all was his taunt, "Where are you going? My _precious_ little Jadey." And then I knew I was in for it. He would get me, and there was nothing I could do about it but wait for it to be over.

It wasn't always like that though. No, in the beginning, way back, I can remember a family. A real family. Before, I came along and destroyed it, before it all happened.

I always tried not to remember that day, because then I'm reminded of how my life turned into a nightmare, and I'm reminded of how it was all my fault.

The little girl loved singing, even when she was 5. Back then, they were known as the Woods family. Mr. And Mrs. Woods, and their darling Jadelyn Woods.

They were in the car, she sat at the back, singing along to the radio. They were on their way home from some conference her father had needed to attend. It was a happy occasion, if all went well, her father would be promoted and they'd all move to the city.

"Put on your seatbelt Jadelyn," her father chastised. It was late and the streets were icy, wet and slippery.

"No!" she retorted, a rebel even then. Besides, father had said his boss seemed pleased with his work, what could go wrong? _Everything._

They were going up a windy road, and Jade was rolling around in the back seat giggling. Whenever the car turned, she'd fall that way as well, tumbling over the seats giggling happily.

"Jadelyn!" he yelled, looking at her through the rear view mirror.

"Nooo!" she yelled back, sticking out her tongue.

"Jadey!" he said again, and she could tell he was getting angry. So she did as told, sitting down, sulking. But she didn't put on her seatbelt. She just pulled the strap down, hiding it under the folds of her white dress. Determined to disobey her father in some way. She waited for a moment to exact revenge. She waited until her parents were occupied, her mother staring at the map, trying to find the correct exit. Her father focusing on the road.

"BOO!" she shrieked jumping into the front seats.

"JADEY!" her father turned around, to scream at his daughter.

There was a large bam, as their Volvo hit a small Toyota. The blue car skid across the ice, colliding into a large truck. There was a loud explosion, and Jade found herself being jerked into her mother's arms.

The Woods family survived, with just a few scrapes and bruises. Even their car was okay, a small bump at the front the only evidence of the entire incident.

The family in the small Toyota, was not as fortunate. It was a small family of 3. Only one had survived. A little toddler, at the age of 2. And now, because of Jade, he lived on without his parents. A crying infant, strapped to the back of the seat.

Her father didn't get the job he wanted, in fact he was fired. He was no longer good publicly. He was charged for drunk driving, even though he's hardly drank. Just a bottle or less, but it was an easy conjecture for the police. Their family fell into a state of depression. Newspapers and the media took charge of everything. Changed everything. Somehow turning the whole situation into a drama. How one family destroyed another. And Jadelyn West, the despicable child that had just stripped off the parents of another. Constantly harassed by her parents, Jade turned against herself, changing her closet and makeup. She was no longer that bubbly girl in the back of the car.

In school, she used to have a whole group of friends. They all left, except Cat. She was always there for her. But it still hurt, the loss of everyone. Staring at her in dismay or even pity. Jade hated it. How easily human bonds could be broken. What was the point of making them in the first place?

Eventually they moved, places where no one had ever heard of them, and started afresh. It was quite simple to take on her grandmother's maiden name, West. From Jadelyn Woods to Jade West. But Jade was never freed, from those accusations. It's her fault, it's all her fault. And she still remembers it. The crying face of that infant, wailing for his mother. Screaming, flailing around. It's in her every nightmare. It's the one thing that scares her more than her father.

I clutch my head, and pull my knees to my chest. Just sleep Jade, sleep it off, I told myself. I'm huddling myself to the seat of Beck's car. Trying desperately to get rid of that vision. Not even Beck knows. And I plan on keeping it that way. I wait for him to come, and pull me into his arms, wipe away my tears and stroke my hair. To sing me a lullaby and tell me everything's alright.


	9. I Love You

**A/N: Ok, I am IMMENSELY sorry for the long wait. So this is the longest chapter so far...It's not quite as perfect as I wanted it to be, but it's something right? I switched from Windows to Apple a week ago, and somehow when I was bringing all the documents over, all my fanfic got corrupted.. Yes, it sucks, and then I travelled halfway across the globe to Brazil and stayed in a lot of places with no wifi. So I know it's still no excuse, so I'm sorry. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious**

Chapter 8: I Love You.

Jade's POV:

I didn't fall asleep like I hoped to. I was almost there though, in that phase just before you sleep, when you're barely aware of anything in the outside world. I wonder what it would be like to constantly be in that dream like state. To be there, yet not there. That state where you're so vulnerable, one little thing, the rustle of the leaves, or the banging of the door can seem cause you to sit up in a panic.

But it wasn't either of those that triggered me. No such luck for me I guess, it was Tori Vega laughing on her cellphone.

"Yeah! I know right?" –pause- "Who cares about what she thinks? She deserves it!" she exclaimed into her pearphone as she walked pass Beck's car. I shrunk down, I didn't want to let Tori see me like this.

"Oh c'mon Trina! For once can't you be happy for me?" she trailed on happily.

"Ugh," I moan, her happiness is sickening. I lean back in my seat and release my knees from my arms. I take deep breaths, not wanting to relive old memories. So I think of Beck. Beck and his breathtaking smile. His innocent face he pulled on when I catch him doing something behind my back. His sly grin whenever he makes me jealous. When his brows knit in concern for me and his brown eyes melts my heart.

Thinking of which, where is that guy? The bell had rang at least 10 minutes ago, students had trailed out the doors, getting into cars, catching buses, hailing cabs. But he wasn't one of them. I'm tempted to just get out and find him myself, but my face is a mess. Mascara and eyeliner were washed off by my tears and had drawn black lines on my cheeks. My eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying.

I sighed and sat up again, staring out the window. Then I saw him, rushing out of the door, his bag slung low on one shoulder. He looked angry. His eyes were cold, his lips set in a hard line. He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he continued to stride towards the car. He looked frustrated too. Then he caught me watching him and his expression changed. He put on an easy smile and walked even more hurriedly to my side, opening the door.

"Looks like someone was waiting for me," Beck says with a smug air.

"Rather impatiently, might I add," I reply, raising my eyebrow.

"My apologies ma'am, I had to see Ms. Paula about something." He reaches for my hand and lifts it up to kiss it. I give him a wry smile, it's been a while since he's acted like this.

"Oh is that so, well then I guess you couldn't help it then," I say casually playing along.

"Not at all ma'am," he answers as he pulls me closer. I'm sitting on his lap now, our faces inches apart.

"Then I guess you're forgiven then," I say nonchalantly. But then he grins and pulls me in, crushing my lips to his. When we pull away for air he doesn't let go, instead he just hugs me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Everything will work out alright Jade. So don't be scared," he murmured.

I open my mouth to retort back, to say that I'm not scared, but he knows me to well. "Okay," I say simply.

He lets go and walks to the other side of the car and gets in, pulling the seatbelt on before driving away.

"So what should we do today?" he says as he turns out of HA.

"Aren't we going back to the RV?" I ask him.

"Nah, let's go shopping." He says with a large grin. I raise my eyebrow. "Shopping," I clarify. This is very suspicious…

"Shopping!" he exclaims, in a very Cat like manner, and the insanity of it all causes me to laugh.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah! Why not right?" he turns to look at me. "When's the last time we really went out for fun?" he asks. Now that I think about it, he's right. We've hardly ever left the RV since almost forever.

"Fine, let's go," I say with a sigh. He cheers and yells like a toddler going to Disney world. I just roll my eyes, wondering how he does it. How the hell does he just lift me like that? Dragging out all that pented up shit that was in me.

We end up in a small town 5hrs away from Hollywood, arguing about the music selection all the way:

"Frank Sinatra." I say in disbelief.

"Hey don't diss Sinatra! He's a good singer!"

"He's dead!" I snap back. "At least pick someone like Bocelli! With talent! And alive!"

"What's wrong with dead people?" he complains.

"Did I say there was anything wrong with them?" I throw my hands in the air.

"So I guess you don't like Michael Jackson anymore then? Or Ella Fitzgerald? Or even the Beatles?"

"Oh don't start with the Beatles! Paul's still alive!" I hiss.

"Mmhmm?" he just whistles the chorus of 'Here Comes the Sun' innocently, knowing I love the Beatles.

"Can't you stick to the current music?" I turn the knob.

"Bon Jovi?" he just stares at me. He turns again.

"Oh my god, Beck! Mamma Mia?" He shrugs, singing along to 'Dancing Queen'. I can't believe him. I turn the knob.

"ACDC? Are you kidding?" turn.

"Britney Spears?" turn.

"Avril Lavigne?"

"I like her… Don't turn that knob Beck! Don't you dare-" turn.

"Jade! You like this song!" he objects trying to push my arm away.

"I don't care!" I yell pushing him away and reaching for the knob. There's a short silence when we're just cruising though the static. Then the faint sound of music comes through.

"Miley Cyrus? Really Jade? Really?"

"Better than Mamma Mia! God!" I scream. And it went on. Eventually though, we ended up on Taylor Swift. We both liked her.

We ended up at the more just in time for dinner though. But there's noting much, so we settle for pizza hut.

"Where do you wanna go now?" he asks me, holding me from my back, his arms around my waist.

"Honestly Beck, there's nothing much here," I reply, leaning into his chest.

"Nonsense! Look there's a supermarket!" he points.

"What are we doing? Grocery shopping?" I laugh.

"Why not? I'm sure they have a candy section!"

"What is wrong with you today?" I turn so I'm facing him, "You usually hate shopping! And your enthusiasm is becoming something akin of Cat's emotions. I'm starting to think that you're being – mmph!" Beck interrupts me with another kiss.

"Being?" he inquires slyly when he pulls away, still holding on to my waist.

"Incredibly sweet," I answer, before realizing what just said. My eyes widen and I bite my lip. Shittttt… I can so imagine Beck's reaction. No one will be able to stop him from gloating for the next few decades.

"Oh ho ho! Jade! I believe this is the first romantic comment in our entire 2 year relationship!" He exclaims smugly.

"11 months," I grumble, pulling away from him and stalking off, crossing my arms.

"Oh c'mon Jade! You know you wanna," he tries to pull me back, and I turn around abruptly. "Oh don't you start the 'you know you wanna' with me." I snap.

"Okay, I'm sorry, really!" he attempts to look serious when he sees the skepticism splashed on my face. "I'll make it up to you. I will." Then he grins, and I'm sure he's thought of another immature idea.

"I'll do it right now," he says the grin plastered on his face even though my eyebrow has been permanently raised. "Okay, just stay here, rightttt here," he instructs positioning me in the center of the passage in between the various stores and designer labels.

"Whatever this is Beck, you better make sure you don't regret it." I threaten darkly.

"You'll love it!" he exclaims and slowly he backs away from me. All of a sudden I'm very suspicious. I take a glance behind me but I see nothing remotely dangerous.

"Beck?" I say my voice coming out a pitch higher than usual. I take a few steps forward.

"Stay there!" he urges putting out his hand to stop me. I huff but stay there in anticipation.

"Ready?" mouths to me, now around 6 meters away from me. I nod, waiting for it to be over. Maybe he was going to run and jump on me. Or do a stupid dance. I just hope it doesn't embarrass me.

I can see Beck's grin in anticipation. Then he cups his hands around his mouth and yells, " JADELYN MARIE WEST, I LOVE YOU!" A shocked silence fills the air, but he's not done yet, "I REALLY, REALLY," he stops for a breath, "LOVE YOU!" he shouts.

I am stunned into silence. Around me the shopping mall erupts into cheers and clapping.

"You go man! You got guts!" some random guy shouts, as Beck walks slowly back to me. Actually, no, not walking, sauntering would be a more proper word. He reaches me in 3 strides, pulling me towards him for a passionate kiss. The crowd just went even more wild. He pulls away and looks to the numerous shoppers, store owners and other bystanders before bowing twice, to the left and to the right.

Finally, I snap out of it. "You are so dead," I seethe, pulling him away from the center of attention and into the supermarket.

"I can't _believe_ you did that!" I turn to look at him.

"I take it I'm forgiven?" he's still acting so smug it pisses me off.

"Oh god I need a coffee." I press the palm of my hand to my forehead. He just laughed happily. I'm secretly happy he did that and he knows it. Beck's never been so outspoken about our relationship. That part usually falls to me and he knows it.

We continue to walk through the produce aisles. The supermarket is huge, almost as big as Walmart. It's also deserted, save for a few middle aged mothers and Beck and I. He grabbed the large shopping cart though I didn't think we'd buy anything.

"These oranges look good. Do you want an orange Jade?"

"I'd rather stuff a banana up your ass." He knows full well that I hate oranges, and bananas…

"But I'd rather you don't," he just replies cheekily. I don't answer, so he starts up again. "Ooh look Jade, bananas!" I turn around, readily equipped with another round of sarcastic remarks when one of those middle aged mothers bump into me, stepping on my foot with a ridiculously high heel for someone her age. Especially when she's just in a supermarket. Ridiculously sharp too.

I let out a string of curses, as I hop around the aisle, grabbing my foot.

"You okay?" he asks, concerned.

"Do I look okay?" I snap.

"Let me see," he murmurs but I move out of his grasp.

"I'm fine," I say, overwhelmed by the sudden influx of concern for me.

"Jade, don't make me do it," he threatens lightly.

I raise my eyebrow for what seems like the billionth time today. "Do what?"

"This," he say, lifting me up and dumping me in the shopping cart.

"Beck!" I squealed surrounded by the columns of metal bars. I try pushing myself out but he pushes me back down.

"Ready?" he whispers into my ear.

"Ready? What do you mean read-" I got cut off as he started to push the cart at a rapid speed down the aisle.

"Beck!" I shriek, "We're gonna crash!" I yell, but suddenly, the cart swerves and we turn into the next aisle, slowing down to a leisurely pace.

"Don't worry, I got you," he says, leaning down on the cart handle so his chin rests on my shoulders.

"I hate you," I mutter, but he just chuckles contendedly.

"I love you," he says, before tipping my chin up with his finger so he can kiss me. I smile, maybe there is hope in this world after all.

Eventually we left the supermarket. We didn't buy anything in the end. Not even the bananas, despite Beck's persistent pestering. We settled back into the RV, snuggling in bed. I lay on his chest, his arms around me as I drift of to sleep.

"Jade," his voice pierces through the still night.

"What?"

"What did your dad say? In the carpark."

I stiffen, as memories of today come back. It seemed like that all happened weeks ago.

"He said I had to drop the case," I say finally.

"What did you tell him," he prompts.

"I said I would," I turn around knowing that he'd object to this. "Beck, I have no intention of going to court with this. It's a small place, word will get around."

"Isn't that better than sitting there and taking all his blows?" he asks, his arms tighten protectively.

"No. I don't want _anyone_ to know. I'm sick of people always staring and acting like they're _better_ than me. I can't stand it!" I exclaim.

"No one would ever be better than you Jade, you. Wait." He looks me right in the eye. "What do you mean you're sick of it? Meaning you've gone through it before?" I freeze, lowering my gaze, but he continues on anyway, "Have you told anyone else about this? Were you in another," he pauses, thinking of how to ask the question. "Have you gone to court before Jade?"

"No," I answer, because I can, and because he's so close to the truth. "It's just an expression Beck."

"No it's not," he says firmly. "Look at me Jade." I don't. "Look at me." I raise my gaze finally.

"You're hiding something from me."

I take in a sharp breath. He's right, of course he is. But he looked heartbroken when he said those words. Like he thought I didn't trust him. But I do. I trust him more than anyone else on this planet. I just couldn't tell him. His whole view of me would change.

"It wouldn't change a thing about us," he says as if he read my mind.

"Of course not," I murmur, running my fingers through his hair carelessly.

"Please Jade,"

So I told him. What else could I do? I told him everything, from start to end. And then I let him hold me as I sobbed into his chest until I cried myself to sleep.

"I love you Jade. I always will." I heard him murmur before finally going under.

**A/N: So I tried to make this a happy story, since Jade's been through crap the last few days. Hope you enjoyed. **

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thanks 4 reading:) and reviewing:) LUV YA ALL.

kimi


	10. His Angel

**A/N: Well this chapter certainly took a while to write. Yes, yes I know, the time between the days I update is slowly increasing… Don't worry though, I definitely won't give up this story. But I really am busy, can you believe it? It's my freakin holiday but I feel like I had more time to write during school days… sigh and life goes on**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, if I did I would be rich and live in a fancy villa with a Yorkshire and drive a red Porsche convertible, instead of stuck in my room with crappy wifi. Ahhh the good life…**

**Enjoy and as always: REVIEW!**

Chapter 10: His Angel

Beck held her as she cried, each sob shaking her entire frame. He soothed her a shushed her, told her that he was there. Told her that she was strong, told her that he'd love her forever and ever, no matter what she'd done.

"You wouldn't believe those people Beck! Their stares, seemed to follow me everywhere. I couldn't stand it! I really couldn't stand it," she whispered, her breath ragged, her fingers clutching on to his shirt for dear life.

"It's ok Jade, just sleep, I'm here."

"I remember one day, I just couldn't take it. It was like if I died the next day, no one would care. Most of them would be glad actually." His anger rose, how could anyone treat her like that? Treat anyone like that?

"Who is 'them' Jade?"

"I don't know, students, teachers, parents. Everyone. The town was so small, people knew. I'd walk to the grocery store and I could feel their eyes on me." She shuddered, and he pulled her closer instinctively.

"Shhhh, don't worry, no one will know. I'll make sure of it," he said, with a steel determination.

Slowly, slowly, he rocked her to sleep, and he watched her lying there on his chest. She seemed so at peace when she slept, like an angel. His angel. He wondered what he'd done to deserve her. Yes, she was…intolerable, at times, but damn, she was the best thing that ever happened to him. Her spirit was just so contagious. No matter what happened, she held her head up high and threw her shoulders back. She voiced her opinions, _all_ of them, and although some thought she was too harsh or cruel, he didn't see it that way. To him, she was just being frank, honest. If she wanted to say something, she said it, she was just that brave. And don't even get him started on her voice. Jade was just who she was, but flaws and all, she was perfect to Beck.

Her confidence exuded out of her constantly, she didn't take shit from anyone. Or so he'd thought. He remembered the day he'd first found out about her, about her father.

She hadn't come to school in a week, and she wouldn't answer her phone. Naturally, he was worried, panicked almost. He knew she wasn't deliberately avoiding him because both Andre and Cat had tried calling as well.

When she did come back to school, there was something very off. She was avoiding him, deliberately going out of her way to avoid a conversation, refusing to make eye contact.

"I was sick," she answered when I asked her why she hadn't come to school.

"My phone ran out of battery."

"I forgot to call."

The excuses came easily. He knew she was lying, he could tell immediately that something was wrong. She looked exhausted, her skin was clammy and blotchy, her eyes were red and slightly sore: a telltale sign that she had been crying. A lot. He didn't say anything though, until he saw them. Dark, angry welts on her back, lines and patches of red and purple bruises.

"I bumped into a table," she'd justify.

"I clipped it in the door," she'd explain.

"I tripped down the stairs," she'd excuse.

But he didn't take any of it.

And when he finally made her look at him, she'd broken down, crying. He'd held her of course, cradling her to his chest as he soothed her.

"Who Jade? Who did this to you?" he asked. His voice sounded even, but Jade could sense his anger beneath the surface. His hands was tensed, aching with the need to murder the person who'd been hurting his Jade. There was a long contemplative silence, as Jade worked up the courage to answer. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, muffled against his shirt. The answer was so shocking that at first he thought he'd heard her wrong.

"My father, it was my father."

He'd frozen, not knowing what to do, unable to form a single coherent sentence in his mind. He'd been expecting another student, a neighbor, someone she thought was her friend, certainly not… family. But why? Why would any father do such a thing?

"He's an alcoholic," she told him, "Smokes pot too, amongst other things," she

Then suddenly the rage returned. How could Jade have had this kind of upbringing? He struggled to think how her childhood might have been. He'd wanted to confront Mr. West, to demand an explanation and an apology. But she'd talked him out of it. She told him it hardly ever happened, that she could take care of herself. He didn't quite believe it, but Jade went crazy. She absolutely wouldn't allow him to meet her father. She was right too. There were no more incidents like this for more than a year, and by that time with all the Tori drama, this issue was pushed to the back of their minds. At least until last week.

Beck sighed as he continued to observe his angel. He couldn't believe what he was going to do. After everything she was going through, he wondered how she would take it. Whether she would even make it. His arms tightened convulsively around her at the thought of hurting her. But he had to do it, what were the other options? Betraying her trust? Especially after what Jade had told him today. He couldn't. He couldn't betray her secrets. He'd find a way, he had to.

Jade's POV:

Thank God for public holidays. I'm not really sure what today is though… Labor Day? Martin Luther Kings Day? The 4th of July? I don't really care, I can't even think straight right now. All I know is that Beck's holding me tight, and that's all that matters for now.

I turn my gaze up at him, but he doesn't seem to notice. His eyes stare out the windows, obviously deep in thought. It's only when I really turn to face him that he feels me moving against his body. He looks down at me and smiles.

"Hey baby," he says, smiling, but something is off. Even though he's smiling, his eyes remain cold and hard.

"Hey," I answer tentatively.

"You hungry?" he asks me, that fake smile still plastered on his face.

"A bit," I'm waiting for him to say it, to tell him what's bothering him.

"Let's go then shall we?" he asks, and a sudden fear shoots up at me. Why is he being so distant?

I follow him cautiously, not knowing what to expect. We get in his car and he drives off. For once he doesn't say anything. No teasing remarks, no playful comments. Just silence.

"We need to talk," he says softly. I draw in a sharp breath. Ah, those 4 dreaded words. And then I knew, something bad is going to happen. This was a turning point, and change wasn't something I could deal with right now.

I feel my body tensing and my breathing quicken, because I have a very bad feeling about this, about everything. I know why I haven't confronted it yet, why I haven't questioned him, asked him what's wrong. It's because I want to pretend nothing's wrong. He's just tired. I don't want to break this bubble of normalcy, because right now, I can still say everything is alright, everything will be alright. The moment I accept that something is wrong, the moment I acknowledge it… I'll break.

Beck's POV:

I could feel the tension in the car. I could see her starting the to break, and I knew it was because she knew.

I pull into a small café, one we've shared many mornings together, drinking coffee, chatting, bickering, laughing. The waitress recognizes us immediately and sits us in a small, private booth in the corner, our usual sitting arrangement, but this time, there's an unpleasant silence in the air that hasn't been there since the time I was trying to coax her secret out of her, the last time any of us had been keeping something from each other.

"2 espressos please," I tell the waitress. She doesn't even bother noting it down before scurrying away. I remember Jade telling me once she liked this café because the waitress never tried to 'get to know her' and didn't try to hit on anyone, well me in particular. It put a small smile on my face, remembering how cute she was when she got jealous. It never failed to amaze him how she could care so deeply for him, and be so possessive.

"Jade," I start, knowing that this will be hard. She turns away, staring intently at the table, trying to calm her ragged breathing. I put one hand on her cheek, "Jade, I"-

"Don't say it," she whispers. Her voice is soft, yet so firm. I can see her eyes growing hard in denial.

"Jade, I'm sorry, I-"

"I said don't say it!" she very nearly shouts. She takes a few deep breaths. "As long as you don't say it, it'll be okay." She murmured so softly as if she was just saying it to herself. "It'll all be okay, it'll be okay," she chanted to herself.

"Jade!" I exclaimed, trying to snap her out of it, she just shook her head. The coffee came, but it was left untouched.

"Jade, I love you," I say, and she finally looks up. "I'll always love you, more than you can possibly imagine," I add. She stays silent, waiting. I draw a deep breath, averting my eyes, hating myself for the words I know I have to speak next, "But I don't deserve you," I shudder, "I think we should take a break."

There's a long silence, and I don't dare look into her eyes. "Bullshit."

My head perks up at that unexpected response. Any trace of sorrow or desperation was long gone. Her voice rang loud and clear, and filled with rage.

"Did you hear me?" she asks, leaning in closer forcing me to look at her. Her eyes are half crazed, "Bullshit!" she exclaims loudly, banging the table. "You don't deserve me? _You_ don't deserve me?" she asks incredulously. "God Beck, do I look like I was born just yesterday? If you hate me, just say so!" she screams. We turn a couple of heads our way, but none of us really care.

"No," I say firmly, "I would never hate you, I could never hate you, even if I tried," It killed me that she even thought that.

"Did I say too much then? Yesterday? Was it more than you could handle?" she asks again, her voice sounds constricted and I know she's just that close from breaking down.

"God no, nothing you said would ever change the way I feel for you?" I say.

"Then WHY?" she screams again, and I glare at the waitress coming our way, effectively stopping her from interrupting us. The first tears have escaped from her eyes, slowly trailing down her cheek, and it takes all my willpower to not just sweep my thumb over them, wiping them away.

"I'm sorry," I say simply.

"No! You can't do this!" she exclaims again, the tears now really starting to flow. "You can't.. _leave_ without even giving me a damn reason!"

"I can't stand it!" I say finally.

"What Beck? WHAT CAN'T YOU STAND?" she yells, nearly knocking over her espresso, the now cold liquid, shaking violently in it's cup, like Jade was in her seat.

I call the waitress and ask for the bill, I shouldn't have done it in this café, it should have been more private.

"I can't stand watching you get hurt all the time and not being able to do anything about it," I say finally when we're back in the car.

"And _this_ is helping then?"

I have no answer to that and as the silence rolls on, she final sees it.

"You're really leaving me?" she whispered, her voice so pained it broke my heart.

"I'm sorry Jade."

**A/N: Don't hate me, I assure you this break up is only temporary. Well OBVIOUSLY right? And though you might be hating on Beck, don't. You'll see why next chapter, or maybe the one after:D **

**What are your thoughts? What do you think will happen next?**

**ReViEw PlEaSe:) thanks. I love u all. **


	11. Alone Again

**A/N: I told you not to hate on Beck! Well I guess it's inevitable as how he hurt our Jade, and this chapter will undoubtedly contributed to the already growing fuel of hatred. Oh well…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, sadly… I would love to torture Tori…make her pay for EVERYTHING she's done! Have I mentioned I share the same birthday as Victoria Justice? The fact that I discovered this only minutes after watching 'Prome' did not help add to my ever diminishing love for her. I mean how dare she freaking urghhh! *mutters incorrigibly***

_**Anyways**_**… Enjoy, and as always, review:) They make me smile. **

Chapter 11: Alone Again

Jade's POV:

I don't understand. Everything's so confusing. Nothing's making sense. Where am I? I open my eyes, and I am in a room. I am lying on a bed. But I don't know how I got there. I sit up slowly to look around. There's an organized desk at one side and a large window at the other. Thick plush drapes of blue hang down from the curtain, blocking my view from outside. The large closet lies at the end of room, it's door slightly ajar, it's contents nearly spilling out. Next to the closet is a mirror, full sized and bordered with a wooden frame. Photos stick out everywhere. Photos of me.

This is my room.

Of course, how had I not noticed before? But still, something was missing, a key element into understanding. Something's different, something's changed. Something is wrong. Ah! I smile, Beck will know. Beck always knows. I got up of bed. Where's Beck? Then with a start I realize. Silly me, he's not here, he's at the RV.

'Let's go then' a voice says out to me. And I agree with it, we should go. Nodding my head, I hear a whoosh and suddenly, like magic, I'm at Beck's. Relieved at being able to cut down what would have been a long drive, I race to his door, banging on it like I would on any other day.

I wait for him to open it, but he's taking so damn long. I can feel myself getting more and more mad by the second. I've already picked out the words I'll use to scold him for taking his own sweet time.

But he doesn't open it. I bang and I bang and I bang. But the door doesn't open. Furious and frustrated, I kick it, but he must have reinforced it or something, because it still wouldn't open.

'Maybe he's out,' I think to myself, but I know, I just know he's in there. He's in there _deliberately _not letting me in.

'He doesn't want you' the same voice calls out, and even though I know it's true, I can't help but call out his name.

"Beck?" I ask, against the door, hating how weak my voice sounds. Hating the desperation and the need.

There is an extended silence, and then I hear it. Just the softest of whispers, but so tender it was like he'd whispered it to my ear.

"I'm sorry Jade."

With a strangled cry, I'm wrenched back into my room, crying and sobbing and screaming.

I wake up in my room, crying and sobbing and screaming, because I know what's missing, what's changed, what's wrong.

He'd left me.

And now I'm breaking.

* * *

><p>Memories of yesterday come flooding right back in.<p>

We hadn't bothered talking much after the café fiasco. It was only back in the RV that things got nasty.

"What the hell are you doing Beck?" I screamed, throwing a book at him, narrowly missing his hips.

"Jade."

"How could you do this to me? HOW?" I shrieked, everything was so overwhelming. He just couldn't leave me, he _couldn't._

I wouldn't let him. Over _my dead body_ would I _ever_ allow him to leave my sight.

He didn't answer, he just sat there in his misery his whispers hardly audible: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so _so_ sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it," I exclaimed, "Sorry, will never cut it! Don't you see Beck? Can't you see what it's doing to me? Can't you understand-"

"I know!" he yelled, standing up, cutting me off. His mouth opened and closed, like he was debating in his mind what to say.

"Just say it!" I shouted.

"God damn it Jade! Why do you have to do this to me?" He said, his voice breaking a little at the end.

"What Beck? What am I doing?" He wasn't making any sense at all.

"Jade," he said slowly, "Just let me go."

"No," I croaked out. "No, no, no, no, no. I can't, I can't. "I shook my head, crumpling to the ground.

Finally, I understood, he didn't want me, he really didn't want me.

"Please Beck, _please_!" I was crying, I was falling apart in front of him, but for once, I swallowed my pride, discarded my ego. I just wanted him, _needed_ him.

And then he said the unspeakable, he did the unthinkable. He broke my heart further than I thought was ever possible. He didn't just stab me, he had to twist the knife.

"I'm going to date Tori Vega."

It was like a dam exploded inside of me, and the level of hurt finally hit it's breaking point, overflowing everywhere. My breath hitched, I couldn't swallow. Was this a freaking joke?

I looked up at him, his eyes were blank, devoid of any emotion. Empty.

Just like mine.

I raised my hand up, and the sound of my palm coming into contact with his cheek rang in the air, like an indicator of how shattered this relationship had become. The shock was clear in his eyes.

I slapped him.

He had no right to be hurting me like this.

I left.

I ran from him, to the only other place I could go: The house. It was no longer my home, that had changed the moment my mother had kicked me out. The realization of it hit me, I really had no one.

My parents hated me, Beck didn't want me. I started to laugh hysterically. I irony of it all, I'd always wanted to be left alone, at least not until Beck. He'd made me realize how desperately lonely I was, made me realize how much I wanted someone else, just someone to talk to, someone to hold me, someone to understand. He'd been that someone. He'd breached my defenses and made me open up completely, and despite the fact that it went against everything I'd believed in, he made me trust again.

And then he'd taken it all back. It was for people like him that I'd built those walls in the first place.

Now I was alone again.

Dejectedly, I walked back to my old home. I might not be welcomed, but the law entitled me a place to sleep. They would have to let me stay. Most of my clothes and other stuff was still at his RV, but I really couldn't care less right now. My hand still stung from the slap, but I wished I'd slapped him again, or kicked him, or something. I hated him, I hated him, I hated him. I hated him for causing what I was feeling now.

Yet, I still loved him.

* * *

><p>When I arrived 'home' my father laughed at me. "Finally realized you weren't worth it did he?" he cackled. "Or were you stupid enough to tell him everything?" The shock on my face answered his question. "I can't believe you were so foolish! Did you really think he loved you?" He kept laughing, each 'haha' like a slap to the face.<p>

It hurt.

It hurt so much more than him throwing me at a table or pushing me down the stairs. It hurt because he was right. Beck didn't love me. He didn't love me.

Somehow, I got myself up the stairs, falling onto my bed before the world started spinning, darkening, my father's laughter still ringing in my ears. I wondered if Beck was laughing at me now, telling everyone what a fool I was. I bet everyone was laughing at me now. Just like before… It was all happening again.

"_Oh my god, isn't that Jadelyn Woods? That girl that caused that car crash?" _

"_Yeah! I can't believe it, she actually has the guts to come to school. What a bitch."_

_So cruel!_

_So heartless!_

The voices of the students from other schools, the pieces of gossip overheard in the girls' bathroom.

"_Look at what she's wearing? Who does she think she is?"_

"_Jadelyn Woods? In Hollywood Arts? Pshhh Impossible! Who would want her?"_

"_I bet she just wants attention. What a drama queen."_

No one ever knew realized that someone in that last cubicle, hiding, holding her sobs in while silent tears streamed down her face as she listened to the whispered words of girls she thought she'd been friends with. No one had ever realized she'd heard it all.

Even at home she faced the endless insults.

"_Are you good for anything?"_

"_You insolent child!"_

"_You've told that pretty boyfriend of yours haven't you? I bet you go crying to him all the time!"_

"_You're the liar."_

"_GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"_

"_Where are you going? My _precious_ little Jadey."_

"Stop," I whispered, but they wouldn't stop, like there was someone digging through my mind, intentionally pulling out every single hurtful, painful memory, moment, conversation, bringing them to the front of my mind so I could relive it all.

"_I love you Jade,"_

"_I'll never leave you."_

"_It wouldn't change a thing about us."_

"_I'm sorry Jade."_

_Lies. _All lies, every kiss, every touch, every sweet moment they'd shared. It didn't mean anything to him. I let out a small sob of self-pity. Had he pitied me? Was that why he dated me? Dated me because I seemed different? Well, was too different for him to take obviously. A bitter, harsh laugh escaped my lips. Did it become too much for him? Or perhaps, had it simply been the time for me to be replaced? Like a toy that had gone out of season, that had broken and fell in a muddy puddle, only to be replaced by a newer, shinier model, Tori Vega. And with that, I let it all out, I let myself cry, hugging my pillow like a lifeline as I finally allowed myself to cry my heart out.

Why had I been so stupid? Hadn't life taught me that trust was only for fools and that true love didn't exist? Hadn't I learned the hard way what happened when you let your guard down? That everything only ever backfired in your face? So why? Why? Why did I let him break down my walls? Why?

"_Finally realized you weren't worth it did he?"_ The voice continued to taunt.

"_Did you really think he loved you?"_

"_You did."_ The voice answered for me.

"_Because you love him." _The voice in my head told me.

And then the sobs came down harder, each one wracking my already fragile frame. My tears soaked my pillow. But this time, there were no warm arms to hold me together. No welcoming chest for me to collapse into. No soothing voice telling me I was loved, that everything would be okay.

No.

There was nothing.

There was nobody.

I was alone.

**A/N: Poor Jade! After everything she's been through and Beck still… You know what, I'm not even going to bother telling you not to hate Beck, that would be near impossible now. Go ahead and rant it all… **

**Reviews make me type faster :DD **

**All of you with my story on your favorites or have my story on alert, don't think I don't know who you are…. Please review, I'd love to hear what you think of my story.**

**Thanks **


	12. As Planned

**A/N: I know! I know, it's been a while. But I swear it's not my fault this time. I had this written about 3-4 days after I posted the last one (very hard chapter 2 write btw, I needed to do Beck justice) and I knew it was very wrong of me to keep you hanging so I would have published it. And your reviews! 94? Was I dreaming? (important A/N at the end for my reviewers) **

_**Anyways**_**, I lost my internet connection, some stupid phone line got cut. And by the time it came back, I was flying back home. A veeerry long flight I assure you. I took off on Thursday and landed on Saturday. And then I fell asleep. Today is Sunday, and you're getting your chapter:) So enough of me. Here's your long awaited chapter **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. **

Chapter 12: As Planned.

Beck's POV:

The moment the door slammed, I wanted to run and open it. I wanted to reach for her and pull her back into my arms. But I couldn't. I damn well couldn't. And the helplessness just kept building. I let out a string of curses that my grandmother would probably faint at. I _hated_ not being able to do anything. I hated not being able to calm her when she cried. I really, _really_ hated it. I kicked the table in frustration. Actually frustrated would be an understatement. I was beyond pissed, I was furious.

At myself.

At the shit life that Jade had and that I had actually _contributed_ to it.

I punched down at the table, the sheer force causing it to crack. A sharp pain coming from my knuckles and my wrist told me they were fractured if not broken. But it was nothing compared to what I felt with what I did to Jade.

I slump down, leaning against the bed, finally allowing the tears to fall. I lean forward, holding my head in my hands. What had I done? What did I do to her? What do I do now? I let out a chuckle, dry and humorless. I was at a lost without her. How I ever survived before Hollywood Arts was beyond me. How I would survive without her now… I hadn't the first clue.

I wanted her back, and now. I wanted her sitting in my lap as I twirled my fingers around her locks. I wanted to watch as she drank her coffee every morning, and as the scowl slowly eased into a smile. I wanted to hear her sing, or just to hear her voice, her laughter. I wanted Jade.

It _hurt_ having her not around. I think a part of my soul died when she left, maybe even all of it.

I knew she didn't deserve that. At the very least, she deserved a proper explanation, something I was unable to give her. All I could do was apologize for something I knew I'd never be forgiven for. It was pathetic to say the least, and so was the feeble excuse I'd given her.

_"I can't stand watching you get hurt all the time and not being able to do anything about it,"_ I'd told her, though it was probably the closest thing to the truth I could have given her.

Then when I told her to let me go… God I was such an asshole.

I hadn't wanted to mention anything about Tori, but I knew it would help her save face later. It would mentally prepare her before it happened. But the hurt in her eyes when I'd said it… It completely shattered me.

My cheek still burned from the force of her slap, I knew I deserved it. Hell, I deserved to be slapped a hundred times, a thousand times, and then some. I knew it, but it still hurt. I wasn't expecting it, but I welcomed it. What a jerk I was. A shudder of self repulsion runs through me. I'd hurt her. After all my countless promises that I would protect her, that I would never leave her, I'd hurt her. I'd never forget that look on her face when I told her to let me go. It was like all the light had been sucked from her face. I think a part of my soul died when she left.

Had she really believed I didn't want her anymore? Couldn't she see how desperately I loved her? How it tore me apart to do what I had to do? Hasn't she seen me clenching my fists in attempt to stop my twitching fingers from wiping away her tears? My stiff pose, my entire being sucking up every last bit of my self-constraint to stop myself from pulling her into my arms and soothing her shaking frame? I never thought I could have done it.

No. After what I did to her, after what I'd said, anyone would be crazy to think I still loved her. But I did! How could I not! But now, she had every right to hate me, she had every right to ignore me for the rest of her life, to treat me like the jerk I am. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't. However she handled it, whatever she did, it wouldn't change a thing, I would still love her with all my heart, soul and mind.

My left hand left abandoned it's previous position cradling my head, to the hollow of my throat where our promise ring hung desolately. I fingered it gently, as I'd done so many other times, it brought a small smile to my face, remembering the happy moments we'd shared when we first bought those rings. It'd been her idea, the idea of belonging to someone else forever. The idea of the circle, never breaking, forever going round and round and round. My index finger traced the circle absentmindedly, remembering her smile the day he'd bought it for her, for them. Her smile reserved just for him and no one else, a trust she had in him.

A broken trust now.

And with that the first of the sobs began, clawing its way up, constricting his chest, choking his throat, as I wrapped my arms around myself trying to pull together.

Beck Oliver, you _will not _have hurt her in vain. You'd better do this and do this right. A voice suddenly screamed in my ear.

I had to get through this. Why was I crying? Why was I sobbing? I had absolutely _no right_ to be doing so. After all, it was _me_ who broke up with Jade, _me_ who caused upon us. It was all _my_ fault and I had no right to be wallowing in my own self-pity. No, my own pain didn't matter, not until I was sure Jade would be okay.

Slowly, I calmed myself down, steeling my mind to what ahead, and then I made the phone call.

Tori's POV:

I'd knew he'd call! I just knew it! I grin triumphly as the caller ID flashed on my pear phone.

'Beck Oliver'

"Hello?" I answer, my voice smug.

"It's Beck," he says in a hoarse voice.

"I know." I say happily, "So I'm guessing you broke up with your bitch of a girlfriend?" I say in the same light tone.

"Never, _ever _call her that. You, you're the one, you, are a horrible, disgusting, repulsive being, do you know that?" I clench my teeth, his words cut me deep, but I chose to ignore it. His voice sounded broken, so I was pretty sure he broke up with Jade. Yes, I admit to myself, he probably did have some feeling for her, but it will all change after a few days of dating me. He'll see what he's been missing all along. He has to.

"I'm guessing you've taken up my offer?" I ask in a light voice, not wanting to betray how hurt I felt.

"Offer," he scoffed. "More like blackmail you evil hag."

"You'd better watch what you say, if not the odd word or two might slip _my_ mouth as well," I smirk, loving having the upper hand.

"Do you even see what you're doing to her? Do you?" he screamed at me.

"I'm doing this _for_ her Beck. I'm _helping_ her." I nearly screamed back.

"You'd better. _You'd better_ keep to your word," he said in a threatening tone.

"Or what?"

"Or what?" he repeated me, incredulously. He laughed, but his laughter was cold, humourless. "I'll kill you," he answered without any hesitation, his voice deep and serious, with no sign of joking.

"Yeah right," I say back, but my voice sounds a bit weaker. "So you'll pick me up for school then?"

"Be outside by 7 sharp, I won't wait if you're late, not even for a minute," he replied coldly, and with that, the call ended.

I huffed upset with everything now.

I couldn't understand it. Not in the slightest, Beck could do _soo_ much better! What was wrong with him? I knew he knew that I like him, shouldn't that be enough? Ok, in all honesty, Jade is kind of pretty, and her singing is relatively good. But her attitude! If I was Beck, I would have dumped her a _long_ time ago. Hell, I'd never even have got with her in the first place. She didn't seem to suit him at _all_!

I groaned in frustration, couldn't Beck see the chemistry between us? It was insane that I'd actually had to resort to this to get to him. But it was ok, soon Beck would see what he'd been missing all along, me. Tori Vega. Besides, Jade deserved it, I mean she's been a bitch, so why not be a bitch back? Now she'd understand what it was like. She was lucky at it is, that I didn't just tell her secret to the world. She should be _thanking_ me even.

Yes, I though with a smug smile, everything would go as planned.

**A/N: Oh yes, and did I mention that I REALLY love u guys? 94 reviews? 94! *screams* let's make it a 3 digit number shall we? **

**Which brings me to the point, I haven't really replied to any of your reviews, and I really need to do that. But I feel that I should really have a shout out to some of you who's reviews really made my day:**

**First is definitely JuliaFoolia. You've been reading this from almost day 1! I love your enthusiasm! Whenever I see your name in my reviews it makes me smile:) thanks for sticking with me. You're the best! Keep reviewing!**

**Secretparamour, kikudog6, Serina Tsuki, aaef, you 4 are my faithful reviewers, Serina Tsuki also since my first chapter! aaef guess you were right! So were you lafalot22:) Keep reviewing, don't think I ignore you guys! You're all awesome **

**Badefinchelforever, you definitely raised my reviews. Almost every single chapter in a row! Also the only one to favorite author me tnx a lot for that, you made my day.**

**Yogabbagabba18, BadeObssesser, Andrea1301, XxScissorLuvxX, LilyJessMalfoy, TheGracie, my other loyal readers Thanks for reviewing! I love you all. **

**Franfranfrancesca you were the ONLY one to recognize my reference to 'It Can't Be True' from 13 in chapter 5. I was starting to think no one did. Luv ya, please review!**

**Riotstarter1214 you've done your share bit of reviewing too! Although, it **_**is**_** woods, she changed her name to West later to keep her identity hidden. **

**probieprincess your review really made me laugh! That idea did come to mind, but I decided against it, if Beck went to jail, there wouldn't be a sweet reunion now would there. **

**ellaishere I do have a youtube account in the same name actually, but I don't post videos, I just use it to like stuff and comment and subscribe. Review more pls! and thank q**

**Okay, I think that's enough for now, If I missed you out even if you've reviewed 10 times, I've read your reviews don't worry, I just missed you out. SORRY! Keep reviewing I'll get you eventually:) really LOVE reading your reviews. Seriously.**

**kimi.**


	13. A Fool For Believing

**A/N: APOLOGIES for the long wait! I have four simple words as explanation: school started naggy mother. Yes, sigh, everything is over...**

**Disclaimer: Victorious= not mine:(**

Chapter 13: A Fool For Believing

Jade's POV:

When I walked into school, everyone was whispering again. No doubt the word of our break up had been spread. It was the same old, same old jealousy feud to them. Because they didn't know, they didn't understand anything. They couldn't have known that this wasn't just some stupid fight over a petty argument. They couldn't have known this wasn't just another time where my over possessiveness was had blown over. No, they probably all thought it would all be over in less than a week and we'd have kissed and made up by Thursday. It certainly wasn't the first time this had happened anyway.

But I knew they were wrong this time. This time it was different, it was real. He. Was. _Gone_.

I guess I should have suspected the gossip... The silence I met when I walked into the room. I tried not to let it bother me, it never usually did. I was the master of ignorance, ignoring everyone, and just walking away, apathetic façade in use. But everything's just happening to fast! It was like the floodgates of hell had been opened wide, like the devil himself decided to pick on me. Everything just hit me at once.

And the memories, the past I'd so painstakingly hidden at the back of my mind had all escaped. Ever since Beck left, it's like I'm a different person, I was no longer Jade West anymore. I was the weird girl who's skin was too pale and who's face was too fat. Who walked with her head down and her shoulder stooped. Who never dared to meet anyone's eyes or speak up in public. The main target of the vicious gossip, the one everyone hated.

I was becoming Jade _Woods_.

And I _hated_ it.

I refused to allow myself to look weak no matter what shit I was going through. But it was hard. Harder than it had ever been. Everything hurt, all my limbs like they were made of iron. I was sure I was even paler than usual. And then there was that throbbing pain, an ache that just constantly coursed through me. An ache that could only be cured by him. Beck. Having his arms over me, our fingers intertwined, his soft lips locking with mine, moving in perfect synchronization. Seeing his warm brown eyes when I woke up, his never ending round of teasing me. The burning feeling when he pulled me towards him and I snuggled into his chest. When he creeps up behind me, his arms snaking around my waist, pressing a kiss behind my ears.

I _missed _him.

More than I thought possible.

More than I thought I could.

More than _anything_.

Just then I rounded one of the corners of our enormous school. There they were, the new 'it' couple. Beck and Tori. People were already talking about what a great couple they were and how Beck should have left me for her a long time ago.

They were sitting on one of the benches, they didn't see me at all. Beck's back was facing me. He was facing Tori who was too engrossed with him to even look away.

I should have wanted to leave, but I didn't. I couldn't help but just stare transfixed, my eyes were locked onto his every movement. Even if it was only his back, I recognized the simple gestures he did, running his hand through his hair, the way he's shake his head. I took in a sharp breath when I saw his hand idly fingering with his ring. Our ring. I'd forgotten about that. Absent mindedly, as if I was copying him, my hand reached up to my own ring hanging from my neck. I remembered the day we'd bought it.

"Hey look at these Beck!" We had been at a carnival a few towns away. I had seen a small little stall selling all kinds of accessories. "Look at these rings, they come in twos!" There were all sorts of them, some with words, "True Love" or "Forever Yours" or just plain "L O V E"ones with hearts.

"They're rings for couples," said the shopkeeper, smiling humbly. She was a woman with a large smile.

"Like promise rings," said Beck looking at me wryly, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Exactly like a promise ring," the shopkeeper answered.

I continued looking through the rows of rings, but nothing seemed to stand out. I sighed, another time I guess. I was about to turn away when Beck suddenly said, "What about this pair Jade," I turned to him, slightly surprised, I hadn't realized he'd been looking too. I took the ring he'd been looking at. It was simple, no words, no hearts, just two identical rings, it was a dark grey band. It was perfect. The words wouldn't suit us, no words could suit our relationship, many had already speculated, but none of them could really understand, and besides hearts were overrated.

I smiled up at him and that was all he needed.

"We'll take it," he told the shopkeeper before kissing my forehead tenderly, "I promise you, Jade West, that I'll _never_ stop loving you, with all my heart, mind and soul."

Just the memory alone was enough to crumble my mask. It was a tiny sob, but he seemed to have heard it, even across the hall. I saw his head perk up, he was still for a second, as if we were both holding our breath at the same time, and then slowly, ever so _slowly_, he turned around, meeting my gaze.

I swore his expression seemed pained, yet impossibly somehow, happy. I wondered how I looked like, disgusting probably, clammy, flustered and watery eyed, from the near breakdown. Now entire mind was screaming at me to move, but I couldn't respond. So we simply stared. If anyone was watching, they'd probably think we were playing the staring game, but this was so much more intense. The tension was almost tangible in the air.

"Beck."

As if breaking from a trance, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Both our heads snap to the source of the voice. Tori Vega.

I suddenly noticed I've been unconsciously walking to their table. I look at Beck and see that he's moved too, his body poised, as if about to get up. But before I can ponder about anything, Tori moves. It's so fast I can barely grasps what's happening, and she's kissing him, lip to lip, and by the looks of it, maybe even tongue to tongue.

It was unlike anything I could have imagined. It was like a slap in the face, and at the same time someone was stabbing you in the stomach. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move.

Something had shattered.

I didn't think I had anymore of me that hadn't already been wrenched apart, but I guess life wasn't content with just tearing me in 2, no that wasn't quite enough, it wouldn't stop until I'd been ripped into a million pieces, forever unable to be put back together again.

I couldn't tear my gaze away from them. Her hands wound through his long hair and around his neck. His were both on her shoulders, griping them tightly. And then for the first time, I wished I was her.

I wished I was Tori Vega.

The girl who I'd called stupid and annoying on more than one occasion. The girl I'd constantly criticized. The girl who bothered me to no end. Yet now, she was the girl who had it all. She was the girl with Beck.

It was probably a few seconds, but it seemed like forever that I stood and watched them. From the corner of her eye, I saw Tori Vega look up at me. She smirked and then went back to Beck. My breath hitched, and finally, finally, I could turn away. I had been such a fool, such a stupid, foolish little girl. My father had been right.

No matter how much I missed him, it didn't matter, it wouldn't change a thing, because he didn't miss me at all.

I walked away, far more brisk than usual, I wasn't sure where my feet were taking me to. I just wanted to get away, I wanted to run and hide where no one would ever find me. My legs just kept moving and moving, soon we were outside the school. I couldn't think, my whole mind was in overdrive, there were too many thoughts, too many ideas for me to even keep up with them. Too many what ifs? and was it me? came up, over and over my mind replayed the scene in at the benches, until my head wanted to explode.

I had reached my car. I reached for my keys without any hesitation, if I was to leave, my car would be the best vehicle to use.

I hardly knew where I was driving to either, it was like someone else was controlling my body, but yet that someone else was still me. My hands seemed to be able to shift gears and put on the signal lights just fine, and my feet worked the pedal as well as they usually did. It was only when I turned into his street did I realize why the route had been so familiar.

Why? I asked myself, why was I constantly torturing myself like this? I was Jade West! I wasn't supposed to be like this. Like the last time, I found myself at the playground, swinging like I was still a child, as if the wind could sweep my tears away and my problems would fade with every sway. Instead my mind began to go through my memories, wondering where it had all gone wrong. It started at the beginning.

"_Hey, I'm Beck."_

"_And what do you want?" _

Had I been too rude, had Tori been right all along? But what else, what made him go?

Swing.

"_What the hell Beck,"_

"_What?"_

"_I saw the way you were looking at her!" _

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Forget it, we're over."_

_He knew I hadn't meant it, I'd _never_ meant it._

Swing.

"_I love you Jade,"_

"_Love you too Beck,"_

Swing.

"_I can't believe you_ kissed_ her!"_

"_You're the one who poured coffee on her!"_

"_You're seriously blaming me?"_

Had their relationship already started there, was it all _lies_ from then on?

Swing.

Swing.

Swing. Swing. Swing.

Beck. Beck. Beck.

God I was such a fool.

A fool for believing.

**A/N: Don't worry, the depression will let up the next chapter.. ISH... ok in a few chapters.. hehe**

**luv ya guys! REVIEW! AND THANKS:)**


	14. Unwilling

**A/N: SORRY! Please don't hate me. I know it's been a while… okay a long while… a very long while… Urgh, okok excuses later, I know you're all dying for this chapter. It's in Beck's POV finally:)**

Chapter 14: Unwilling

Beck's POV:

My fingers drummed irritably on the dashboard as I tuned out the mind-numbing drone of Tori Vega's voice. It was just my bad luck that I ran into every single red light on the way to school, with Vega no less. It's true, I've driven with her a couple of times when she needed a lift, but it had never felt like this. It felt so tense and even my vision seemed to be blinking. My whole body seemed to ache like I'd just ran a million marathons. Every breath felt like I was swallowing in pins. I couldn't take it.

I was _suffocating_.

My jaw was clenched, eyes staring straight ahead. My fingers curled around the wheel so tightly, that my knuckles had turned white and when the lights _finally_ turned green, I stepped on the gas so hard even Tori snapped out of her mindless chatter.

"Beck!" she cried out. "Beck! What are you doing?" I didn't answer, I couldn't answer. "Slow down!"

I screeched to a stop in front of the school, breathing heavily. "Get out," I said between gritted teeth. She looked as if she was about to say something more, but one look from me and she was silenced. Biting her lip, she left the car, finally leaving me alone.

I wondered how I would survive the agreement. I could barely last a day without Jade. But in the end, it would be worth it, right? It had to be worth it. It had to be worth this anguish. If it was for Jade everything would be worth it. _Anything_ would be worth it. With that thought in mind, I got out of the car.

Walking through the gates of the school, it was like the first time we'd ever broken up. The quick turning of heads, the avoidance of eyes. I shook my head irritably at them. They seemed like children, always misjudging, never really understanding. I closed my eyes briefly, and told myself to get on with it. Even if it was all an act, it had to be convincing. I walked quickly to my locker, taking out my books and making a mental note of not looking at where Jade's locker was, it would crumble my already broken self, and that was not for public viewing.

Andrefound me first.

"Dude, you all right?" he said with a concerned look when he found me with my head in my hands, breathing heavily at the end of a deserted corridor. I heard his footsteps as he got closer and closer, finally crouching down to my level. I wondered what I looked like to him, deranged maybe? Hmph, that was probably an understatement.

"What do you think?" I answered, I almost apologized for my bitter tone, but I realized I didn't really care.

"You've definitely been better," he said, bringing a small smile to my lips. That was certainly a nice way of putting it. Then immediately, I could picture Jade's response, frank and honest, not a sliver of hesitation: "You look like shit." I winced mentally. I sighed, finally looking up at him. When he realized I wasn't going to reply, he went on.

"What are you doing with yourself Beck? You blew off your first 3 periods, and so did Jade!" The sound of her name was like an electric shock, filling me with pain and warmth at the same time. Then I realized, Jade didn't go to class either? Oh God, the frustration and the anger hit me again, how could I have been the cause of her suffering?

"Tori been worried sick," he continued on, her name had the opposite effect. It was like being doused in cold water, washing whatever warmth I had before. I suddenly glared at Andre, how could he not realize what a sadistic bitch Tori really was. Was everyone really so blind? She deserved to worry!

"Dude, chill!" exclaimed Andre. I lowered my gaze again, sighing in exasperation.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, my voice sounded dead.

"Just go find Tori!"

I bit my lip in attempt to stop myself from screaming. Grudgingly, I lifted myself off the ground and slung my bag over my shoulder, but before I even lift a foot, she comes running towards me.

Joy.

"Oh God Beck! Where have you been?" she says, before dragging me away. I gave Andre a look that said SAVE ME, but he must have missed it, seeing as he just walked with us happily, before turning to his own class.

"So, what do you want?" I asked Tori, a came to a stop at the benches.

"What do you mean? I'm your girlfriend now remember?" she said, her voice only slightly annoyed. I sighed. " Tori," I started.

"Do I need to have a reason to want to see you?" she interrupted.

"Tori, do we really have to do this?" I ask calmly. "We both know it won't work."

Immediately, she glared at me. "Beck Oliver, we had an agreement, and I do believe breaking it has its consequences," she said between gritted teeth. "Or do I need to remind you?" she said, raising her eyebrow.

"Hmph," I snorted, "As if I could forget, they haunt me in my every nightmare." I said, as Our minds both went back to that fa†ed day.

~~~3 days ago. (After Jade's dad came to see her in school)~~~

"Have you seen Tori?" I asked around.

"No."

"Nope."

"Not since lunch."

I groaned loudly and ran my hand through my hair. Damn it! Where was she? Jade was in the car, and I was almost 100% sure that she was crying, yet here I was, not with her. I racked my mind, debating. Tori wouldn't just tell everyone about Jade would she? Okay, so she and Jade didn't have the best of relationships, but Tori wasn't _that _bad. She couldn't be. With a resigned sigh, I made my way back through the corridor and the hallways back to the carpark, but she was there waiting for me. Leaning at one of the lockers near the entrance.

"Tori," I called out.

"Beck, I was waiting for you," she answered, but her face was happy, almost sly. Immediately I was on guard.

"Listen, what you saw in the parking lot today-"

"Beck," she interrupted, the smile still plastered on her face.

"What?"

"Let's go out!" she grinned at me.

"What?" I asked again, this time incredulously.

"You know, I'll be your girlfriend, you'll be my boyfriend and we go to the movies and stuff," she continued on. What the hell the hell was she talking about?

"I already have a girlfriend," I narrowed my eyes.

"So break up with her! She's not worth your time anyways. You could do so much better Beck, and you know it. So stop trying to deny that-"

"No, I'm not denying _anything_. You know I won't break up with her, much less to be with you."

This time _her_ eyes narrowed. "Yes I suppose, not, but how will she feel when you betray her? When you spill out all her darkest secrets that she's _trusted_ you with."

"What are you talking about?" I hissed, though I caught the hint fairly well.

"In the next few days, when everyone knows that Jade's father has a.. Well let's just say a bad habit of using his daughter as a punching bag. Who do you think she'll turn to? You?" she asked with a serious look on her face now.

"I'll always be there for her, you think I'd leave her now? When she's already this freakin' broken?" I slammed my hand against the lockers

"Don't kid yourself Beck," she took a step forward, her eyes flashing. "If rumors spread, all the evidence will point to you. Who else knew about her secret hmm?" she taunted.

"Jade knows I'd never do that. She _trusts_ me!"

"Get real Beck, just like how she trusted how you and Alyssa Vaughn were just friends? How you weren't flirting with all those other girls? How you weren't falling for me?"

"That's different." I growl.

"If rumors come out, how do you think she'd take it? Honestly. It would kill her and we both know it," she said, triumph.

"This is blackmail," I seethed, taking one step closer to Tori, the urge to slap her greater than ever.

"This is highschool, this is just gossip," she replied evenly.

"Give it up Tori!" I yelled exasperatedly. "You'll never be as good as she is. No one will ever be."

"So what are you going to do when the rumours spread on campus, huh?" she yelled back. "Just gonna let her fall deeper and deeper into that depression? Just gonna let her father continue on, doing whatever the hell he likes to her."

"What am I supposed to do? I'm just a minor! No one would believe us! And even if we win a court case, where the hell is she supposed to go? With me? No! God knows where she'll be sent to!"

"That's it? That's your argument? Your excuse for Jade's bruises and scars?" She paused for a minute setting it in, my expression must have satisfied her because she went on.

"You never know Beck, someday, it could all go wrong, maybe next time, a shove won't just be a shove, a kick won't just be a kick. Someday, something might happen, and it'll all be too late," she continued.

"Stop it! Stop it!" I exclaimed putting my hands to my ears even though I knew it wouldn't make a difference.

"Someday, he might actually kill her, and it will be your fault." my heart stopped. "All because you were too much of a ass to do anything!"

"God, no." I whispered, the fight all leaving my body. I slid down against the lockers, putting my head in between my knees, trying to remember how to breath. What she said was exactly what I feared the most. It was my deepest nightmare, played out into words right before me.

It scared me to shit.

"I can stop it all, before anything happens," she said softer this time. I froze, trying to process the significance of what she said.

"What do you mean?" my voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

"My father knows someone, he's a cop remember? She deals with people who have abusive families. She can help Jade."

Slowly I looked up. My mind was in chaos, all I could think of was how I could help Jade. I couldn't think straight. Jade needed the protection. But to leave her? Was that even humanely possible? I didn't think that I could do it. To say the words. My mind couldn't conjure the possibility of a world without her.

Tori seemed to understand, or either that, she was just in a rush. "I'll let you think about it," she said, before walking off.

"Wait."

She turned, "I'll have to go out with you?" I asked.

"Willingly," she answered.

"Why are you doing this Tori?"

"Because, I love you," she stated, "I want you."

~~~ end of recollection~~~

"So where should we go after school today?" she said, changing the subject.

"Wherever," I answered, running a hand through my hair.

"Oh great, what's she doing here," Tori muttered suddenly.

"Who, Jade?" my head perked up, my fingers instinctively twirled around my necklace, reminding me that I'd still hadn't gained the will to take it off. At the same time, I heard a small sob that I could have recognized anywhere. A sob that hit straight to my heart.

Jade.

My head turned on its own accord, and there she was. It was like I hadn't seen her in ages. I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, I was just drinking in her image, trying to save it all up for later. Her eyes were slightly puffy, as if she hadn't slept all night, as if she'd cried for long hours. Hours that I didn't occupy anymore. I'd always loved her eyes, cold as ice when she was pissed, yet soft as the sky when she was with me.

We locked our gaze, and for the first time in a long time, I could breathe. Freely. Without that pang of longing and hurt. Just being in her presence was enough..

"Beck," she ruined it. I startled, as I realize I was nearly out of my seat. My heart couldn't help but jump at the fact that Jade had taken a few steps closer as well.

Then Tori reached for me, grabbing my arm and pulling me down before kissing me.

I pulled away immediately, but the grip she had on my neck was too strong, I could just only pull out so that our lips weren't touching.

"Willingly," she whispered so softly that if my face hadn't been an inch from hers, I wouldn't have heard her. I froze, and my arm stopped pushing her shoulder. Taking this opportunity she pushed her lips back on mine. This time I let it stay there, praying with all my might, that Jade would turn around immediately. That she wouldn't have to see this. God only knew what I would have done to any guy who'd kissed my Jade.

Satisfied, she finally pulled away with a sly smile on her face, and immediately, I knew Jade had left. Without thinking, I got out of my seat.

I had to find her.

Turning to the hall, I suddenly saw her. Rushing across the corridor, her beautiful brown locks flowing past her blue extensions and all, her pale face hard, and at the same time stunning, like an ice princess, that only I could melt, or at least, I could a few days ago.

As if I was possessed, I ran after her, turning around the corridor, not really seeing any of the consequences. She got into her car and I tailed her, not really caring if she saw me or not.

She finally stopped at my street, but she didn't turn onto my driveway, instead she drove past it, to the playground. Stopping my car further behind, I got out, and as if transfixed, I watched as she sat on the swings, swinging. My eyes following her every movement.

It was at least an hour later that she finally got up, and walked back to her car. I waited, for her to get in, to start the car, to leave, so that I too could go. But no one came. I felt a deep sinking feeling, like my guts had turned to ice.

Something was wrong.

I got out of the car, running to her. There she lay on the sidewalk, paler than ever.

She'd collapsed.

**A/N: Okay my big excuse: I had a piano exam, sigh… But now it's over, so things should pick up. **_**Should**_**. No promises, but I'll try to speed it up. Don't worry I definitely will finish this story, even if it takes to 10 YEARS! I'm kidding it won't take that long. **

**Yes so it's a clifthanger. I do love clifthangers. They get me more reviews, which I do love:D and you finally know exactly why Beck left Jade. I think this is a good enough reason to stop hating him. What do you think?**

**Review to find out what happens to Jade!**


	15. The Damage Was Done

**A/N: Was this too long a wait? Oh well, it's not my best chapter, because I was rushing to finish it. I'm going off for a 4 day camp this evening, so I wanted to post this before that. Love you guys!:D**

Chapter 15: The Damage Was Done.

_A flurry of activity began in the hospital as a young girl was wheeled in. Nurses quickly herd the new patient. _

"_Just fainted, cause unknown," said the paramedics. It was all they could have gathered from the young man who'd called them. He still hadn't left her side. They suspected he might be in shock, but the girl was their current priority._

_The usual shout out begins. Tests are conducted. _

"_Blood Pressure?" _

_Ridiculously high they soon realize._

"_Someone call Doctor Adams!" comes a shrill cry._

"_Vitals dropping!" another yells. _

_Quickly she is wheeled into the ER._

"_Excuse me sir, please let go of her," one of the older nurses urged the young man. _

_He didn't budge. _

"_Sir! I said let go!" she tried again._

"_Nurse, please escort this young gentleman out of the ER," the doctor said walking in, calmly assessing the situation. Orders are named, machines are rolled in. _

_Various drugs and needles are injected into the girl. An IV amongst other things. Slowly, the beeping of the machine slows._

"_Heart rate stabilized," the intern sighs in relief, after a while. _

"_BP, vitals all normal," another adds._

"_Good," the doctor states simply, relieved as well._

_Then he spots something that changes everything._

"_Contact this girl's family immediately!" he yells, half in rage half in disbelief as he finally noticed all the various bruises and contusions on her arms and legs. Gently he inspects them, and realizes their not weeks old. _

"_I want a full body examination done right now," he said before leaving the room to find the young man who'd accompanied this lady to the hospital. He suspected he might have the answers he was looking for_

* * *

><p>Beck's POV:<p>

This was too real.

I hadn't moved an inch since the doctor called me in. A panic attack. Combined with exhaustion, dehydration and stress. She probably hadn't slept or ate for days. He'd also seen the marks Jade's father had left on her.

"PTSD." He'd said.

"PTSD?" I'd answered, my voice weaker than I realized.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder." My heart sank.

I'd already known what PTSD had stood for, but having it really said to me just confirmed my fears. "We suspect Jade is a victim of physical abuse. Do you know anything about this?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

"Beck," he started, "May I call you Beck?" I nodded. He leaned back and continued, "If you do know anything, it would really benefit Jade. She needs psychiatric treatment."

Pshh, I swallow the urge to roll my eyes, like that would work. I stared straight back at this doctor. Wondering whether he knew, that it would take a hell lot of psychiatric treatment for her to even open up. Even Lane had given up at his first try. Jade wouldn't talk to just anyone. She didn't trust just anyone.

"Doctor Adam," I start, remembering the name the nurse had shouted out. "May I call you Doctor Adam?" I asked, imitating his opening statement.

"Sure," he replied. I'm tempted to throw back a witty remark, but first I have to know:

"Will she be okay?" I think for the first time, he sees the sincerity in my eyes, because he sighs before answering.

"For now, yes."

It was like a thick blanket had been lifted off my shoulders. She was okay. She was alive. Even if I never talked to her again, I'd get to see her face, her scowl, her smile, her laughter.

Doctor Adam went on with the symptoms and treatments, as I sat and listened.

"Panic attacks like these might happen again, she might have trouble breathing, and the experience itself is terrifying." Then he looked at me with a very serious expression, "I now ask you again, do you have any idea who Jade's abuser is?"

I knew the consequences of telling him. He would call someone in, have he or she talk with Jade. Give her the 'it's okay' talk and 'we just want to help you' lecture. The results were the all the same anyway, Jade would end up either killing her shrink or crying. Even if they did get her father to court, she would be taken away.

I might never see her again.

But she would be never be hurt again.

If this was the price I had to pay for her safety, I would take it.

"It was her father."

There is a long silence in the waiting room, until the doctor came around.

"Are you sure?" he asked. What do you think? I wanted to say, but instead I just answered. "Yes."

Things happened very quickly after that. He called in another nurse, who called in another doctor, which sat with him discussing Jade's future in hushed tones. They seemed to have forgotten about me.

"What's going to happen?" I interrupted suddenly. The new doctor, a psychiatrist I suspected jumped, obviously never noticing me in the first place.

"Well," she smoothened her skirt. "First I'll have a nice long talk with Jade and we'll-"

"That won't work," I said, interjecting suddenly. She gritted her teeth, and I was pretty sure she was underestimating Jade, overestimating herself. Then again, maybe I was just underestimating her. Who knew.

"She will open up Mr. Oliver, no matter how long it takes, weeks or months even." She answered in a slightly impatient tone.

"And what's going to happen in these months as you try to open her up? She's going to get hurt again!"

"I assure you, a restraining order would be filed is necessary," she said.

"Then where would she go?"

"We have many homes and facilities available for-"

"She won't like it there! She doesn't want to leave! She doesn't want _any_ publicity!" I nearly shouted.

There was a pause, as she smoothened invisible creases on her skirt again. Probably an excuse for thinking up a comeback.

"What I still don't understand is, how are you related to this young lady?" she said finally, looking at me expectant.

"I'm her bo-" I exclaimed loudly before realizing what I'd been about to say. "I'm her friend," I said finally.

"Well then, as her _friend_, don't you think you should have done something about this a long time ago?" she asked, I had a feeling she knew what I'd almost said out loud. "Do you have any idea how devastating PTSD can be? When your whole chest just seizes up and that feeling of fear just shrouds you and you just wanna scream but you can't. There's nothing you can do."

"I know! I _know_ God _damn_ it!" I yelled. She flinched at the inflection in my tone. "I know, but…" I took in a deep breath, "Where would she go?" I whispered.

Finally she understood. She knew I was certain of it. She knew I loved her.

* * *

><p>Cat's POV:<p>

The trill of my cellphone shook me from my daydream. I rolled over my large bed, smiling to myself as I did.

I looked at the caller ID. Ooh! It was Beck! Hurriedly, I answered. "Helloooo?" I sang out.

"H…hello?" he stuttered out. My mood plummeted, something had happened. "Cat?" he continued.

"What happened?" I cried. "You sound like a zombie!"

"I'm fine Cat, it's just, I'm at the hospital wi-"

"The hospital?" I shrieked. My chest seized up in worry, I got off the bed and started to pace.

"It's not me!" he said, and I could feel his franticness increase. "It's Jade."

The pieces fell into place. "Oh," was all I could mutter.

There was a eerie silence as we both waited for the question that was inevitably coming. "Was it her… her father?" I asked finally, my voice uncommonly soft and scared. There was a sharp intake of breath over the phone.

"Not exactly," he said. I waited for him to continue. "I followed her from school Cat," he admitted. "She, she…."

"She fainted." Then he took in a long breath. "I didn't know what to do Cat! She just wouldn't wake up, and she was shivering and trembling and screaming. God!" He blurted out. I knew from his tone that he was close to tears.

"How is she?" I asked again.

"The doctor said she has Post traumatic stress disorder. They want her to see a psychiatrist. But we both know that won't work, remember Lane?"

A giggle came to my throat despite the dark topic we were in.

"Yeah I remember," The memory sparked off another giggle, until I was really laughing. Jade had been caught skipping class in the Janitors one day and was sent off to Lane. I wasn't really sure what had happened in the room. All I knew was she had come out with her signature smirk and Lane had come out uncharacteristically flustered. Beck told me later that she'd cut up all his pillows and threw it in his face. Oh and his face after that talk. It so funny!

"Cat!" Beck called me, and I calmed myself down.

"Yeah?"

"I have to go now," he said unwillingly.

"Okay bye,"

"No! Not off the phone! I have to leave the hospital."

"Ohhh,"

"Could you.. come?" he asked, "I…I don't want her to wake up alone."

"Of course," my voice grim again. "Which hospital is it again?"

"I don't know, it's the one on King's Street," he replied.

"I know that one." I said reassuringly.

"Thanks Cat, a lot." He sighed.

There was another short silence before I spoke again.

"Why'd you leave her Beck?" I asked. He didn't answer, so I went on. "You still love her don't you? You said you'd love her forever!" I exclaimed. "And you don't really like Tori," I said quieter.

"Yeah. I do love her, and no, I definitely don't love Tori." He laughed humourlessly. "Cat, you don't really know what Tori's like do you? She's horrible Cat, selfish and despicable."

I was stunned for a while, Tori wasn't like that was she?

"She found out about Jade, and threatened to tell," he continued. "She promised me she'd help Jade, she said she knew someone. Someone that would help her."

"Poor Beck," I said without thinking. He laughed another harsh laugh. I didn't like that laugh, not at all.

"Don't pity me. I deserve more than just this. Just help me help Jade," he said.

"Okay, I'll come right over." I said, reaching over to grab my purse and wallet.

"Don't tell any of this to Jade kay?" I said.

"Why not? I'm sure if she understood-"

"No." he cut me off. "I've done enough damage already."

"Fine!" I huffed.

"Goodbye Cat," he said.

"Bye," I said resigned.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So how was it? I liked the beginning part the best. Everything after that came sentence by sentence. This was a tough chapter:P I'm sorry of I got any of the facts wrong for PTSD or if you don't think doctors act that way or whatever. ARTISTIC LICENCE! But really, all the info I have on PTSD came from a 10 minute research on the internet, and the beginning part consisted of my background knowledge after watching too many dramas:) **

**Okay I'll try to update soon, but I'm going off to camp so yeah…**

**I'll miss you!**

**REVIEWS PLEASE! And tnx.**


	16. The Simple Truth

**A/N: Looong wait. Yeah I know, I'm sorry, I truly am. Lately there's just been**_** a lot **_**going on… I have 3 exams next week by the way. God help me… Well, shorter chapter than usual, but here we go!**

**Disclaimer: Forgot this on the last chapter. yeah you know the drill. It's not mine….. sighs… **

Chapter 16: The Simple Truth

Jade's POV:

I remember the panic, and then the terror, the sheer crippling terror that gripped me every night since he left. I remember clutching my head and leaning against the car. I wanted everything to stop, for everything thing to go away. I wanted everything, but yet I didn't want anything. No, that's wrong, there was something I wanted. MY mouth twisted into a wry smile. I wanted Beck.

At first I made myself ask whether I just wanted to be loved, but if that was the case, my 3rd grade teacher would have done the job. Then again, she never really loved me, or even adored me, what she felt for me was probably nothing more than pity, just like the rest of them. Beck was the only one who truly saw me for me, save for Cat, but she loved everyone, so did it really count? Beck had been mine, and only mine… and I had been his.

Now, what was I really? I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure of anything now without him. And I hated it. With a passion, I hated that vulnerability, that dependency. It was pathetic. It was humiliating. But it was the truth.

I wake up.

It's a hospital. For a few seconds, I wonder why I'm here. Then I realize, I don't really care. I rip off the IV in my arm, hardly feeling anything. I hop of the bed, noticing with little indifference that my clothes haven't been removed or changed. I walk out of the ward calmly, I recognize this feeling. I felt it not too long ago. That feeling of the in between. Conscious enough to understand what is happening, yet not enough to really care. Almost like a constant state of despondency.

I'm almost out the door, when I'm greeted by a friendly voice.

"Jade!" Cat calls out. I turn, "Cat," I say simply nodding.

"What happened?" she asked me, her voice filled with so much concern, I actually stop to think for a while. What did happen? I was at my car, I was at the playground near Beck's house, and then… My body chilled for a second as I remembered that fear.

"I..I don't know," I reply honestly. Cat frowns, biting her lip, looking down. I know this face. She'd keeping something from me…

"Maybe we can find out," a voice calls out from behind me, before I have anytime to investigate Cat's secret. I turn around to face a tall blonde man, who I presume is my doctor.

But I ask anyway, "Who are you?"

"I'm Doctor Adam," he said smiling.

Cat's POV:

We walk back to Jade's ward and I chatter on, trying to cheer her up.

"Hey Jade!" I perk up again, "Over the weekend, me and Tasha, you remember Tasha right? That tall girl with blue eyes? Straight hair? Always flips her hair like this?" I mimic her and giggle. "Anyways," I roll my eyes, "We watched this movie, though I can't quite remember the name, something to do with horses." I squint my eyes, trying to remember.

"Or boats." So far Jade is silent. "So," I go on. "The main character was a girl called Jade! Just like you! So when I was watching the movie I kept thinking, wouldn't it be cool if she also had a friend called Cat? Cuz then it would be like real life right? And then guess what?" I'm actually bouncing up and down now in excitement. I bite my lips when she still doesn't answer. I'm hoping for anything, a response. Even if it's "Cat just shut up!" but there's nothing. I swallow and decide to continue anyway.

"She had a cat!" I fake a smile and laugh, but Jade doesn't follow suit. "The cat wasn't called Cat though, it was Mittens of Muffin or something," I say in a quieter voice.

By now we've reached the ward and I'm sitting next to her bed. The doctor left a while ago, saying something about finding someone.

"Jade?" I call out, almost whispering. Finally she turns to me.

"Hmm?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad at you," she replies curtly.

"Then," I hesitate, "Are you mad at Beck?"

For a second I can see her cold façade falter. Then it's back. "I guess I was, but not anymore,"

"What do you mean?"

"I suppose I'm mad at myself," she sighs, I don't understand, but I let the matter drop. "Why are you here Cat?" she asks.

"Beck called me, he was the one who found you." I replied.

"He did, did he? Figures, I was at the playground near his house. Wonder why he bothered though," she sighs again sadly and I can't help but spurt out what I say next.

"Because he loves you!" Then I gasp and cover my mouth and remembering my promise with Beck, I press my lips against each other.

Jade is still for a long while, but then she just shakes her head. I bite my lips to keep myself from arguing.

"Jade, do you still love Beck?" I whisper out, before covering my mouth.

She is silent again. "Yeah," she replies finally.

The doctor returns, with someone else, a lady wearing a black skirt and the same white coat. Another doctor.

"Hello Jade," she smiles warmly. "Do you remember how you came here?"

"By cab?" she rolls her eyes, staring pointedly at the new doctor.

She goes on regardless, "A young man, Beck Oliver carried you in, do you know him." My eyes travel back and forth between the two. Jade's eyes narrow.

"Who are you?" she asks, but it comes out sounding like an accusation.

"I'm Doctor Stevenson, but you can call me Lily."

"_Who are you?"_ Jade asks again, sitting up in her bed, her body poised for as if ready to spring at her. I bite my lip again, anxiously hoping that the doctor wouldn't do anything more to aggravate Jade, but if she felt intimidated by her body language, she hid it well.

"Calm down Jade, I'm here to help," she tries smiling again.

"What do you want?" Jade asks again.

"I just want to talk to you!" Lily's face turns concerned and pitiful, and then Jade withdraws, leaning back again, her eyes cold.

"I don't need your help."

"I just-"

"Go away," I speak up suddenly, "Jade doesn't want you here." There was a stunned silence, before Jade smiled.

"You heard the girl," she said smirking, "Skedaddle."

Lily's face turned red. "Jade, we have to talk about your father!" she said. Like the calm before the storm, there is a tense pause.

Then all hell breaks lose.

"What do you know?" Jade's eyes flashes, but before anyone had a chance to answer, she starts again. "How do you know? Who told you? What do you want? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? HUH?" Her voice grows higher and louder panic clearly etched in those words. Both doctors rush towards her, "Get away, I SAID GET AWAY!" she shrieked.

And then she starts to scream.

Piercing, sharp and loud, over and over again. Her hands go over her head as she cringes into a ball on her bed, still screaming.

Things happen very fast after that. The nurses all come running, and Doctor Adam and Doctor Stevenson mutter something soft and low, they call a nurse who scampers away and comes back with a tray of needles.

"No! What are you doing?" I yelp. "You call yourselves doctors and all you're doing is just drugging people?" I scream incredulously.

"Nurse get this girl out of the room," Doctor Stevenson says to a nurse who nods.

"You can't do this!" I yell, fighting the arms around me, but as the needle plunges into my best friend, the screams turn into a quiet whimper and a silent sobbing.

Then I start to cry, because she's hurting in ways I can't possibly mend. My best friend is hurting, and I can't do anything.

Jade's POV:

Where's Beck? Where's Beck? WHERE'S BECK?

I need him! God, _I need him_.

I scream and scream, because I'm trapped, forever in this endless black, and I need him to drag me out of here. I need him now.

Then suddenly, everything dims. I can faintly hear Cat's screams in the background before it all goes dark.

Beck's POV:

"Hurry up and do it," I said coldly, not even bothering to face her.

"What the hell Beck, It's only the first day, you've been acting like a complete ass, you've refused to kiss me, and you just ditched me right in the middle of the school day. And _now_ you want _me_ to do _my_ part?" Tori raised her eyebrows.

"Do it before I change my mind and tell myself this whole arrangement was just waste of my time and effort."

She looked furious, biting her lips and tapping her foot expectantly, looking across the parking lot and crossing her arms. As if she was at all intimidating. After Jade she should have realized I'd have been immune to all this by now. God, even the thought of her brought a dull aching need to my chest. Even though I'd seen her less than an hour ago, I missed her already. I wanted, no. I _needed_ her in my life. How could Tori not see that? How could she _possibly_ claim to love me when all she was doing was putting me through this _torture_?

I sighed in anger, my fingers curling into a fist. "It's hard Tori," I said, surprised at how shaky my voice sounded. "You have no idea how _hard _it is! Knowing what she's going through and knowing it's my fault." I take in a deep, shuddering breath. "You said she'd be okay right? That with some consent or whatever she'd even be able to stay with me. Or at Cat, because I doubt she'll forgive me. You said so. You did." I babbled on, like a child grasping at the last strings weakening strings of hope, the only thing keeping him from falling.

Now I looked at her, "So do it."

She glared at me for a long while, actually we both glared, until she grinded her teeth and let out a scream of frustration.

"Why? Goddammit!" she cried out, throwing her arms in the air and stamping her feet. "Why? Why her? How?" she went on, her voice becoming more and more constricted. Had a feeling she was close to tears.

"Why what?"

She turned to face me, her watery eyes staring at me as if I held all the secrets to the universe. "Why the hell do you love her?"

At this, I finally smiled.

"I think the real question is, why the _hell_ not?"

**A/N: On the brighter side, cuz I know these chapters have been excessively depressing, it's killing me too. Yes they are coming back together soon! Patience is a virtue! Also, this question or topic rather has been on my mind a lot lately… **

**Does a man who fights for his love prove that he loves her more? Or does a man who'd rather let her go, because he believes she can do better than him, and she is better off without him prove his love more?**

**REVIEW! PLEASE! And thank you **

**kimi3 OH ps: how am I doing with Cat's character? Is it okay? Too bubbly? Too un-bubbly? REVIEWS make me type faster:D**


	17. Another Heartbreak

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! Remember when I said I had 3 tests last, last week? Well change that to 4. History Pop Quiz! Plus history essay! Plus English essay! Plus Chinese book report! I know right? Lovely! I have a delightful teachers… blame then for the delay-.- Also I realized the ending for the last chapter is very similar to that of another story.. 'Why Do You Like Her?' by August Jade. A very nice one-shot to read if you haven't already:) I'd just like to say I didn't copy her ending. It was accidentally kinda-ish the same… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.**

Chapter 17: Another Heartbreak

Tori's POV:

"I think the real question is, why the _hell_ not?"

The gentlest of smiles could be seen on his face. The kind that you pictured on angels smiling down from the heavens. Yeah that times about… 1000? Then _maybe_ you'd get there. His eyes were the warmest brown, just melting me to the core. The love in there shone bright and clear, the affection sweeter than any of Cat's brownies combined.

It broke my heart.

Because I wasn't the source of that love.

It was Jade.

It was always, _always_ Jade! And for the life of me, I couldn't decipher it. She was cruel! She was mean! Jade was like the epitome of negativity! The queen of bitches! The weird one, the disgusting one, the mean one, the-

"The bad one," interrupted Beck, his eyes gone cold again, making me realize I'd said all that aloud. Shit! I swore mentally.

"But, you're wrong," he continued on, "Why can't you see that?" He exhaled in a rush. "Why can't _anyone_ see that?" he yelled.

"She's _beautiful_," And the look was back. "She's the most beautiful thing that my eyes have ever laid eyes on! No one could ever even _begin_ to compare with her." He gave out a low chuckle, as if laughing at the fact that anyone could even try to compete with her.

"She's the most the most outrageously confident person I've ever met, and she refuses to give up on anything. She's crazy, in the best way possible, and her voice-" he paused closing and opening his eyes briefly. "How could anyone who heard that voice not fall in love with her? The power that she can command, the way she's just the best of the best as if nothing can pull her down." He took a deep breath.

"Yes, she can be a bit much sometimes, yes, she can seem insensitive and rude. But at least she isn't afraid of what to say, even if it might not be the best thing. And if you get past her outer shell, she's just like anyone else, she's scared. She knows first hand, the horrors of the world and the darkness of humanity, yet she fights on, living everyday headfirst and fearless. That's just who she is, Jade West, Jade Woods it doesn't matter."

"Yes, I know, we still fight," he smiled, "She's possessive, to the point where it's unreasonable, so unreasonable that I feel like screaming in her face, but not because she's annoying me. Not because it's a bother, God no…" he shook his head. "It's because after everything we've been through, after the thousands of times I've told her I loved her, after the millions of promises I've made, she still doesn't believe it." Then he looked at me, and his eyes are just sad, no, understatement, agonized.

"I guess I can't blame her now can I?" he said his words so sharp and harsh, I took a step backwards. But he just looked away, staring into space. "Because I've broken _every single_ one of them. She's gonna think it was all a lie, a show I put up, that I _used_ her." He spit that word out of his mouth like it was the worst thing he'd ever tasted. I can't even imagine what I made her go through." He said, his voice close to breaking. "It's all faded to useless words, and I doubt she'll ever realize that I really meant it when I told her I loved her, every single time. I meant it when I said I'd protect her, that I'd never love another as much as I did to her." He let his head tip back, and closed his eyes sighing. "I bet she hated me, at least for a while, but now, I doubt she even cares!" his voice finally broke, and his eyes started to water.

"I don't think she loves me anymore."

He tried to inhale, but it was all shuddery and shallow, and his breath was uneven, choking all the way up his airway. He just allowed himself to fall to the floor, head between his knees as he calmed himself down.

I wanted to reach out to him, I wanted to put my arms around him and tell him that Jade wasn't worth it, that he could be so much happier with me. But I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, the words just died at the tip of my tongue. I was stunned by his confession, it just wasn't right.

Then he spoke again, his voice so _sure_, yet so grief-stricken it pierced right through me, undeniable and pure.

"I love her."

I understood everything now, I understood what I was doing, and I understood what I had to do.

It didn't matter what I thought about Jade, it wouldn't have mattered if she was a fat old lady with cellulites hanging off her ass.

Beck loved her.

And I couldn't deny it.

Beck's POV:

Tori was just so _blind_.

I wanted to slap her, I wanted to kick her, throw her, hit her, push her, _something_! I wanted to tell her that she was _killing_ me. She couldn't even understand that. She was so lost in her own delusion that everyone in the world liked her. No amount of physical pain could shake her out of it.

So I talked to her, really talked to her, the way someone would speak to their diary. I delved into my memories, letting myself remember about Jade. I told her the simple truth. About me, about her, about my love for her. And her lack of love for me.

I know I nearly broke down, but I didn't cry, I refused to, how could I cry when everything was my fault in the first place? I wasn't a hypocrite.

I waited silently for her to answer. She seemed lost for words, like a fish out of water her mouth opening, then closing.

"Beck, I-" she finally started, but suddenly, I felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket. Tori could hear the low buzz too. I looked at the caller ID. Cat Valentine, my phone flashed at me. I frowned, wondering what this could be about, until I realized with a shock. Cat was at the hospital.

With Jade.

My fingers fumble clumsily as I answer the phone.

"Beck!" her voice was anguished. I froze, my mind immediately portraying my worst nightmare.

"Beck, it's Jade, they're so horrible! They're being so horrible. She was screaming, Beck!"

"I'm coming." I said immediately, sounding so much stronger than I felt. But there was no other option. I had to go. _Now._

I heard a sigh of relief from her end, disregarding Tori, I picked up my bag, racing to my car, sliding in and turning on the ignition in one swift motion. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear Tori's frantic calls for me, but it didn't matter. _Nothing_ mattered until I knew Jade was okay.

"What happened Cat?"

"The doctors knew about her dad, and the moment they said it she just lost it."

"They said it out loud?" I asked incredulous.

"Jade wasn't exactly being cooperative." Her voice was high and nervous, so unlike her usual bubbly persona.

I swore loudly, ignoring Cat's rapid intake of breath. I hardly swore and she knew it, I knew Jade didn't like it, it reminded her of her drunken father, "Define 'lost it'" I finally spoke.

"Oh God Beck… She was screaming and screaming and she just wouldn't stop, she wouldn't it anyone come near her, but they did anyway, and then they started injecting stuff into her, and then it was quiet. They aren't allowed to do that right?" her voice was frantic. "They're doctors! But they just made it worst. Now she's even being tied up to the bed, and they aren't allowing visitors to see her. What's wrong with them? How could they do that to her? Jade's-"

"What do you mean she was screaming?" I interrupted her, my voice so frantic. "Was she hurt? Why was she screaming? What did they do? I swear if they hurt her, I will-"

"They didn't hurt her!" she interjected. "She just couldn't take it anymore!"

"What _exactly_ did that doctor say?" I asked as I turned the wheel sharply, rapidly switching lanes, ignoring the horns and curses as I spun the car a full 180doing an illegal u-turn. I winced as I heard the squeak of the tires against the asphalt.

"She kept saying that she needed to talk to Jade, and Jade kept asking 'who are you'" she started, going into a lower voice range when she mimicked what Jade said. "But she never answered, until Jade was practically screaming at her and then she said we need to talk to you about her father. And then…" she paused.

"And then?" my voice as tense as hers.

"It was like something snapped in her! She was like: 'How do you know? What do you want?'"

"Goddammit!" I yelled, hitting the dashboard, breathing heavily.

"Beck," Cat continued on, almost tentatively.

"What? What else?"

"Jade, she… just before they sedated her, she… she screamed for you."

"Beck? Hello?"

I couldn't speak.

"Beck? Are you still there?"

I was holding onto the phone like a lifeline.

"I'm gonna hang up if you don't reply!" she cried over the phone, almost frantic.

"No don't." I said finally, my voice so soft, it was a miracle she could hear me.

"She told me she still loves you."

I'm sure she heard the catch in my throat.

"Really?" I asked, unable to keep the joy out of my voice. A flame of hope ignited in my heart.

"I told her you still loved her still, but she wouldn't believe me." she sighed sadly.

It flickered.

"Of course she wouldn't," I sighed like her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm pulling up Cat, talk to you soon," I said, avoiding her question as I hung up.

"I'm looking for Jade West?" I told the receptionist.

"Just a sec," she answered, tapping away on her desktop, "Jadelyn West?" she asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah," I tapped my foot impatiently.

"She's not seeing any visitors," she said, smiling politely.

"Did she tell you that? Or did Doctor Adams tell you to say that?" The pursing of her lips indicated that her patience was running low.

"Look here young man, I'm sure Doctor Adams has his own reas-"

"I just wanna see her! God! What is so wrong with that?" The receptionist, clenched her fist and took a deep breath, her eyes darted to the watch on her hand. I could almost hear the words in her head.

'Just 2 more hours of this shit, just 2 more hours, you can do this.'

"Young man, listen to me," she said, but I didn't have time to listen to her, I _needed_ to get to Jade.

"I don't care what you say, I'm still going to fuc-"

"BECK!" screamed the red head from across the foyer. My head swiveled around.

"Cat, I-"

"It's no use Beck, they won't let you and if you cause too much of a fuss they might kick you out! It happened to my brother before!" she exclaimed.

Mumbling something incomprehensible, I went and sat down with Cat.

Cat's POV:

I bit my lips and crossed my legs, rocking back and forth in one of the small plastic chairs in the waiting room. I uncrossed my legs, then looking at Beck, uncrossed it again.

He was tensed up, holding his face in his hand, elbows on his knees, staring into oblivion.

I sighed and uncrossed my legs again. We've been sitting here for 5 minutes, since I finally got him away from that evil receptionist. First he sighed frustratingly, cursing the receptionist with me. But I think he realized it wasn't exactly her fault, so he took it back. Then he sat in that position.

"What are you gonna do?" I'd asked him. At first he hadn't answered but after more pestering he gave me one glance, before staring back into the white corridors of the hospital.

"Shhh for a sec kay kitty Cat?" was all he said. He hadn't called my kitty Cat since the 3rd grade, so I figured I had to be serious.

I sighed again, crossing my legs, and stared out too, trying to see what Beck was thinking about, but it was just plain white walls, with a few health posters slapped here and there. I uncrossed my leg for like the 100th time. Staying still wasn't easy for me.

"Cat," he finally called out.

"Yes?"

"Do you know where Jade is?" he asked, not even bothering to look at me.

"Yeah, I visited her ward, they moved her to, they just wouldn't let me in. It's on the 2nd floor" I answered quietly.

"Then c'mon, let's go." He said, picking himself up and walking to the elevator. I followed him, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"But Beck-"

"Relax, I've got a plan."

A/N: sighs… I wonder if I'll even get 2 reviews for this chapter…

I'M SORRY! Really…

But please, review if you're still reading this, or if you just read this and you liked it.

I know Beck seemed a little rude, but I think we can easily say he's beyond sane by now… How's my Cat? Is she still true to character?

Anyways, some ppl liked the questions I've asked at the bottom of my A/N. So here's another one:

Which is worse? Saying something, and wishing you hadn't? Or not saying anything and wishing you had? This is a more common one. The last one was made up by me, but this one's been on facebook for a while…

So, please review! I hope this chapter made up for the long wait…

kimi3


	18. Picking Up the Pieces

**A/N: Oh god… hehe *chuckles nervously* sorry? Yeah, I know, sorry doesn't cut it. But I have to tell you… this was BY FAR- the hardest chapter to write in this entire freakin story. FOR ONCE writing my essay on Shakespeare was easier than this thing. I spent my term break re writing and adding and taking away and changing. So I hope the final outcome was worth it.**

**It's kinda confusing with all the POV changes, so I bolded and underlined them:)**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 18: Picking Up the Pieces<span>

**Beck's POV:**

"Is this it?" I asked Cat, we were across the hall from these two glass doors. 'Rooms 310-350' it said.

"Yup, see those nurses? They're the evil guards!" she pointed subtly at a pair of middle aged women, standing right inside the door, visible through the glass. "I tried sneaking past them once. I even yelled 'look it's a puppy!' at the other corridor. But all they did was shush me." Cat's babble rang in my ears.

"They shushed you?" I asked, the plan slowly forming in my mind.

"Yeah! They were like 'young lady, people are trying to sleep here, some of them are old enough to be your great grandma, have respect. These people are ill, and blah blah blah!'" mocked Cat, speaking in a lower pitch to imitate the nurses' accent.

I stared at the nurses, thinking, pondering. Then one of them looked at me. I turned back to the poster on the wall I was pretending to be interested in.

"Are there many nurses inside too?" I asked again.

"A few I think, but most of them will be in other rooms."

"Okay," I said slowly. "Okay, okay." I ushered Cat into another corridor, quickly pretending to cry over something when a doctor passed us both. It must have worked because he gave us some sympathetic looks. When he turned a corner, I began to tell Cat the plan.

"Remember the time when you really loved to yodel?" I asked her.

"Yeah!" she said, her eyes shining as she recalled it. "It was like, yoda lay-"

"Shh not yet, okay remember that time you loved singing opera stuff? Like uh … Sarah Brightman?" I hurried on

"Yeah! I love Sarah Brightman!" she enthused.

"Okay, and then that time you kept mimicking a sheep?"

"Oh yeah my baby sheep impersonation! Mma-" I clamped my hand over her mouth before she started to bleep.

"So, the plan is, for you to combine all of those together."

"Combine? I don't think that would sound very nice."

I smiled. "That's the point."

"Oh my God! So I'll like distract them right? This is so cool! I've always wanted to be the distraction!" she jumped up and down. "But, what are you gonna do then?" she asked, eyes wide.

"I'm gonna run in." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Do you know where it is?"

"No, I never got past the 2 nurses, but I think it's all connected through one corridor," she said.

"Good, let's do it. I'll wait here while you distract them. Run through the hospital if you need to. But try your best not to disturb any of the patients. Or doctors." I sighed biting my lips. I knew this wasn't the best of plans. Some of the people here really needed their peace. But right now, Jade was the only thing that mattered. I just hoped we wouldn't be too much of a distraction. I watched as Cat cleared her throat, doing a few voice exercises and taking deep breaths. Right before she turned to go, I caught her arm.

"Remember Cat, no matter what they say, don't stop singing."

She nodded. "I got it!"

"And Cat?" she looked back at me. "Thanks." She smiled.

"Just get her back, kay?"

"I will."

**Doctor Lily's (The Psychiatrist who brought up Jade's Dad.) POV:**

"How is she?" I asked one of the nurses.

"She woke up, but she won't eat anything." She replied.

I sighed, before getting in the room, taking a deep breath as I looked at the young lady before me. She was sitting on her bed, staring out the window. Her face as impassive as the first time I saw her.

"Jade? Jade, the nurses tell me you haven't been eating."

No response.

"Jade, you have to take in some food, it's good for you," I tried again.

"Jade, it's either this," I motioned to the tray of food the nurse brought in, "or an IV." I said.

I sighed again, pulling a chair and sitting down by her bed.

"Jade," I reached out for her, but she pulled back suddenly, looking at me like I was holding a hot poker.

"Jade? It's ok, I won't hurt you." I said gently, but her eyes just widened, her breathing rate increased, and sure enough when I looked at the heart rate monitor, it was beating faster than usual.

"Jade, I-"

"NO!" she cried out fast, getting off the bed and throwing a pillow at me.

"Jade, shhh it's ok!" I tried again, backing away. She crouched down to the ground, hugging her knees, moving her head from side to side.

"Jade?" I called out, slowly making my way towards her. Her jumping off the bed had pulled some wires and tubes off her. "Jadelyn?" I paused, "Jadey?" I tried again, hoping a more familiar name might strike a response.

At this, she went completely still.

Rigid.

She wasn't even breathing.

"Jade?" I asked, truly concerned this time.

"Jade!" I yelled out louder this time. And then she began to shake her head again, this time more vigorously, her breathing labored.

"No, no, no, no." I heard her whisper suddenly.

"Don't call her Jadey," a new voice came out of nowhere. I turned to the door. It was Beck, the guy that'd brought her here.

How the hell did he get in?

**Beck's POV:**

The plan turned out better than expected.

Soon after Cat began to yodel and bleep like a sheep, at an opera singer's pitch, (I had to respect her for that, not many people in the world could pull that off) the nurses both took off running, even bringing a few others from inside as well.

I sneaked in easily, the nurses' post was deserted. Now it was just her room I had to find. I wandered on from room to room, looking through the mini windows in the doors. I was nearing the end of a corridor, when I heard a sharp cry. "NO!"

It was Jade.

I followed her voice, like a string in the darkness.

Room 331-340. The corridor said. "Shh Jade, it's ok," I heard from outside.

"Jade? Jadelyn?" the unfamiliar voice went on, "Jadey?" I froze.

Frantically I went from window to window.

"Jade?" I looked to the left. Room 339.

"Jade!" I burst in.

**Jade's POV: **

It seemed like one big nightmare. From start to finish, words, lies, tricks and deceits.

"Jade, you've woken up, would you like a cup of water?"

"Jade, you still haven't touched your food?"

The voices went on and on, all the same things anyway. Eat, drink, sleep. Eat, drink, sleep. I couldn't see a point. I wondered again how life had turned out this way… I wondered whether it was still worth it.

"Jade?" I vaguely hear someone calling in the distance.

"Jade the nurses say you haven't been eating."

"It's either this or the IV,"

Go ahead stick it in me, I think to myself, but I'm too tired to say it. Too tired to care.

Jade, Jade, Jade. Jade this, Jade that. Why couldn't they leave me alone?

"Jade," she reached for me.

"NO!" I screamed before I could help myself. It was just my reaction to everything now. What was that woman trying to do to me anyway? Questions flood my mind. I feel like a paranoid old lady, stuck in a house filled with cats, unable to face the outside world. A feeling I hadn't felt since my father found out I pierced my nose, and I hid in my room for a week, after they'd snuck me out to the hospital and fixed my 2 broken ribs.

"I won't hurt you," The woman says again. I don't buy it, it's what _he_ always said before a beating. It's what they always say. Giving you an illusion of peace, and hope, before they break it all down for you. I've come to realize, without hope, it's easier when it's all over. If you were expecting it the whole time, and it happened, exactly as planned, nothing's wrong. And when it doesn't happen, it's an extra blessing.

But this time, I've had no time to plan. This time, I haven't been expecting it. Beck's been my hope the entire time. Somehow, he'll always come save me, my mind has been saying. Even when he's gone.

But I was wrong. No one's coming.

And I didn't know what to do.

"Jadey," the voice went. And I could feel my body slowly shutting down. There was no hope now.

"No, no, no, no," I whispered to myself. Get it done and over with.

"Jade," a voice called out. So sweet, so soft, I knew immediately the source of that noise.

Beck.

It couldn't be.

**Beck's POV:**

"Don't you dare call her Jadey." I said, disrupting the silence.

The doctor looked at me, furious, but I couldn't have cared less.

"How did you get in?" she questioned, nostrils flared.

"Don't you have more pressing issues right now?" I yelled back. We both turned back to her. Silently rocking herself. "Jade," I called out softly, before the doctor could say anything.

Slowly, _ever_ so slowly, her head lifted, and our eyes met. She hadn't cried, I knew immediately. Her mascara and eyeliner was just a tad bit smudged. She was distressed, a phase, I'd hardly ever seen her in.

She was scared.

"Jade?" I called out again, walking to her and crouching down, so that we were at eye level. Our eyes locked, and she stared at me, as if for the first time. She reached forwards towards me, like I was a mirage, and she needed to check whether I was really here. I caught her hand.

"Beck," she said finally, and I smiled. "Is it really you?" she whispered.

I nodded

Then she raised her other arm, and slapped me. Just like when we broke up.

"You two-faced, lying, cheating, hypocritical, egoistic, inconsiderate, selfish asshole!" she exclaimed, her voice only breaking at the end. Her eyes began to pool.

"How dare you come here? How dare you come just to find me like this? Weak and pathetic!" she spat. "After everything you did to me? After what you did? You're horrible!" she sobbed, "So horrible. You've put me through hell? You know that?"

"I know." I said, too ashamed to look at her.

"Then why the hell are you here Beck?" she asked. I sneaked a glance, she seemed so tired, her eyes watery, her hand holding her head up, her voice hoarse from screaming.

"Cat said you still loved me," I whispered.

"Cat says a lot of things, why would you belie- mmmmh!" I cut her off, kissing her.

"Was it true?" I asked, leaning back.

"What?" she responded, slightly dazed.

"What Cat said."

With that the tears that had pooled finally poured down her face, and she broke down, sobbing into my chest.

"Where were you?" she cried out between sobs. "I was so scared, I kept screaming for you but you never came." Her whole body was shaking, so I just held her tighter.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry." I stroked her hair, combing it out like I the way I always did. "I was stupid, and scared, and a complete and utter idiot. Okay? I'll never leave you again. I swear it, I _swear_ it Jade. So don't leave me either." I lifted up her chin and made her look me in the eye. "I love you, I always have." A sob came out of her that seemed half hysterical. Like someone trying to snorting incredulously when they were bawling their eyes out.

"Then why?" she looked up, "Why did you go in the first place?"

"It's a long story." I replied.

"Cut the bullshit Beck, I just wanna know!" she exclaimed loudly, pulling away from me abruptly.

"It was Tori!" a voice we both knew and loved exclaimed suddenly, reminding us of the other presences in the room.

Cat appeared to have been dragged in by the nurses, after they'd realized I'd snuck in here.

"Get off me," she exclaimed to one of the older nurses.

"Tara, let her go, it's fine." The doctor said from across the room addressing the nurse. "I've got it." She said, turning and looking me dead in the eye.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wanna know smt that ppl wld only know if they read my A/Ns? In the original chapter I wrote for this, jade was supposed to lose her memories. But I figured that would be a bit much… So FAREWELL to 1200++ words. Hello to blank document.**

**IMPORTANT THINGY: I really need to ask this, am I letting Beck get Jade too easily? Should I make him work a little harder? Or has it been worth it. **

**This time I REALLY need u guys to tell me how this chapter was for you. ESPECIALLY if u didn't particularly like it for any reason. Even if it was 'it just wasn't good enough' or 'it didn't go'. REVIEW!**

**And if you DID love it pls review, I know I take long to upload, but I really do love u guys. **

**Kimi3**

**Oh yes the question. Extra long one as a bribe. I actually love this question but it's kinda deep –ish…**

**Which matters more, achieving your goal? Or the way in which you achieved it?**

**Would it be worth it to achieve what you want through scheming methods or just sit back and do nothing?**

**What would you do, if the world was slowly suffering? What if saving it the right way would take forever, and wasn't even guaranteed? And the easy way was right there? But it involved danger?**


	19. In Denial

**A/N: hey so i know i made you wait... a lot. i know, and i'm sorry, so i'm not gonna rattle out my sorry excuse for being an annoying um.. thingy, so here's chapter 19:) finally...  
><strong>

Chapter 19: In Denial

_Previously in Jade's POV: _

_"Jade," a voice called out. So sweet, so soft, I knew immediately the source of that noise._

_Beck._

_It couldn't be._

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV:<strong>

I lifted my head slowly, I couldn't dare to believe what was in front of me, but it was him, the same brown eyes, the same Aladdin styled hair, the same mocha skin tone. He leaned down to my level, his eyes never leaving mine. My hand subconsciously reached for him, making sure he was really there and not just a hallucination. He caught my hand, and it was so warm, so, so warm. I tightened my hold on him without thinking, like my body was unwilling to give up the bond.

"Beck," I whispered finally. He smiled. "Is it really you?"

Then, he nodded, giving me his secret smile, the smile never seen by the public. Just me, only me, and suddenly emotion flooded right back into me.

I lifted my arm and slapped him with everything I had. I didn't feel any guilt whatsoever, he deserved that, and he knew it.

"You two-faced, lying, cheating, hypocritical, egoistic, inconsiderate, selfish asshole!" I exclaimed, throwing out every vile word I could think of. I felt humiliated.

Violated.

"How dare you come here? How dare you come just to find me like this? Weak and pathetic!" I spat. "After everything you did to me? After what you did? You're horrible!" I screamed at him, "So horrible. You've put me through hell? You know that?" I bit my lips trying hard not to let the tears flow. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

Who was he to play his games? Who was he to come and go as he pleased? Who was he to tempt and tease me with happiness and take it all away?

Who was he to watch me now, when I was _broken_, to witness all my flaws when he hadn't been there when I needed him the most?

"I know." He said simply, his head down. I sighed tiredly, I'd lost the fight in me. I just wanted everything to end.

"Then why the hell are you here Beck?" I asked, plopping down on the floor, holding my head up in my palm. He looked back up and caught my eye, an indescribable look of something in between desperation, hope and need. And when he finally spoke, what he said caught me completely by surprise.

"Cat said you still loved me."

It took me a few moments to figure out what he was implying.

"Cat says a lot of things," I started, "why would you belie- mmmmh!" My eyes widen as he closed the space between us, one hand twisting behind my back, the other snaking up to back of my head and leaned forward, and kissed me, a short tender kiss… but his lips were just the way I remembered.

And despite everything, despite _everything_… It still felt so_ right_.

"Was it true?" he asked, leaning back.

"What?" my mind was lost in turmoil.

"What Cat said."

Something in his voice finally broke the final wall that held up my emotions. The tears that had pooled finally poured down my face I couldn't help it anymore. I broke down, my body reaching for his as I sobbed into his chest.

"Where were you?" I cried out between sobs. "I was so scared, I kept screaming for you but you never came." The memory of that dark abyss I'd been in strayed into my mind and I shook even harder.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry." He stroked her hair trying to calm me, untangling my brown locks of hair "I was stupid, and scared, and a complete and utter idiot. Okay? I'll never leave you again. I swear it, I _swear_ it Jade. So don't leave me either." He told me. I shook my head skeptical, but he lifted up my chin and made me look him in the eye. "I love you, I always have." A sob came out of me that seemed half hysterical. Like someone trying to snorting incredulously while they were bawling their eyes out.

If he did why did he leave? If he did why the hell did he put me through all that shit in the first place? If he did why _why_ WHY did he date Tori? And if I knew this all, why was I still here? Why wasn't I screaming at him to leave? Why was I still tightly wrapped up in his arms? Why did his touch still set off sparks down my arm? Why did his warm eyes still melt my heart?

Why did I still love him?

And did he even love me?

"Then why?" I looked up finally. "Why did you go in the first place?"

"It's a long story." He replied, looking away suddenly.

"Cut the bullshit Beck, I just wanna know!" I exclaimed loudly, pulling away from him abruptly. After all this shit, did he really think he could just walk away? That he could smile and hold me and that made everything alright?

"It was Tori!" Cat interrupted my thoughts.

We turned sharply to her. She was at the door, the two annoying nurses gripping each of her arms. My mind was spinning. Tori? What the hell did Tori have anything to do with me? Wasn't she satisfied with making my school life incredibly annoying everyday? What did she do? What could she have done to shake Beck so badly?

"Get off me!" I heard Cat vaguely. "Tara let her go it's fine." I heard another voice call out. "I've got it." The voice continued, but it wasn't clear. Everything seemed so far away. My mind couldn't focus. I couldn't comprehend anything.

"Jade? Jade? Jade!" Beck's shaking brought me back to reality for a bit.

"How-" my voice faltered, "What did she do?"

Beck averted his eyes for a spilt second, hesitating. "She knew about you," he said finally.

And suddenly everything clicked into place.

That time when my concealer smudged and she gave me that weird look, I didn't think she bought my cheap excuse then, and now that I think about it, she must have wondered about it for a while. Then there was that time when I was waiting for Beck in the carpark and he was late. Everyone was out, except Beck… and Tori… And when Beck came out he seemed different. My eyes widened. The trip to that weird shopping mall, the outburst of love, the supermarket, was it all an act? An apology in advance?

No, no, no, no… How did she find out? The only people who knew was Cat, Beck and I. And Cat would never tell, she didn't even know the full details.. and Beck always promised he wouldn't tell a soul. But then again he also promised to never leave me. Was it him? He left me, but he wouldn't betray me like that, would he?

Would he?

_Would he?_

My memories raced back to the beginning of term.

…

"_I know what will make you feel better,"_

"_Jumping Jacks?"_

"_Kiss me."_

"_Little weird, but let's do it!"_

…

"_Why the hell would you kiss her?"_

"_It was just a scene!"_

"_Pshh you wanted to kiss her!"_

"_Jade give it up! I'm sorry okay?"_

…

"_Why are you always so mean to Tori?"_

"_Can't you see Beck? She's after you? She wants to break us up!"_

"_She's not! She's a nice girl! Much nicer than you at the moment."_

"_Why are you always defending her?"_

"_Why are you always against her?"_

…

"_Jade you have got to chill."_

"_What. So you don't care that Tori's going to ruin my play? All you care about is what she thinks now?"_

"_No, I'm just saying that being nice couldn't hurt."_

"_With Tori it's a different story."_

"_Fine, whatever you want, Jade."_

…

All those fights, all those arguments came flooding back in,

"_Dude! Why are you rubbing my boyfriend?"_

"_I.. I just.. I spilled coffee and uh.."_

"_Relax!"_

Had it began then?

"What are you saying?" I heard myself say, "No one knew except Cat and… you."

"Jade, I didn't tell her," he said simply, now looking me in the eye.

A week ago, I would have left it at that, Beck couldn't look me in the eye and lie so blatantly.

Now he'd lost my trust.

"Really?" my voice came out sharper than intended. "Just like you didn't mean to kiss her? Just like you were never supposed to leave me?" I bit my lip hard, to keep the tears from forming.

"You told her." I accused, feeling my whole body trembling.

"I didn't!" he exclaimed firmly. "She found out herself!" he said putting his hands on my shoulders.

I just shook my head.

"She saw you and your father, in the parking lot!"

"I don't believe you."

"Why won't you just trust me? Let your stubbornness and pride go!"

_What? _Was he joking?

"I wasn't the one who broke all my promises." I said, my voice getting louder and louder, picking up the pace. "I'm not the one who walked out of your life. Who was the one?" I ponder sarcastically. "Oh, that's right, it was you."

"She blackmailed me. She blackmailed you." Beck went on, unfazed by my crude remarks. Something about his tone told me to shut up and listen. "She threatened to tell everyone, and she said that when rumours spread you'd think it was me who told everyone." He chuckled humorlessly. "I told her our relationship was stronger than that. I'm not so sure now."

"So why'd you still go?" I couldn't help but ask.

There was a short silence, and he drew a breath, looking away. "She said some things that scared me. Things that made me realize just how important you were to me, and just how easily I could lose you." His eyes closed briefly. "One day, if your dad really lost it, it could be the end, and I'd spend the rest of my life knowing I could've prevented it. But Tori gave me a way. To help you. So I let her."

"What are you saying?" I interrupted, breathing heavily. "That this is for me? That what you did was for my _good_?"

"Jade, please, just listen, try and understand."

_No._

It seemed incomprehensible, improbable…

"I want to be alone," I whispered, barely comprehensible.

"Jade," he called out again, his voice so desperate, so broken…

"That's enough!" a voice rang out, clear and piercing. I didn't have to look up to realize who it was. Doctor Lily.

"Out! The both of you now! This patient needs rest." _Patient?_ I hated that term, but right now I didn't have the fight in me to tell her.

"No. I won't leave her," Beck rebuked standing up to face her.

"Yes you will. Can't you see what your presence has done?"

There was a short silence.

"Go." I said, more firmly this time. "Now."

He gave me one last pleading look before sighing. "Fine," he said resigned. "C'mon Cat."

They left the room leaving an empty, unwelcome presence behind.

"Jade, why don't you get on the bed?" Doctor Lily said kindly. I did as she said, lying down on the cold sheets.

"I'll give you some time to rest," she said before leaving the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Doctor Lily's POV:<strong>

I left the room. After hearing that conversation it was no wonder why that girl was so messed up. She definitely had it hard in this life.

I had to say though, the boy, Beck, he really did love her… I could see it in his eyes, the way he spoke to her, the way his brows furrowed when she didn't believe him. The way he didn't want to leave her side, and the determination it must have took to break in here. The nurses here weren't friendly to outsiders for a reason. I sighed when I remembered how he'd taken her in his arms. How could that girl not trust him? He seemed to perfect.

I went to the toilet to freshen up, shaking out my short blonde hair from its ponytail, and splashing some water on my face.

"Doctor Lily,"

I looked up. "Oh, Tara. Yes, what is it?"

"Oh nothing," she said with a smile. "You seemed a bit stressed so I made you coffee."

"Thank you," I replied accepting the dispensable paper cup graciously, sipping on it as we left the toilet.

"I'm sorry that we let the boy and his friend in," she said finally. I rolled my eyes, so that's what she was worried about.

"Don't fret about it, go take a break, Debby should be coming soon for her shift anyway."

"Okay, then… Enjoy your coffee." She said, walking quickly back to her station to pack up her things.

I sighed, plopping down on a small couch at the side. Soon I was fast asleep.

I was awoken up by a shrill cry out of "Shiiiiiit!"

I got up immediately mentally chastising myself for dozing off, checking my watch, I saw that nearly 2 hours had past. The nurses were in a panic. I caught the arm of one of them.

"Debby, what's going on?"

She bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair, "I'm not sure, I just arrived 5 minutes ago."

Alarm bells rang in my head. "5 minutes? Your shift started 2 hours ago!"

"I know! There was another emergency and traffic and, and, shit happens." She said frantically.

"So what's wrong now?"

She sighed, looking down. "One of the patients is missing."

My heart dropped, and my body was moving before my mind even knew where it was going. I stared at the empty room in front of me, the IV tube pulled out. The bed was made, and the blankets folded.

"Who?" I asked, even though the answer lay before me.

"Jade West, Doctor."

"Shit."

A/N: Okay, so really i apologize for the wait, and i'm on vacations now so the wait definitely won't be long the next time, i've actually already started. And i know u've probably moved on to another fanfiction and given up on this one, but i'll still finish it no matter what. even if i get like one review and it's a flame.

So please review anyway, even if you hate me! i keep thinking that Jade's breaking down way to badly-ish... and losing her bad ass persona, so i'm gonna try bringing it back:)

Let me know watcha think:D


	20. Live, Love, Laugh

**A/N: What's this? A update within the same week? YES EVERYONE! It's true! I'm so proud of myself:) jus kiddin, I owed you guys this like big time… anyways it's the first happy-ish chapter in a while, enjoy it while it last(: **

**Disclaimer: hehe missed it the last few chapters, but no, in that long period of time I spent taking to update this story, Victorious still hasn't changed owners, and is still not mine. **

Chapter 20: Live, Love, Laugh.

Life.

Before he met Jade, he would probably have defined life by what one did, accomplished and impacted on the world. How they changed lives, how others changed theirs. If someone had asked him, he'd probably have gone into some deep philosophical crap that even he never fully understood. Perhaps when he truly thought about it, he knew he was just cruising through life. It was good. It was easy. Maybe he even expected the rest of it to be the same. Fun, relaxed, at least it wasn't boring or stereotypical. It was different, he was an actor, he went to Hollywood Arts, a place not just anyone could go to. He dated girls, who was he kidding, girls fawned over him. He went out with friends, got invited to parties, fit in to school.

But it was _just_ that: fun, relaxed, and maybe, slightly different. 3 simple words could describe his life.

After, because there has to be an after if there's a before. But it wasn't exactly _after_. It wasn't sudden, like a plastic surgery. It was slow, but steady like a good diet. Gradually, he tried examining her views of life and comparing it to his own. She lived life on the edge, with a pair of scissors always at hand. She seemed to be on the opposite side of life itself. When he first tried to describe her life it was with 3 words like is own. _Different_, even more so than his, A _Mystery_ because I knew there was a story behind those stormy blue eyes, and filled with _Power_, she had it. There was no questioning that. It seemed so much more than his already, like she'd lived. _Actually_ lived, whatever that meant. And that was before he even realized there was so much more about her. Sorrow, Spontaneity, Mischief, Rage, Pain.

Love.

And that filled into his life too. She made him feel like he could live, _actually_ live, like her.

He loved her.

Now just one word could describe his life.

Empty.

Beck sighed as he stared up at the sky. He wondered how everything would be salvaged, _if_ anything _could_ be salvaged. If everything wasn't his fault, he might have been crying, the same way he knew Jade must have cried after he left. He felt himself being once again consumed by rage and guilt, but for once he let it go. What was done was done. He sighed again, the concrete felt cold against his back, so he turned over, the bright lights of L.A.'s city shining back at him. Who knew the hospital rooftop had such a good view. Turning his gaze back to the stars, he suddenly felt something protruding from his sides.

'Stupid phone' he thought, pulling it out of his pocket, the screen flashing at him. '6 miss calls. 4 new messages'. he sat up immediately.

Unlocking the keypad, his brow furrowed, they were all from Cat. Quickly he looked through my messages:

(8:23 pm) From Cat:

Beck where are you? Pick up! Hurry!

(8:25 pm) From Cat:

Beck it's abt Jade! She's missing from the hospital! I've called you 5 times alrd!

(8:26 pm) From Cat:

She's missing from the hospital! She's MISSING! BECK get over here! Nurses r goin crazy!

It was already 8:35. "Shit, where could she have gone?" he swore at himself. He called Cat, not bothering to wait for her hello.

"What happened to Jade?" he asked frantically already getting up and gathering his stuff. "How could she just disappear like that? Isn't that why the nurses are there?"

"No one knows how she got out! They say the head nurse wasn't there or something, I don't know, I don't know Beck! What do we do?" Cat's high voice cried from the phone, almost as anxious as Beck's.

"I'm on my way there, don't worry Cat," I say more to myself than her, turning for the door. "I'll definitely-"

She was there, leaning against the doorway, her dark hair falling perfectly down her shoulders, her gaze searing through him. She'd been watching him for a long while now.

After that stupid doctor had left she'd sat and cried and thought about things, she'd tried to sort out her thoughts, she'd tried to persuade herself, fighting with her mind with long mental debates. But in the end she just wanted Beck she just wanted to be safe in his arms again, without having to worry about whether he wanted it as much as she did.

She'd broke out, unable to stand that hospital room anymore, and she went to find Beck. She didn't know what compelled her to do so, she knew eventually he'd come find her again, but still she went to him first. Maybe it was because she felt restless in the room, but mostly it was because she missed him.

She'd wandered out the corridors, easily avoiding the nurses and their horrid pink outfits. She pondered as she walked as to where she should go. The RV? No, he wouldn't go that far. Where would she go if she was Beck, upset and frustrated. The roof. She smiled, making her way up the stairs, where she wouldn't be seen, each step making her feel more and more whole.

'There, there he is,' she thought as she watched him, rolling back and forth yet never noticing her presence. So she watched, thinking about how she should go about making her presence known. And then he'd stood up and turned and saw her. She bit her cheeks to keep from smiling.

He wondered how long she'd stood there.

"Beck? BECK?" Cat's scream brings him back to reality.

"Found her," he murmurs, more to himself than the phone.

"You found her? Where are you?"

"I'll call you later." He said dismissing her.

"Beck? Beck!"

He hung up.

Beck closed the space between them in 3 long strides, pulling her to him in one swift motion, he released her almost immediately, his expression apologetic, but instead of pulling back, her arms wound around him tighter.

"Don't let go," she whispered so softly he wasn't sure he heard it, but he took my chances anyway and when she didn't resist, it was like a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. He breathed her in, like he was breathing for the first time in weeks. Like he'd finally found where he was supposed to be, and the void inside him had been filled.

"So," she began, almost nervously, he pulled back slightly, looking at her expectantly, she drew a breath, "You love me again."

He let out a small sigh of old patience, how many times had they been through this before?

"Who said I stopped?" he answered, like he always did, and slowly but surely, a smile formed on her face.

A few minutes later they found ourselves on the concrete together, lying side by side, watching the sky. A year and a bit ago he'd once pointed out the more famous constellations for her, but after she'd commented about how the big dipper made her feel like frying eggs in a pan, he'd given up.

"How'd you know where to find me?" he asked finally, propping himself on one arm to look at her properly, the sky holding no interest to him now that Jade was around.

She gave me him a look and said, "I'll always know where you are, and even if I don't, I'll still find you. Isn't that what you told me? You're not the only one with weird seeking powers. Besides," she said after a pause, "You've always sought comfort in high places when you're upset."

Beck chuckled, she knew him better than himself sometimes. "How'd you escape those nurses in the first place?"

She smirked, "Who do you think you're talking to? You think a bunch of silly nurses wearing those dreadful pink uniforms can stop me?"

He kissed her, he couldn't help it. "You're back," he said simply. She blinked rapidly, speechless for a while. She looked away, almost embarrassed.

"Tell me what happened," he coaxed, "After I left."

Jade didn't say anything, but Beck knew better than to force her. After a while she simply turned and buried her face in my shirt, instinctively his arms wrapped around her.

"I've always felt safe like this, invincible" she murmured softly. "Like no one can hurt me." His arms tightened, but his smile widened.

"Really?" he asked, the grin on his face making him seem like a child asking for an extra lollipop. She nodded.

"Even now? Even after everything?" He asked hardly daring to hear the answer.

"Even now," she replied.

"So you forgive me?"

"Don't push it."

He suppressed a laugh, she was still the old Jade, nothing much had changed.

"After you left," she started, her forehead still pressed against my chest. "I went back to my house," he tensed immediately. "Your father didn't do anything did he?" He asked frantically.

"No, he just laughed at me, he said you'd finally realize I wasn't worth it," she shuddered. He stroked her hair calming her down like he always did. She breathed in slowly, enveloped by his warmth, she mustered up the courage to continue. "I felt so," she bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut. "So vulnerable," she could hear her voice cracking, and so could Beck. "You, you broke through my walls Beck, you made me open up. But after you left, I couldn't get it back up! It was like _everything_ just got to me, _everyone_ was talking about me, _everyone_ _knew_. It was too much and then I saw you and Tori, and it was like I couldn't take it anymore." She took in a deep shuddery breath, "I remember running to the playground and trying to control everything, but… but I couldn't and, and," The tears were really coming now, and she lifted her hand to wipe it away.

"Shhh, it's okay Jade, it's over," he whispered pulling her hand away and wiping her tears himself.

"After that I woke up in the hospital." She said finally.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say that." She snapped immediately, pulling away and sitting up.

"What? What did I say? Sorry?" Beck sat up too.

"Stop saying I'm sorry, stop apologizing! You say it like it solves everything, like it brings everything an ending, but it's not so easy." Jade exclaimed. "You know what you said when we broke up? I'm sorry. Well _I'm_ sorry."

Neither of them said anything for a while.

"When you left the RV, I broke my table," Beck said, breaking the silence.

"The wooden one?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"I punched it," he said after a pause.

She took a moment to digest this. "How's your hand?" she asked finally, looking down where his hand rested on his knee.

"It's fine now," he responded, flexing his hand.

"I'm glad."

"Jade," he said, she turned up to look at him.

"When I saw you lying on the pavement, I probably could've broken your car, or at least make a dent."

She smiled softly.

"You have no idea how I felt, seeing you like that." He went on, his voice starting to shake as well, "And when you wouldn't wake up, even after I called your name. It was… scary." He finished finally.

"How do you think I felt?"

"Yeah, I know.."

"You should never have left," Jade said, reaching over to him, and hugging him, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

"I know."

"It was the stupidest, most idiotic thing you ever did," she went on.

"Did you hate me for it?"

"No," she answered.

"Why? Why not? I think I deserved to be hated."

"Maybe I did for a while, not really for breaking up, but for choosing Tori of all people. I just hated myself for believing you, for trusting you, for letting you in, for loving you. But somehow I couldn't hate you, and I couldn't regret the time I spent with you."

"I'm yours, you know that right? Why do you always doubt it?" He asked suddenly, his hands winding in her hair, starting to play with it.

Her answer came after a pause and a sigh. "My father used to love me. He used to bring me out for ice-cream and cake, he taught me how to swim and to ride a bike. He brought me to see my first play." She pushed back so we were face to face. "He was a good dad." Now it was his turn to sigh.

"Jade, just because some people change, doesn't mean everyone does."

"Beck, you don't understand how a single action, a simple sentence that someone says, can change your course completely, your emotions, your thoughts, everything." He gave her a skeptical look. "If I killed your parents, I don't think you'd still be this comfortable near me," she challenged.

"Would you kill my parents?" He asked, not in the slightest fazed.

"No but, let's just say-"

"There's no but. You wouldn't, not without an extremely good reason, and that's partly why I love you." He smiled again, "Because you're not a psychopathic murderer, and that's a very good thing. Jade, you father just has some… problems."

To his surprise, Jade smiled back, her eyes looked brighter too. "Is that how it works?"

"Mmhmm." He replied confidently. She laughed, a small laugh but a laugh all the same.

"You know, when you smile at me, it makes me feel like I can do anything." He said without really thinking.

"Talk about an ego boost," she snorted.

"I'm serious," he persisted, "It's like seeing rain in the Sahara, or a camel in the Arctic."

She released him completely, and stretched her arms into the air, yawning and crossing her legs. Then she smiled again contentedly. It reminded him of a cat.

"See, if I can do that, I can do anything," he said proudly, leaning back on his arms, his own legs stretched out completely.

"Let's just stay here forever." She mumbled, yawning again.

"Jade, you probably have to go back soon, Doctor Lily will probably kill me once they find us."

"Let's run." She said suddenly, with a strangely determined expression on her face. "We could run away so they never find us, we could go to Canada for Christ's sake. They won't follow us."

"Jade," he said gently, "We still have school, our passports are at home, it won't work."

She looked at the sky dejectedly. "By tomorrow, the hospital would've notified my father, and everything will just fall apart."

"You'll have me," Beck said, reaching over and planting a sweet kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes, relishing in the moment.

"Tell me you love me," she said giving the usual demand.

"I love you."

She looked back down at him, surprised, "No magic word?"

"Not today," he shook his head gently.

"Oh?"

"You deserved it."

**A/N: If you liked it review:) if you hated it review! If you're so-so with it review:D reviews make me very very happy Aaaannnnddd I updated earlier than usual, so that shld gain me more points righttt? pweety pwease?**

**Btw this is like my longest chapter so far, nearly 3000 words:) n my a/ns weren't _thaat_ long rite?  
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**Sigh, I love you guys(: And I'll try to reply to those reviews soon(: keep em' coming. **

**Question because I'm bored: do you eat to live? Or live to eat? **

**kimi.  
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	21. In Search Of Happiness

**A/N: So most, ok well everyone said keep going so voila! Just a warning, this is kinda KINDA a filler chapter, so it's shorter than usual… And not very extrememly flowy… sorry…. But enjoy all the same(:**

Disclaimer: Yeah we all know the, Victorious isn't mine blah blah blah :P

Chapter 21: The Search for Happiness

Cat's POV:

Ohmygosh! Beck found Jade! It's like they're telepathic of something! Maybe they are! I giggled to myself, still staring at the phone. Then I realized. Beck hung up on me! How could he! How rude! I can't believe he did that! I frown and pout at the same time. Calling him again.

"The number you're calling is currently unavailable, please try agai-" I slid the phone shut, giggling again. He must have turned off his phone because he didn't want to be disturbed. Because HE'S WITH JADE! I let an elated cry leave my lips, catching the stares of more than one nurse. Why were they staring at me? My mood fell again, and like I always did when my mood fell, I decided to call Jade. But just I tapped in the last number I remembered. OOOH! They're back together now! I shouldn't disturb them… should I? I felt a sly smile creep onto my face as I wondered what they would be doing now… It brought a blush to my cheeks. Oops! Cat! I chastised myself. Stop thinking weird thoughts. But _everyone_ knows we never listen when we're so happy. So like before, a whole gaggle of giggles come chorusing out. This time I walk away before anyone stares, happily skipping down the hospital corridors.

"Cat?" I bump into Doctor Lily. Immediately I stop skipping. This doctor was mean and I didn't like her very much.

"Yes?" I answer hesitantly.

"Do you have any idea where Jade would be?" She asked, a sliver of panic noticeable in her eyes.

The thought of Jade and Beck brought a grin back on my face. "I dunno," I say, then laugh. "Or _maaayybe_… I do!" I laugh again. "But I won't tell _you_!"

The panic slowly merged to annoyance as I struggled to not laugh. I bite my lips, looking everywhere but at the doctor's face, starting to hum along to a random tune in my head. Oooh, it was a good tune, maybe I can show it to Andre later and he could write me a song! And then maybe I could perform it! With Jade! That thought sparked back the previous other thoughts, and thus, I began to giggle again, first slowly, as I was still trying to reel it in, but soon, it just all escaped, and I was full out laughing again, stomach aching and everything.

"Cat!" I stiffened up, Doctor Lily did _not_ look amused. I bit my bottom lip again, twisting my body round and round innocently.

"What is so funny?" She asked, stern like my mother after she saw my math grades.

"NOTHING!" I scream immediately.

"Then please tell me where Jade is. Her mental condition is not stable, this could be dangerous for your friend too!"

'I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, she's with Beck! He won't allow anything to-" I gasped. "I didn't say that!" I cried hoping she didn't hear me. Fat chance.

"She's with Beck?" Her eyebrow raised questioningly, almost surprised.

"NO!... Okay, yeah. No wait! Maybe." I bounced nervously. "I can't tell you!" I screamed.

To my surprise, the doctor just sighed. "It's fine then." Then in a voice so soft I wasn't sure I heard correctly, "That boy won't hurt her."

~3~

"_Tell me you love me," she said giving the usual demand. _

"_I love you."_

_She looked back down at him, surprised, "No magic word?"_

"_Not today," he answered, his arms crossed beneath his head. _

"_Oh?"_

"_You deserved it."_

Jade simply smiled. "Right now, I could say it a million times and not be sick of it," he said, stroking her hair.

"Don't be a sap," she said, but the smile on her face just grew warmer still.

"I love you. I love you I love you I love you… I love you so, _so_ much." He said regardless, pulling her so she laid against his chest, and lowering his head to the crook of her neck. She leaned onto him in complete surrender, sighing in total content.

"Shut up," she said regardless, closing her eyes peacefully.

Beck grinned. "You don't mean that," he breathed.

"No," Jade admitted, her voice impossibly soft. "No, I don't" she said, reaching a hand behind her to caress his face. She turned so they faced each other. "I love you too."

With a moan, Beck reached for her, one hand on the small of her back, the other at the back of her head, pushing their lips together in sweet, sweet relief.

"I missed you," she whispered between breaths.

"Oh Jade, you have no idea what it was like for me." They kissed again.

~3~

Beck's POV:

She laid against me, our breaths in perfect synchrony. She'd fallen asleep hours ago, while I'd held her and slowly watched as she ascended in to the world of dreams. The sun would rise soon.

"Beck," she mumbled softly, her face nuzzled into his shirt.

My hand moved instinctively, pushing the strands of her hair back, tucking them behind her ear.

I closed my eyes, just relishing the feel of her, her warmth, the fact that she was still mine, the fact that she still loved me.

"Beck?" Jade said, slowly waking up.

"Shhh, there's still time, go back to sleep." I told her.

"No," she protested, sitting up and stretching like a cat again. My arms immediately felt cold without her to wrap around. She turned to look at the morning sun rising, and when the light hit her face I was struck once again by how beautiful she was.

"What?" she asked when she caught me staring.

I could already imagine her reaction if I told her. I smiled. "Nothing, I just wish we could be like this forever," I sighed, pulling her to me again, kissing her hair. She was silent for a moment, then her next line startled me.

"Why can't we?" her voice seemed desperate, almost sad even.

"Because Jade," I answered her, leaning her back so I could face her.

"Why can't we? We don't have to stay and deal with this shit! We could," she looked around as if a sign would suddenly pop out, giving her all the right answers. "We could go to Hollywood, we could be stars! We'd show everyone that we _were_ good enough! We could make a living out of it and…" she clasped my hands suddenly. "We could be happy!"

"What do you mean Jade? We are happy!" I exclaimed, something was still wrong.

"Today! Today we are! But what about tomorrow? What about in a months time, when my Dad's in one of his moods again, something happens, I'll come running to you and,-"

"And I'll make you feel better!"

"But that's all that's ever going to happen! We're stuck in this ridiculous cycle! And just _look _what happened when you tried to get us out." She motioned to herself. "Tomorrow, I'll go home, I'll finish my homework, I'll eat my dinner while my mother fusses over my brother and pretends not to notice me." Word by word I can feel my own walls climb higher and higher. I don't want to hear this and she knows it. "While my dad just sits in his office and I hope, I _pray_ that he won't let out a frustrating cry and head for the fridge where all the alcohol is." Jade finishes. There is a long silence.

"You never told me it was that bad." I accused. "You told me most days everything went normal, that sometimes your family's actually a happy one." She slowly shook her head, "You lied?" I asked in disbelief.

Jade gave me one of her sad smiles. "I never lied. 5 days of the week _is_ 'most days' isn't it?"

I could almost feel the tears springing to my eyes. "Twice a week?" She never came crying _twice_ a week. My fist clenched.

"Give or take."

"Give or take?" I repeated incredulously. "All this time you were suffering _alone_?"

"Beck, it wasn't always that bad," she said, my reaction obviously surprising her. "Most days he never even touched me! He only screamed, or sometimes it was just a slap and he'd just pass out from all that poison inside him," she said 'reassuringly' as if it _could_ be reassuring. If this was a messed up attempt to comfort me there was no way in hell it was working.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Don't! Don't even try Beck, it won't work! I came to you whenever I needed to, I got used to him for the most part! His words just fly by me, and his hits aren't actually _that_ hard."

"Do you realize the incredulity of what you're saying? You got _used_ to it? _No! _Do you even _realize_ how unfair this is? How _accepting_ you are of your situation?" I yelled at her.

She seemed a bit shaken up as well. "You don't get it! I _deserve_ this!"

I scoffed, how could she even think so? "Why? Because you 'killed' 2 people?" She flinched, I regretted my harsh words. "Jade! You were what? 5?" I asked in a gentler tone. You were a kid! You couldn't possibly have known the consequences of your actions! It was _not_ your fault! It was not your fault!" I repeated, letting the words sink in. "It was an _accident_."

She bit her lip, so I knew she was trying her best not to cry.

"Why else then? Why else would they hate me?" she screamed.

"That Jade, is one of the world's greatest mysteries. You're beautiful, confident, brilliant, you have passion! You shine on stage! Why anyone could hate you is incomprehensible."

She just glared at me, "You're just biased because you love me," she retorted, pulling away to lie down again.

I sighed, adjusting her so her head was in my lap, and then, because it really is irresistible, especially with the sunlight streaming down, I started to braid her hair.

"Beck," she protested.

"Hmm?" I played dumb.

She looked at my face. "What are we going to do?"

"Don't worry Jade, he won't hurt you again." Jade rolled her eyes, "Doctor Lily might not seem that nice, but she's on our side."

"I don't want a stupid lawsuit or any of that shit! Didn't I already tell you that?"

"Then what do you want Jade? Tell me and I'll do it! I get it!"

She looked into my eyes like she was searching for an answer there.

"I don't know," she whispered, "I just want you, so don't ever leave me again, and don't try anything stupid." She reached up and tangled her hand in my hair, "And don't ever cut your hair."

I grinned at her last comment. "For you? Never."

**A/N: So to clear up any doubts: Beck wants Jade to go to trial and stop her father. Jade doesn't want it because of publicity and partly because she thinks she kinda deserves it, though that doesn't mean she doesn't want the abusing to end. All she wants is for both of them to live in happiness really.**

**I hope it was clear-ish… REVIEW IF IT DIDN'T and if it did and REVIEW anyways if you're reading or if you've favourited or add this story to alerts THANK U! muak! love u all3 x 100000  
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**Kimmy3**


	22. Retribution

**A/N: Okay, I won't even try to excuse myself. It's been a while… SORRY. Like seriously, I am sorry for the wait.**

**Things happen, stuff piles up, ya know… IMPORTANT A/N AT THE END.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, it isn't mine, cuz I swear, if it was, Beck would be begging at Jade's door to let him back, and HA! It ain't gonna be easy… He owes her BIG TIME. DUDE I WAS SO PISSED…. SO FREAKIN PISSED AT BECK! Anyways:**

Chapter 22: Retribution

Beck's POV:

I carried her back down to her room after she fell asleep again, smiling as her face turned to my chest, unconsciously seeking warmth and protection. Jade didn't sleep much, but when she did, she slept like a rock. 'She probably didn't sleep much at all after what you did to her,' I thought to myself, mentally kicking myself. Look how much she'd slept in less than 24 hours. The nurses all glared at me when I returned, obviously, they'd all received wrath from Doctor Lily when they lost a patient. I allowed some satisfaction to seep through me at the fact that my Jade could so easily bypass the watchful eyes of the hospital staff, so easily get through all the security measures. He remembered all the trouble he'd gone through just trying to see her. I looked back at the sleeping girl in my arms, she never failed to amaze me.

"Where did you take her? Do you even understand the state of mind she's in? Do you have any idea what could have sparked it off?" Doctor Lily nearly screamed at me, her eyes flashing.

"Shhh, you'll wake her up!" I told her, nearly glaring at her. What kind of doctor was she anyway? Screaming in front of sleeping patients… I laid her down carefully on the bed, when suddenly, her fingers gripped me, unwilling to pry away. Cautiously, I unfurl each finger, placing a kiss to the tip of each one as I do. She lets out a small sigh when I finally pull away. I pulled the blanket up to her chest, knowing she hates it all the way up.

She wakes up in just under an hour, taking in the surroundings with a scowl. Then she sees the doctor, and to my surprise, she gives a polite smile. Something is definitely up.

"Hello Doctor Lily," she says pleasantly, "I apologize if I gave you a scare, earlier with my disappearance, I just get so restless sometimes. I do hope you can understand." She looks down, innocently.

Her acting is good, just that it's so unreal, so impossible, it's like she's created an entire knew person.

Doctor Lily is slightly flustered. "Well, you should know, that it's not good for your stability at the moment, and-"

"Oh, I feel perfectly fine now Doctor Lily," she told her. Then she put a hand over her mouth as if she feels she shouldn't have interrupted. Which is preposterous because Jade _loves_ interrupting people. "I know I should let you finish, but really, I just want to go home." She says softly.

With the last 4 words, I understood what she wanted.

Jade wanted out.

Here in the hospital, her privacy and her life was on display. And she didn't want that anymore. She wanted to leave, she didn't want them in her business any longer.

"Well I just have a few questions about your family matters," the doctor said gently, obviously not wanting a repeat of the other day.

Her expression stiffened for less than a second, it probably went unnoticed to the doctor, but not to me. I reached for her hand, and felt her relax a little. "Of course."

"Are there any," she paused, "problems, in your family at the moment?"

"No, none at all! We're perfectly fine." She said, fake smiles plastered onto her face.

"Are you sure? No arguments, fights, nothing?" She questioned, pressing harder.

"Nothing." Jade repeated.

"What about these bruises along your back? How did those come about?"

"Oh those! Alicia, this girl whacked me into the bar during one of our salsa classes, hurts like a bitch," she answered easily. "Oops, sorry, language, my bad," She rolled her eyes. I had to admit it was pretty convincing. If not for the fact that we'd both see her completely break down.

"Why do you think you're in the hospital Jade?"

"I fainted? I guess I was just dizzy, didn't drink enough water, could happen to anyone." She shrugged. "Except my super hot boyfriend here is just way too protective." She gave me a sweet smile that I couldn't bring myself to smile back to. 'Super hot boyfriend?' just not right…

"What do you think Beck, should I let her go home?" The doctor turned to face me.

"Do whatever you think is best for her. But let her go home." I said softly.

She was discharged from the hospital less than an hour later. They gave her a bottle of pills before they left. Anti-depressants, no doubt. She promptly threw it into the first trashcan she found. Then she insisted on driving, despite my disapproval. So she sat behind the wheel, while I watched her every movement. Every flex of her fingers as she gripped the wheel, the emotions that flashed through with each turn, how her jaw seemed to tense, and then relax almost rhythmically. I wanted to know what she was thinking.

Jade looked to me, then as if hesitantly, she let go of the wheel, lifting it up to me. I took it instantly, our fingers intertwined and locked together like a puzzle piece, and we drove the way back in silence, content with just this simple contact.

When we reached the RV, she grabbed my shirt and kissed me, it was short, but filled with passion, and when she pulled back, her eyes just looked lost. I didn't know what to do, so I held her to me, as tight as I could. She laid her head on my shoulder. Then she pushed me onto the bed, and curled up next to me.

"I love you," she whispered.

It took me a while to register, what she said, it wasn't often that she said it before he did. I pulled her closer still, until we couldn't tell which of those racing heart was our own.

"I love you too."

I felt her smile. "Good."

"Are you happy?" I asked suddenly, lifting her chin up to face her.

"Yes. I am."

I smiled, because she wasn't lying.

* * *

><p>Jade's POV:<p>

"Where's my coffee?" I growled at Beck the next day. We were in school again. People were talking again, about us being back together, they wondered what happened to Tori, they debate who they think begged to be put back together. Most think it was me.

They are all idiots.

"Here," he said passing the warm, white, styrofoam cup to me. I sip it gratefully. He wraps his arm around me, and I lean into him. People start staring again.

I hate it.

"Beck, you have to stop it," I said, resigned

"Stop what?"

"Stop treating me like I'm so breakable! Like I'm a girl from some mental institute."

"I'm not."

"Beck really," I sigh.

His arms wind around my waist and he hides his face in my hair. "You don't understand Jade," he murmurs softly into my ear. "When I saw you lying there on the pavement, and then later, when in the hospital, it was like I couldn't think, I tried seeing past everything to myself in the future. But each time I tried to, you were always in the picture. Without you…" His breathing quickened. "I don't think I could stand it."

"Shut up," I said simply. "Stop being a sap," but I don't mean it, and I can tell from the way he's chuckling into my hair that he knows that too.

"I wanna skip next period," I told him.

"It's Sikowitz."

"Exactly, I'm not in the mood for confrontation yet." I whisper softly.

"She won't bother you. She probably won't even talk to you. You know she doesn't have the courage to do that." Yeah, but then again, she had the backbone to try and break us up. Surely that counts for something too.

"What did you say to her in the end?" I asked, because now I realized, he must have had to rejected her if he was with her now. Which reminded me, "She knows everything doesn't she?"

"She won't say it Jade, she's not really a bad person," he tries to reassure me.

"You're still the same aren't you," I realized as I said it aloud. "You still think you can find the good in everyone, can't you?" I tilt my head back onto his shoulder, and he begins to weave a braid through my hair.

"She's sorry."

"Did she tell you that?"

He bit back a response, I found myself smiling. "Just as well, where would I be if you could never see the good in me in the first place," I mutter, almost to myself, sighing contentedly against his warm chest.

"I'm just lucky I saw it before anyone else did." He answered, smiling too.

"What makes you think I'd accept just 'anyone else'?" I questioned slyly.

"The same thing that makes you think I could actually like Tori." He replied simply.

I groaned and spun to face him. "You let her kiss you twice!" I accuse sharply. "Frankly speaking, you started all this!"

"I never kissed her twice, only once, and we've been through that, it was just a stage kiss." He said firmly.

"Don't lie to me Beck! I saw you!" he cringes at my tone.

"I swear I didn't," then in one swift moment, he reaches down to kiss me, except his lips never met mine. I felt my entire body flush at the sudden proximity. "I'd never allow that," he said smirking. Then before I could catch my breath, he leaned in for a swift peck. Cheekily grinning at me. I just rolled my eyes. My hands snaked up to tangle in his hair, and I smirked as I reached up for a real kiss.

* * *

><p>"Anyone else notice how quiet those two have been since the split?" Andre wondered out loud.<p>

"Yeah!" Robbie agreed, realizing he was right, "When was the last time they actually sat with us at lunch? Andre, why don't you go talk to them?"

"He won't say anything! He's so tightly wound up, and I'm not gonna be the first one to ask Jade!" said giving him the 'hey, don't look at me face,'

"Man, I don't understand why he's being so weird." Rex piped up.

"Yeah and I haven't heard a single sarcastic thing come out of Jade's mouth all day!" Andre exclaimed.

"Ha! Wonder how long _that'll_ last," said Rex.

Just then Tori came by, dumping her bag onto the chair, along with her turkey sandwich. "Oh my God you guys, you wouldn't believe what Mrs. Florence is trying to make me do."

Andre coughs. Robbie scratches his neck. Both look around uncomfortably. "Yeah man, sure…" their responses are limited.

Tori furrows her brow for a while, staring at both of them. Then she shrugs it off. "Have you guys heard about the new pear phone xt? The promo was released like just yesterday!"

"Mmmhmm," Andre hummed a response, suddenly finding his taco, very interesting to look at.

"HEY GUYS!" a bright voice comes from behind, Cat bounds over to the table, her red hair flashing everywhere. "Guess what I- Oh," she said stopping mid-sentence, as she glanced up at Tori. "Tori, you're here." Her eyes, immediately look away, and she bites her lips.

"Okay guys, what's up?" Tori exclaims. "Why are all of you being so, tense, and shifty!" she asked. This couldn't be about her and Beck, could it? When the silence doesn't end, she raises her eyebrows. "Andre?" she calls, because she knows he'll be completely honest, even if it takes a push.

He glances warily at Cat and Robbie, but when neither object he takes a deep breath. "Okay, the reason we're all tense, and shifty, is because you basically stole Beck from Jade!

"And although we haven't gotten much outta Jade, or Beck or Cat yet," Robbie continued on "We're kinda suspecting blackmail," he ended softly, as if couldn't really believe it yet.

"What?" Tori sputtered. "Blackmail? Why would you even think that?" she cried out, incredulous.

"Why else would Beck leave Jade?" Andre said, as if stating the obvious. "He loves her man! It's as plain as day!"

"Beck broke up with her before our short little fling! And besides! They're back together now aren't they?" she exclaims.

"Yeah but look at them!" Andre shouted back, then tried to be softer, because at this point, people were starting to notice. "They're different now! They've changed!"

"And it's all your fault!" Cat spoke up suddenly. Her high voice ringing loud and clear through the Asphalt Café. The usual grin was replaced with a frown, her usual giggle, replaced with a glare, and it was as unnerving as much it was intimidating.

"Cat? Not you too." Said Tori, her mouth open in shock.

Cat wondered why she was still trying. "Beck told me, he told me everything!" she yelled, softer now, but still loud. "He was so scared!" Her voice faltered as her eyes began to water. "And Jade was so, so heartbroken!" Her fist clenched together when she remembered everything Jade had to go through in the hospital. "She was hurting!" she nearly screamed. "I don't know how someone could be so horrible." She gave Tori a once-over. "I thought you were nice."

She ran off, still half sobbing. Robbie followed her.

Tori turned to the last resort. "You don't really believe her, do you?" she asked him, almost desperate for support. "Remember when we were learning stage fighting? And Jade sabotaged me? I bet she's just doing the same thing now!"

"Then what about Beck then?" Andre countered, Tori had nothing. "That dude just _doesn't_ lie!" he shook his head, "Unless you think she tricked Beck too? AND Cat? And you dating Beck at the moment was all just some kinda… Scam?"

"You can't seriously think that I would-"

"Sorry Tori," Andre interrupted. "I don't know what to think now." He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "I thought you were nice." His words echoed. And he began to walk away.

"I am nice!" she tried one last time. Wasn't she?

As she watched her 'friends' walk away from her one by one, that question grew smaller, and smaller, until there as no doubt in her mind at all.

Tori Vega, hadn't been nice, at all.

**A/N: TORI GOT PWNED:DDD **

**anyways:  
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**Okay, the main reason I haven't been updating fast enough, is cuz I've been trying to write another fanfic:P and it's about how they first met, and stuff(: with a twist. Jade is claustrophobic;) sound interesting? It gets better. Review (for this chapter) if you want a sneak peek of their first kiss(: cuz I think if I don't do that, I might not get any reviews… cuz u know, it's been a month.. ppl r upset that the authors are getting so lazy… yea… again: sorry….:(**

**Review even if you don't want a sneak peek(: **

**IT MIGHT NOT BE THE FINALIZED VERSION. Of the kiss. BUT ANYWAYS… nvm. **

**LOVE YOU GUYS! (I HAVE OVER 300 REVIEWS!*SCREAMS* y r u guys so freakin awesome?)  
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**-KIMMY.**


	23. The Lies, The Liars, and The Lied To

**A/N: I feel so good(: updating twice in less than two weeks-ishhh:D I know… pretty awesome right? For me at least:P Though to me, this chapter is a bit… unsettling… another A/N at the end. Tnxxxx**

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine, or Victorious would be free to the public! So that I don't have to keep trying to find crappy quality vids on youtube**

Chapter 23: The Lies, The Liars, and The Lied To.

When she felt the phone buzz in her pocket, she tried, only briefly to keep from reading it. After all, she was snug against his chest, their teacher long outgrown their antics in class in return for As and A*s. But it was calculus, the most boring subject of the year, and besides Beck's math book was fat enough to actually hide her pearphone. She half sighed, pulling it out. Then froze when she saw the name that flashed across her screen.

The peace was over.

She knew it had to happen sometime or later, especially since, she had to bill those stupid anti-depressant pills to her freaking father. She knew he'd find out about the whole fainting thing, and what had gone down at the hospital. They probably called his office. Rumors had probably spread… He was probably pissed off as hell. No, who was she kidding, he was _definitely_ as pissed as hell… She'd tried not to think about it though.

Now she had no choice.

He felt her body tense.

Like an immediate reaction, his arm tightened around her shoulder.

"What? Who texted?"

"Why are you being so pushy?" she hissed back, locking her phone.

"You're avoiding the question," his voice lowered an octave, deadly serious in his ears.

She took a deep breath, but just rolled her eyes. "You need to chill Beck." She looked straight at him, math class forgotten around them. "It was just Cat. I need to go over later for an English project."

Cautiously, under the watchful glare of his girlfriend, Beck relaxed, enough to drone back into the stupor of calculus, playing with a lock of her hair. As usual.

Inside she let out a sigh of relief. He'd fallen for it. Her acting skills must really have improved. Her deft fingers slowly deleted the text message incase he decided to check later:

_From: Mom_

_Your father expects you back at 8 today, and everyday. Obviously that boyfriend of yours is becoming a bad influence. There will be no excuses._

Almost instinctively, her mind started building up its walls again, brick by brick, she placed, allowing no room for hurt. Mentally and physically preparing herself, deflecting anything from the outside automatically. She locked her true self away, hidden deep inside her heart where only one person could reach it.

"You know you'll miss me," Beck teased as they headed out the school.

_More than you think…._ "I'm sure Cat will be more than entertaining," she shot back.

"C'mon, you won't be able to get me off your mind," he nudged her, knowing it would make her even more irritated.

"Sure," she said, sarcasm dripping from her lips.

"Awww," he played along. "I'll call you," he said sweetly.

"Don't" she said, surprising him. "Cat and I will probably be talking about, you know," she continued on smoothly. "Stuff," she shrugged.

He eyed her carefully, "Yeah, okay," he said finally. They made small talk until they reached the car.

"I'll drop you off," he said.

"I don't have to go yet!" she cried out suddenly, grabbing his arm. He grinned, smug, "Missing me already?" she rolled her eyes.

"I wanna go back to the RV first," she demanded.

He took her hand in his, the other on the wheel. "Sure."

"And stop for coffee on the way," Jade added, almost impulsively.

He chuckled. "Some things just never change do they?"

Jade's POV:

He was right. Some things never change. I waved my goodbyes from outside Cat's house a few hours later, after reassuring him that I could walk myself in. Honestly, what did he take me for? An invalid? I could walk. Sometimes I couldn't understand his paranoia.

Then again, here I was, lying to him.

Again.

I waited a while after he turned the corner before I hailed a cab.

"Westminster's Avenue number 42, please," I told the driver.

I was going home.

Then I dialed Cat up, praying she'd answer.

"Cat."

"HEY JADE!" she yelled through the phone.

"Do me a favor?" I asked softly.

"Sure!" she chirped, giggling slightly. "Is it about a surprise party? Because I LOVE surprise parties!" she enthused.

"Cat."

"Once, my brother had a surprise party, except it wasn't really a surprise because he knew," she continued.

"Cat! Focus!"

"And no one besides our family was there, even though we sent invitations," her voice sounded sadder now.

"Cat," I groaned. Sometimes I wondered how her parents lived.

"But it's okay! We still had fun! And we had a cake! It was pink! With blue dots on them and-"

"CAT! LISTEN TO ME!" I screamed. "Sorry," I mouthed at the driver, who'd nearly gotten a heart attack. "I'm being serious now."

There was a huff. "Okay," she said finally.

"I told Beck I was staying over at your place. He probably won't but if he calls, tell him I'm at your house, and I fell asleep or something, okay?" I asked.

She was unusually silent for a while.

"Cat?" I swore, if she'd gotten distracted again…

"Why are you lying to him Jade?" she exclaimed suddenly. "Why are you two always lying?"

I heard a sharp intake of breath, and realized it was mine. "Jade!" her voice cried out, trying to make me see reason.

"I'm sorry Cat, I have to do this. Please just help me," I realized I was whispering. I realized I was close to tears, "If Beck knew, he'd freak, he'd hate me!" My voice grew faster and faster, my pitch climbing as well.

"Where are you going?" her voice was ice-cold, not an ounce of sympathy.

I silently, paid the driver the money, and stepped out of the cab.

"Back," I answered simply. "I'm back."

"Back?" she echoed. "You don't mean…"

"Westminster Avenue," I murmured, looking at the house of my nightmares, "Number 42," we whisper together.

"You can't," she said suddenly, loud and firm. "I'm going to tell Beck. He deserves to know."

"No." I was surprised at how much power I could muster into that one word. "You won't."

She hesitated. "Jade, what if he hurts you?" _What if?_ It was inevitable. But with that one question, I knew I'd bought her over.

"I can take care of myself." I answered smoothly. Cat was always easily manipulated, and usually, I scolded her for that, wanting her to be more assuring of herself. Today I was thankful for her naivety.

"Are you sure?" she asked again, her voice still as worried as before.

"Who do you take me for?" I asked, putting as much confidence into it as possible.

She let out a small giggle. "You'll call if anything happens?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Promise me nothing will happen." She said, though we both knew that it was impossible.

"I promise," I said. Behind my back, I cross my fingers. It's a loophole used by children, but I can't help myself. Lying so openly to Cat was like lying to a baby. Utterly and completely wrong.

I should be used to it by now, I mean, already my web of lies could span across to the moon and back, but I'm not. I'm just not.

Walking slowly, I paused outside the door, trying in vain to firm up the crumbling walls of my mind.

I step through the threshold, and immediately, I notice, something's different…

It's all dark.

Maybe if I just sneak to my room, he won't bother me. Maybe, just maybe.

I tiptoe past the first floor bedrooms, when it hits me.

They're all gone.

My mother, my brother… My father too?

Hope rose.

And fell.

_No._

I freeze.

Something just moved.

I'd recognized those footsteps anywhere… He was still here.

The others just vacated so…

So,

It would be just the two of us.

_With nothing to stop him from going to far. _

This time, everything was different.

I couldn't move.

_Step._

I couldn't breathe.

_Step. _

The footsteps were approaching.

_Step._

_Step._

Slowly. He was drunk.

There was a sudden crash from the living room. No. Beyond drunk.

_Step._

My heart was racing. My mind was screaming.

_Step._

_Step._

My legs were as heavy as lead.

_Step._

Beck's words replayed in my mind: _"One day, if your dad really lost it, it could be the end, and I'd spend the rest of my life knowing I could've prevented it." _

Did he know it would be this soon?

_Step._

It couldn't be this soon.

_HELP ME SOMEBODY! _I prayed so hard.

He rounded the corner.

I should've have known by now prayers are for the foolish.

His eyes red and bloodshot, his figure, slumped, yet intimidating. His smile was menacing.

Finally, my survival instincts kick in, and I run.

But he catches me, like always.

"_Hello, my precious Jadey," _he half hissed, half crooned, warm and moist in my ear. His arms surround my waist, surprisingly similar to the way Beck's arm wrap around me.

Except, Beck's arms are like a haven, safe and sound. I loved it.

His, are like a prison, arms that drag you to the depths of hell. I hated it.

Then I saw it.

_~Beck, I'm sorry~_

There, gripped loosely in his hands.

A knife.

Pure, undiluted terror, runs uncharted through me, as I let out a blood-curdling scream, clawing at the strong bands of flesh that restrain me. Struggling with everything I have to escape, to return, to my sweet haven.

_SAVE ME._

**A/N: okok, please tell me honestly: is it getting **_**too**_** dramatic? Too predictable, and too like: ughh not again, sighhhh… it had soo much potential and then it just fell):….cuz I've read some fanfics like that and end up just giving up halfway, because what happens is probably the same as other stuff I've read and chiz.. so yea… then I wondered about my own fanfic and I was like oh shiz! Is mine becoming like that? Which is actually why I've delayed this chapter (it was finished like on Mon/Tues)and also cuz I kinda lost my computer for a while… and my internet crashed…**

**Also what do u guys think is going to happen? Because, if u guys are too close, then I might have to switch things up a bit;)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! U know, it's honestly my best incentive… **

**Kimmy=)**

**ALSO: name of chapter dedicated to BananaBade for the awesome review she gave in chapter 20, she's like i think (CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG) the only one who complimented my chapter titles! LOVE YOU(: do u like the title if this chapter?  
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	24. Like Superman

**A/N: so…. If anyone is like still interested, after that ridiculously long and hideous break that was like more than a month maybe? *cough * sorry! * cough* **

**Anyways, excuses at the end, as usual, here's the next chapter. Sorry there're so many line breakage thingies, i hope it makes it easier to understand..  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: let's just say, I wish:P**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 24: Like Superman<span>

Finally.

It was warm again.

Bright.

Her mind was completely blank, all she knew: she was happy, content, and most importantly safe.

Like a baby swaddled by soft, thick, blankets, in the arms of her mother, who cooed down gently at her. All in their own world, an alternate reality.

Reality? No, wrong word, nothing that harsh… A fantasy. A perfect one.

But the word fantasy implied that it wasn't permanent.

It was okay though, Jade already knew, nothing lasted forever. So enjoy it while it lasts.

She just didn't know how harsh exactly the reality beyond this was going to be.

Something… s_hifted_.

The connection broke. The darkness was back.

No. _No._

A surge of fear erupted from nowhere, and there was a piercing cry. She couldn't lose that connection. Where had it gone? The warmth, the brightness… It was like a drug, and she was experiencing the withdrawal symptoms.

Then it was back, cooing again at her, and she could take in a breath. She settled down into that warmth, content once again.

* * *

><p>She woke up.<p>

The effects of it was almost jarring. Too many painful thoughts were there.

But so was he.

So she could bear it.

Jade reached for his hand, which responded immediately to her touch, winding his fingers around hers as he'd done for years. The familiarity of seeing the tan and pale together eased some of the tension away from her heart.

She looked around at her surroundings, he'd carried her back to the RV. Had circumstances been different, she would've been upset at the fact that she'd allowed herself to be physically carried, after all, she wasn't a child anymore. But now, she basked in his attention, his affection.

He looked solemnly down at their hands, seeing past their reunion, instead envisioning the harsh consequences of the what could've been. If the hands he now held had lost their warmth… He couldn't even go that far down right now. Not without completely breaking down. Not without screaming and crying and falling apart. And he of all people couldn't break down. He had to be strong.

For her.

The way she was now was unlike anything he'd seen before. Jade had become the one thing she never was, a coward. She was just so, so scared. Fragile. She had broke. Somehow. By the time he reached her house, she'd already locked herself in the bathroom. Her father was still half-heartedly pounding at the door. But he was so drunk, dealing with him was the easy part.

It was after that.

Jade had been trapped in a nightmare that she couldn't break out of.

* * *

><p><span>24hrs ago:<span>

Cat wandered around her house, looking for something to eat. She always seemed to crave sweet things when under stress. Particularly candy. Sitting at her kitchen table she peeled the first bright foil away, popping the tiny sweets into her mouth.

Don't worry so much Cat! She told herself, Jade's tough, she can handle herself. That's right, she always handles herself. She'll be just fine. She even promised to call if anything happened.

She checked her phone for what seemed like the millionth time.

The screen was blank save from a silly message or two from Robbie. She clicked the screen off, too tense to care less about what brand of cereal Robbie was eating.

She would be ok! Cat tried to smile. Definitely! Jade was tough, she'd make it through. She'll be okay, she chanted in her mind as she swept the colourful wrappers into the bin.

Jade is strong, Jade is strong. Nothing will happen, nothing will-

The phone rang.

She leapt at it, not bothering to look at the caller ID before picking up.

"Hello? Jade!" She gushed, the phone held to her ear like a lifeline.

There was a short pause on the line and Cat swore her heart nearly exploded.

"It's Beck."

And then she died.

"Oh," she said simply.

"Isn't Jade with you?" he asked her, his voice unusually quiet, maybe even angry. It didn't sound like him, and it scared Cat.

"Yeah! She is we were working on our science project, English project, sorry," she corrected herself. One hand squeezed her arm, her nails digging into her skin.

She remembered what Jade had told her: "_If Beck knew, he'd freak, he'd hate me!"_

"She went out to buy some popcorn because we were hungry," she improvised quickly, trying to sound innocent and convincing.

"I think her phone died or something. That's probably why she's not answering your call." She added. There, that should do it.

"I didn't call her Cat," now his voice sounded even harsher. Cat cringed, maybe improvising wasn't the best idea.

"She called me."

With that, her fingers went numb.

"She called you," she repeated.

"For a couple of seconds, but then the line went dead. When I tried to call back, no one answered. The phone is switched off now."

Oh God, oh God, this wasn't good. This wasn't supposed to happen. She swallowed nervously, starting to pace around the kitchen.

"Maybe she butt-dialed your number! And then she turned it off!"

"Cat," Oh shiz, he wasn't buying it. "Someone was screaming in the background."

This was bad… This was so bad! Ohmygod… it's so bad, nothing's funny anymore…

"She told me she'd call," she whispered, more to herself.

"What did you say?"

Oh Goddd! His voice sounded murderous.

"She said she'd call, she promised she'd call if anything happened, she's strong! This isn't supposed to happen! She said it wouldn't happen! She said so! She said so!" Cat was close to hysteric, her grip on the phone almost vice-like. Her knees were trembling too.

"Cat," Beck said simply. "Where is she?"

_"If Beck knew, he'd freak, he'd hate me!"_

Jade's voice floated out in her mind again. Her breaths came shorter and faster.

"She's _there _isn't she?" His accusing voice wasn't helping.

Biting her lips, she made her decision.

"I'm sorry Beck, she made me promise not to tell."

There was short pause.

"_Goddamit_ Jade!" he swore.

Then the line went flat.

'_It's okay Jade, Beck will never hate you. He loves you too much.' _ Cat thought to herself. It'd be fine, she started to chant again. Beck will rescue her. It'll be back to normal in no time.

* * *

><p>He probably broke about 20 different traffic laws to get to her house.<p>

He probably broke a couple more when he broke down her front door.

Considering George West was a judge, this might not exactly have been the best behavior to put forth. But honestly, at this point, who would've have rang the freakin' doorbell?

"JADE! JADEEEE!" He screamed. There was some kind of commotion upstairs, so that's where he headed for.

The stench hit him first. He was wasted. Disgusting as hell. There was vomit on the floor, and his face looked like shit.

"You can't hide in there forever Jadey," he kept taunting, his words slurring together. He was so drunk, he didn't even have the strength to stand up. Yet he kept bringing that revolting brown liquid to lips from the almost empty bottle about to join 3 others in the corner of the room. In shards.

He slopped against the door, and kept shouting at his daughter, some words indecipherable.

"Get the hell away from that door." Beck said, in barely restrained fury.

"Slowly his head turned to face him. His eyes, Beck could see now, were bloodshot, and murderous.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" he yelled, but the alcohol made it sound something like: whoareyounwhayadoinmehouse!

Beck nearly laughed at the incredulity of the situation. His Jade? His badass don't-mess-with-me attitude Jade? Scared of him? This pathetic shell of a man, who couldn't even articulate his words, much less even stand up. He couldn't stand it. It demeaned her to be related to someone like this. It utterly _disgraced_ her.

He couldn't stand it.

The things that he'd done to her.

He couldn't stand it.

The things he'd made her feel.

He couldn't stand it.

The things she'd let go of for him.

He couldn't stand it.

Because of him, she was constantly so insecure, so harsh, so heartbroken.

_He'd pay it all back. _

"This is the guy who scares you Jade?" Beck asked not really expecting an answer, his voice so calm it surprised even himself.

He watched as he struggled to get a decent footing.

"This is the guy who hit you?"

"Get away!" he tried to land a blow on him, but missed entirely.

"Who messed you up? Time and time again?"

Unable, to hold it in anymore, he drew his arm back and swung, satisfied with the crack of his jaw.

George West let out a string of f-bombs and other obscenities. Clutching at his jaw.

Beck felt a sense of relief, like a shaken coke bottle who's cap had been twisted open by just half of a millimetre and he could push out some of that hurt and agony he felt inside.

"This is the guy who drives you to my house at 3 in the morning?"

Another punch, this time up his chin, followed by a swift kick to his gut.

"You're gonna pay for this! You're gonna-" and another.

"HELP! THERE'S A CRAZY GUY IN MY HOUSE!" George tried desperately, trying to back away, only to realize he was cornered.

There was no mercy in Beck's eyes.

"This is the guy you secretly still love?"

And then he didn't even know what he was doing to him. Only that he had to keep inflicting pain on him. He had to release that pressure, punching and kicking and pushing. Grabbing anything he got his hands on to throw at him. This useless son of a bitch needed to understand what he felt, what he made Jade feel, he needed a taste of his own medicine.

"Please stop, please stop please, please, please," he whimpered.

"This… thing," he spat in his face. "Is your father?" His voice cracked.

Beck broke down, his back sliding down the corridor walls.

"Jesus Jade, I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry." His hands covered his face, trying to control his breathing. It was just too much to handle.

Until the bloody lump of meat started to move again, with a weak yet determined roar.

He saw a glint of metal.

Shit.

He had a knife.

No, no, no. That had to draw a line somewhere. It had to, it had to…

Yet once again, he lunged, the knife missing Beck by an inch.

Beck feinted making a grab for it, instead grabbed a chair to knock down his legs. The knife cluttered from his hand, as he needed 2 to hold of his fall.

Beck picked it up, there didn't seem to be any blood on it. Thank God_. Thank God._

"Get outta here." He told George, and when he didn't move, Beck brandished the knife against him. "Out!" he snarled.

With that he half crawled, half limped out of the estate.

_Good riddance. _

The knife fell to the ground. Like opposite poles of a magnet, holding that vile weapon seemed to repulse him. How could anyone do this to their own daughter? How could anyone physically wield that kind of thing without feeling like they were getting stabbed as well? How could anyone hurt her? How? _How?_ My Jade…. My kick-ass Jade…

Jade.

It suddenly occurred to him. If he had a knife now, he must have had a knife then.

Jade, Jade, Jade.

She could be bleeding to death in that bathroom for all he knew.

"JADE!" he yelled, running back to the hallway bathroom, pounding on the door.

There was no answer, everything was deathly silent.

"JADE! It's me! Beck!" he yelled again. "Open up!" Again, no answer. Not a sound.

This time he tried the knob.

Like how a button can trigger a bomb, or shift in the Earth's plates can cause 8 meter tsunamis. The sound of the doorknob clicking became the catalyst that set her off.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" came a piercing shriek from inside the room.

The click had scared her. Scared her shitless. He was coming back, he was coming back. And then he was going to kill her, he was going to kill Beck too. She didn't want to die, but worst than that she didn't want Beck to die. He couldn't die. He was the light. The light couldn't just shut down. Then everything would just… end.

Her breathing came faster and faster yet she still kept screaming.

Outside he started to panic too.

"JADE! JADE! You're safe! Please Jade!" he yelled again, pounding on the solid door trying to break in. "Please listen to me! JADE!"

He could hear her, she was crying. She was crying so hard, whimpering in pain. But all he could do was listen.

"Jade! JADE!"

She just wasn't listening. Her sobs were nearing hysterical now. They would kill Beck! No! They can't. What if they do? I can't protect him. I CAN'T protect him! Why can't I protect him! He's always protecting me. Always, always, always. Where is he now? What if he's here and he kills him. Her hands wrapped around her face, her knees tucked to her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible.

_I just want him, so much…_

"Beck," she whispered, "Beck come find me, come save me," she prayed to herself.

"Beck, Beck," she sobbed rocking herself back and forth, aware of how selfish she was being, "BECCKKKKK!" came her next shriek, undeniably agonized.

Something shattered within him.

"I'M HERE!" he pounded on the door with all his strength, "I'M HERE! GODDAMIT JADE! I WON'T LET HIM TOUCH YOU!" He screamed, half sobbing now. "I'M HERE JADE! Please don't cry. I'm here! I'm here, Jesus, save us." He cried out. He had to see her, touch her, run his fingers through his hair and kiss her to sleep. He had to hold her, so tightly she'd never be able to escape ever again, so tight, nothing would ever be able to touch her. He needed her to know he was there for her, no matter what. "Jade, Jade, Jade." His hand stroked the wood of the door, as if it could bring its keeper some sort of comfort. "Please, let me in." he choked out.

The sobbing seemed to calm down slightly, her breathing evening out.

"I need you Jade," He went on, leaning his forehead against the door, his fingers uselessly scratching at the smooth surface. "I love you."

Thank the heavens she was.

He was here, she could sense it… This warmth that somehow enveloped her, couldn't be anything but him. Beck was here.

Maybe she should've known, despite the fact she tried to hide everything from him that he'd come. He was like superman. He always saved the day.

He always saved her.

Almost like a dream, she opened the door, and he caught her as she fell out and into him, his waiting arms.

He stroke her face, her arms, her back, every inch of her skin, slowly, savouringly, just to be sure it was all there. That she was really here in front of him. He held her tighter than he though possible, relishing in the full contact. Jade breathed a contented sigh. Then as her eyes opened to see the mess of her house, crashed, in pieces, a horrifying thought came into her mind:

If he always saved her,

Who would save him?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm like half terrified that you're all not gonna review cuz you're pissed at me, and half terrified that I'm gonna get flamed because this didn't live up to whatever fight scene you envisioned in your head. I'm sorry if it didn't! give me a suggestion on how it could've been, I'd love to know. **

**Ok excuse: I WAS OUT OF THE COUNTRY! For nearly 3 weeks! And I came back with food poisoning (puked like half my stomach out and I lost like 4 kg! WOO HOO!:) and had 4 papers in the next week to study for… Plus a STACK of homework. UGH. It. Was. Torture. **

**And ok I left you on a clift hanger, a pretty BIG cliffhanger… so oh God I'm so sorry!**

**Anyways REVIEW if you love Beck! Or if you don't! which means everyone, cuz you either do or don't:) and you most likely do:P admit it…**

**Thanks to everyone who actually does review, and who actually reads my A/Ns :) you guys make me smile:D **


	25. New Perspectives

**A/N: oh God, so happy this chapter is over. And as usual, I'm terribly sorry for the wait, I literally did not sleep all night writing this out, so forgive any typos… **

**I was traveling again, after that horrible last few weeks of school with like a hundred different tests… And did I mention I was in the school production? Talk about tiring… **

**Also I did some more traveling. **

**Any Spanish reading this? Cuz you guys have a**** beautiful ****country. O. M. G. and the shopping is fabulous, just FABULOUS. If you haven't shopped in Barcelona you totally should. And Gaudi is like the God of art, his houses were like U. N. B. E. L. I. E. V. A. B. L. E. La Sagrada Familia was the coolest church I've ever been in… Te Amo to all of you:D also, is it just me or do the Spanish say the word 'perfect' a lot(it's so cool…) Like I swear the receptionist said it like 3 times in one conversation (yeah I counted. seriously.)**

**Enjoy! ! ! ! !**

Disclaimer: If it was mine, they'd be together, simple as that.

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><p><span>Chapter 25: New Perspectives.<span>

He left her once, just to get homework and classwork missed from Cat. He didn't even leave far, or long. Cat was outside of his door, holding the large pile of menacing white papers. Yet Beck didn't even make it that far, his hand barely brushed the door handle when she started screaming, a small cry at first, escalating into volumes that if he didn't handle would send even his mother down to check on. Of course he'd hurried back to her on their small couch. And once back in his presence she calmed immediately. He stroked her hair, soothing and loving. And seeing her lying like a baby swaddled in his arms, he couldn't quite believe he actually left her in the first place, even if it was to get their homework.

He texted Cat to leave the pile outside, and assured her everything was fine. Then turned his attention back on her. He could see her mini nightmare had passed, peace colouring her features now. He could even feel it spreading to himself. But once she woke up, it was completely different.

He'd seen it in her eyes sometimes, like looking into the world of dead, tired, frustrated, hopeless, mostly after one of those days with her father. It lasted a few days at most. Before she regained her usual attitude. Yet this time it was different, there were times he looked right into her stormy eyes, and he saw nothing. Really nothing… And when he looked even deeper, he could catch a flicker of emotion: guilt.

He couldn't understand it. He couldn't ask. Not yet at least, any fool could tell she wasn't ready.

So for days, they lazed in bed. She did her homework, he watched. She ate and he watched. She watched TV without really seeing, and he just watched her. The expression, 'I can't take my eyes off you,' came to her mind, not in a good way though. In a, I wish you didn't way. But she just felt so heavy. The thunder clouds beneath her eyes were still there, and if anyone else but Beck so much as look at her, she wasn't sure what she would do, what she was capable of. She didn't want to talk about it, but she knew he needed to know. She didn't want to do much of anything either, but under his watchful eye, she did as told, eating, reading, doing whatever else. Sleeping was easy, as long as he was there.

Slowly she could feel the darkness ebbed away from her mind, but it wouldn't keep still. No, it was as if, the shadows that left her, had clung themselves onto Beck now. She knew, she could see it happening, as her eyes grey brighter, his grew darker. Her father's words still rang in her head. And she tried, she really did try, but her lips just wouldn't form the words, her legs wouldn't let her go.

If she left now, she didn't know how she would ever be able to sleep again, live again, eat again. Without his presence, she felt so empty.

She would be okay, eventually. But first she needed time.

Time to forgive, and forget.

Time to recreate another happy scene in her mind, to formulate another excuse for the lack of love in her family.

Beck needed time too.

He needed _her_ time. Times when she was still sane enough to remind him why he still loved her.

Right now, that wasn't an option.

She opened her mouth in a last ditch attempt to say it. Inhale, exhale. She still couldn't. "Please don't leave," she said instead.

"I'm not going anywhere."

'You should,' she thinks to herself, 'You should run.'

Because Jade is scared, she is so scared she feels like curling up in a ball and never waking up.

But contrary to what she knew Beck thought, she wasn't scared of what her father had done to her. She wasn't the kind of girl who was scared of dying. She knows it's inevitable, it's inevitable for everyone.

Even for Beck.

That fact alone, was scarier than her father. The prospect of living without Beck made living with her father like a cotton candy dream.

It had been there, in that godforsaken bathroom where she realized that she loved Beck way too much for her own good.

And his.

And the nightmares. God the nightmares. They shook her up _so bad_, it was like someone was trying to rip her heart out. That awful pain she felt in her chest was so much to bear.

Jade had been forced to watch Beck die, in a thousand nasty different versions her mind had conjured. Always a different method, a different weapon, and always, always, cruel. A puddle of blood, blank, brown eyes, and that eerie, eerie cold, that seemed so unreal, because Beck was always warm. His touch could set her skin on fire, his embrace could melt her heart. Regardless of the outside temperature, he was always warmer than her. But in those nightmares, he was always like ice, still, _lifeless._

It had wrecked her.

She'd realized in that tiny toilet that day, she'd gladly give her life for his.

But now he was here, how could she give up the one thing she was so afraid of losing?

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><p>She woke up again after another nightmare, this one had been particularly horrible and she screamed into a pillow to muffle the sound. Breathing deeply to calm herself, she looked around.<p>

He wasn't here.

Why wasn't he here?

Memories rushed back in, the blood and the screaming, hers and his both. She grasped at her head, as if suqeezing it could push the darkness away, _don't think about it, don't think about it._

_Where was he?_

She rushed out grabbing a light cardigan. But he'd just been outside the RV. Sitting there, his knees drawn up, his head resting on one of them.

"I don't know, I really don't know!" he was saying into his phone, his voice, close to breaking "All I do know is that I don't think I could do it anymore if she wasn't here."

His words were so shockingly similar to how he felt. "What?" she spoke, her voice slicing the night air. He looked up at her, at her messy hair and red eyes.

"Call you back Cat," he said into the phone. "Jade woke up." He hung up, slotting his phone into his pockets.

"Go back inside babe, it's cold."

"No." Her voice was stronger than she felt.

"Go Jade." He said firmly.

"No! What did you tell Cat?"

"Nothing, now please, get back inside."

"It wasn't nothing!" she screamed despite herself. "You said," Jade continued in a softer tone, aware of the time. "You said, 'I don't think I could do it anymore if she wasn't here.' Am I the 'she'?"

"Who else?" he whispered, holding her, because he knew she was getting cold. She wasn't even wearing shoes.

"What did you mean?" Her voice was as cold as the air surrounding us.

"I meant what I said," he pulled away to give her a soft smile. "If you go, I'll be right behind you."

She took a step back, "You're not really saying that."

"I am, Jade."

"You mean you would've _killed_ yourself if-"

"If you had died in that bathroom? I don't know Jade, but it's definitely a viable option." He finished for her, his voice hard. His face completely serious.

"_No!"_ she shook her head, taking a few more steps back, "What's wrong with you Beck? You're 16! It's not an option _at all_!" she ranted, screaming at him, her arm wrapped around her own middle, trying to keep it together. "Don't you _ever_ say that again! You _cannot_ say that! _How_ could you say that?"

"You don't have a right to tell me what I can or cannot say Jade," he interrupted all of a sudden, his voice tainted with anger. "You've never felt that feeling, that terror that _gripped_ me when you were behind that door." He walked forward, taking both her arms with his. "That _sheer _agony I felt when you were screaming, that complete helplessness when you didn't open it." He let go, taking a deep breath, then his hands reached to her, caressing her face, holding it like the most expensive piece of china, like his most precious treasure.

"I. Can't. Lose. You."

Fresh tears flowed down her face from the raw emotions of what was said. She did, she did understand, because it was the _same terror_ that gripped her in _all those nightmares_. The _same agony and hopelessness_ she'd felt every time she finally reached him but it was _too late_. She could understand now, his constant over protectiveness, his constant need to know she was safe. Which is why she wondered how he could forgive her for what she'd done, for lying to him, for basically throwing herself into danger.

She wanted to tell him, tell him she knew the feeling, and most importantly, that she was _so_, _so_ sorry. But how could she without first explaining how selfish she was?

"You won't," she promised instead, burying her head in his shirt. "So don't go without me."

Suddenly something inside him snapped, "_Damn it _Jade."

All that need and desperation they'd held pent up within them suddenly erupted. Both her hands slithered up his chest, around his neck, twisting knots into his hair, as she pulled herself up, wrapping both legs around his waist, relishing in the full contact. He backed her up against the frame of his RV, his lips traced a path from her collar bone to her jaw line, just… savouring. She released a shuddery breath, her head rolled back, bumping into the window.

One arm held her up, the other snaked it's way around her face, cupping her cheek. He pulled her head down, and their lips met. Like fire and ice, they met with a hiss, drowning in each other, drowning in their overflowing need and desire and lust and oh God… they just needed to be sure that they were here, in each others arms, together.

A dog barking snapped them out of their trance. Their lips slowly, unwillingly, parted. They both knew they couldn't be doing this, not here anyways.

Without a word, he lifted her up, carrying her like a koala bear back into their metal haven.

**A/N: okay, so another reason why it's taken me so long to update is cuz I've been working on oneshots, two actually, one's sorta ready but I'm just shy:P the other is kinda long (I'm at 6000 words) and both about 'the worst couple/tori goes for platinum' I just CAN'T STAND THAT THEY AREN'T TOGETHER. Oh my God… the whole show isn't RIGHT when they're not dating. IT'S NOT RIGHT DAN-.-**

**I couldn't even bear watching another show after Tori Goes Platinum, which was only good because of Cat(u gotta love her she's too funny). I'm like so pissed at Beck now, words can't describe, which is why I feel like I'm making a whole new Beck in my story (I've ALWAYS wanted a guy to carry me like a koala bear, bridal style is overrated, koala bears are like how someone would carry a baby or a kid when they're younger, it's like HUGGING without STANDING! Okok enough ranting)**

**REVIEW! (LIKE SERIOUSLY) especially if you find this chapter confusing...  
><strong>

**DON'T FAVOURITE OR ALERT WITHOUT REVIEWING! ! ! (if you have already, it's not too late:)**

**THANK YOUUUUUUU**

**KIMMY;)**


	26. Promise

**A/N: HEYY! So, it's been a while again, another coupla' weeks…/: I've been busy travelling. I'm sorry, I truly am, I've just had a 4AM flight to Buenos Aires, and tomorrow I've got another 6AM flight to Rio. And it's also pretty cold. Ok I'll cut the long ANs:P enjoy! And more apologies. **

**ALSO: SHOUT OUT TO Lil'Red32 she gave me like a 600 over word review way back in chapter 23, love her:D**

**Disclaimer: victorious isn't mine. **

Chapter 26: Promise 

She woke up to his finger tracing the alphabet on her back. Instinctively, her body curved, snuggling closer to him, relishing in the warmth, and the contact. Her eyes didn't want to open quite yet, and give up this blissful moment. Instead she turned, so her forehead rested against his chest, eyes hidden by her hair. His arms adapted to her new position immediately, draping over and around her, pulled her tight against him.

"Hey," he whispered to her.

The ends of her lips tugged into smile, "Hey."

He dipped down for a kiss. "It's nearly 4 in the morning."

"Our body clocks are so messed up." She said, her eyes opening before pulling up for another one, he looked as good as always. "I haven't brushed yet."

"Have I ever cared about that?" he murmured, brushing her hair away.

"Have I ever not?" she pushed him away gently but he grabbed her arm again, pulling her back.

"I can think of a few times," he said before pressing his lips against hers.

Against her better judgment, she kissed him back, her arms wrapping around his neck again.

It was a long moment before he broke it off, pulling away, a cheeky grin on his face. "Let's do something," his lips returned before she could ask. "Get dressed," he murmured against her skin, "Or we'll never leave this bed."

Jade reached for his shirt with a smirk, "Can I wear this?"

"You'd take it even if I said no," he raised his eyebrow.

She shrugged, "True, I wear it better anyways," she said slipping it on.

"True," he grinned. "Let's go!" he hurried her impatiently.

"Beck! It's still dark out, where the hell are we going?" she asked, grabbing her jacket.

"You'll see."

"I hate surprises."

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><p>"You're bringing me swimming?" she asked incredulous, staring at the large body of water in front of her. They'd driven out for almost an hour to a gigantic mansion place, where he'd parked the car and then helped her over then fence.<p>

"You like swimming!" he protested, pulling his shirt off in one fluid motion.

"Beck, who's pool is this?" she asked suspiciously, turning to face him.

"My… neighbours?" he answered sheepishly.

"Your, neighbours?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Friends of my parents' friends. They left for vacation." Beck clarified.

Jade scoffed, "And so you thought, oh! Let's break in!" she said in a high pitched accent.

"Pretty much." He shrugged.

She stared at him for a long while, trying to see if he was seriously for real. "We just broke into a mansion," she said slowly, as if breaking it into simple sentences would make him understand.

"I think I heard you the first time." He told her simply, still grinning. She stopped and looked back to the pool. It was pretty damn big, and she kinda, sorta really felt like swimming now. With Beck.

"Beck… We could get arrested," she tried one last time. He took one look at her wistful eyes and knew he won.

"Since when are you so responsible?"

She let out a short laugh, smiling too, "You know it's like 65 degrees out here."

"I know," he replied, and then his tone turned dangerously sly, "Hey Jade,"

"What?" she turned back to him, her eyes widening as he takes in his cheeky grin. "Beck," she warned, slowly backing away. "Beck." He moved towards her slowly cornering her to the pool, "BECK!" she slapped his arms away, but he just grabbed her, "BECK!" she screamed, as he picked her up over his shoulders, and promptly dropping her into the pool.

"OHMYGOD!" she yelled resurfacing, sputtering out water and pushing her dark hair back, "You DID NOT just do that!" she seethed, glaring at him.

He was doubled over in laughter, he tried to answer, but dissolved into giggles instead at her annoyed face.

"You IDIOT!" she shouted again, "I'm not even CHANGED yet!" she continued to glare. He kicked some water into her face, bursting out laughing as she wiped it furiously. "Stop laughing." She crossed her arms, "It's not funny." He didn't stop. "I'm FREEZING here!" she screamed at him.

That got to him immediately, he stopped laughing "It's supposed to be heated."

"You call this heated! Get me outta here," she cried out, reaching her arms out.

Honestly, he should've known, he should have spotted her signature smirk immediately when his arm locked on hers. It was the oldest trick in the book really. So really, there was no reason for him to have emerged out of the water sputtering, with a shocked look on his face when she pulled him into the pool. In fact he was rather disappointed, if he recalled correctly, the last time him and the gang were at the pool, he was the only one that no one could push or pull in! It was a honorable record! Many had tried but he'd never fallen for anything. A loud laugh interrupted his brooding. He turned to her in shock.

She was really laughing, not the soft chuckle or a sly smirk, not even the artificial hahas. She was full out laughing, grabbing her sides and bending over slightly. She paused catching a breath, then looked at him, and went back to laughing, throwing her head back.

He rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but smile, at times like this she was really like a child. At times like this, he really loved her.

"Okay, okay, you got me," he admitted, when her laughter seemed to never end, "You can stop laughing now!

"Your hair!" she cried out, between laughs.

Now he just grinned, shaking his head and spraying water everywhere like a dog.

"Stop it! God Beck!" she exclaimed, splashing water back at him.

He pushed her head underwater dunking her, with a smirk, only for him to fall under too as she pulled his foot from underneath. "You," he accused, narrowing his eyes playfully. Jade surprised him sticking his tongue out.

Definitely like a child.

They splashed water everywhere, at each other, with their hands, their feet, their hair. Shrieks of laughter rang out around the pool, he tickled her, she messed his hair up, they both made faces at each other, and then splashed more water. That estate was so big no one would hear them anyways. They took turns doing freestyle jumps into the water and ranking themselves out of 10. Needless to say Beck never scored anything above a 4. Jade was all 9 and 10s. He spoiled her sometimes. They chased each other across the water, screaming when he grabbed her, and trying to kick away despite her heavy clothes. Then they had mini races and made obstacle courses from the colourful floats they found by the pool. He says he let her win. She claims it was her superior skills. No one else was there to judge anyway.

It was the best fun they'd had in forever. It seemed to her like paradise had come out of nowhere, and a part of her was probably afraid it'd disappear just as fast.

Then suddenly, he was gone, and it was like her nightmare had come alive. "Beck?" she swished around, it was still too dark to see underneath the surface of the water. "Beck?" she called out again, her voice rising in hysteria. Abruptly she was pulled down, by a warm arm, and hand reached to caress her face gently, bringing it closer, pressing their lips together.

An underwater kiss? She thought, He was so cliché, but she guesses that's part of why she loved him.

Surfaced breathless and panting, her legs wrapped around his waist, unwilling to part with him, her legs wouldn't reach the ground, not here in the deep end anyways. Her head rested against the plane of his chest, and she regained her breath, to the beat of his heart.

"You scared me," she murmured.

He answered with a soft kiss. "You know how irresistible you look in wet clothes?" he whispered against your ear. She smirked. But his lips captured hers again before she could think of a witty comeback. It was a long while before either of them spoke, allowing them both to relax after all the excitement.

"Hey Jade," he called softly resting his head on her shoulder. "Let's just stay like this forever, I don't care anymore." His words carried more and more urgency, "You don't ever have to go back," his arms tightened around her.

There was a pause before she spoke. "Okay," her short answer shocked him, "We'll stay like this forever," she agreed, wrapping her arms around him as well. "I won't go back. I promise."

"Jade," his hand reached to brush her hair.

"I'm sick of it too!" she interrupted him pressing her face into his wet hair. "I don't care either."

"Jade, you-" his eyes widened suddenly as droplets of water began to slowly fall around them. "It's raining."

She rolled her eyes, "No shit Sherlock."

The tiny droplets escalated into sheets of water. "Let's get outta here," he said pulling her up.

"We gonna break into their house too?" she asked, jumping slightly to keep warm, wrapping the towel (they stole those too) around her tighter.

"Why not?" he looked at her with a sly grin.

They found themselves both in the gigantic master bathroom, where they sat in the equally gigantic white tub listening to the pitter patter of the raindrops against the cold window.

She found herself shivering slightly as the thunder boomed. A warm arm brought her closer the very next second.

"I'm tired now," she stated, yawning to emphasize, then leaning her head against him.

"Take a short nap," he told her, getting up, "I'll get us some coffee," he smiled.

She inhaled sharply, her hand snaking up and grabbing his without warning. "Don't go." He turned back, and saw the fear return in her eyes. He squatted down again, holding her face with both his hands. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Then the tears streamed down her face, "No! If you go I won't be able to sleep," she shook her head, "I won't, I won't and then I'll remember again." She whispered to herself.

His eyes narrowed as his fingers wiped her tears away. It was time to get it out anyways.

"Then come with me, let's go."

**A/N: I hope you'll forgive me cuz this chapter's fluffy:D and if u haven't alrd go check out Liz Gillies and Max Schneider's cover of 'Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane. It's so good! **

**REVIEW PLEASE**

**It motivates me**

**I got few reviews last time. It was kinda sad… But I made u wait so long. So I get it. But could you still review even though I disappointed you with the slow updates? It would make my day:) **

**kimmy~(heart)**


	27. The Last Confession

**A/N: not for the first time, I realize I am a horrible, late, amazingly annoying, author that never ever updates on time despite my promises, and yet can constantly beg for reviews…**

**My end of year exams just ended last Wednesday and on Thursday I was forced to go through the worst camp ever. Ever slept in a puddle before? I've slept in a **_**pond**_**, which somehow manifested in my tent. Anyways now that I've hopefully gone through most of the crap I have to this year, updates should be faster. SHOULD be. I know, you guys hate me…**

**I'M SORRY. **

**Anyways ENJOY and sorry again for hideously long wait and AN…**

Disclaimer: UGH at the rate it's going I don't even WANT to own it-.-

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><p><span>Chapter 27: The Last Confession<span>

They'd left the pool nearly two hours ago, making it nearly 9. People were beginning to wake up in LA, school had started a while ago. Yet the rain showed no signs of stopping, in fact the storm had actually grew darker since their fun exploit of the mansion.

She took slow sips of her coffee, letting the hot drink warm her body up, it helped that she was leaning against Beck too, seated comfortably between his legs, and that his arms surrounded her gently, his head resting softly on her shoulder. It was probably her favourite position in the world, second only to when his lips were on hers. But now she was content to just lay here, swathed by his presence, his fingers tracing his name and hers together, across her ivory skin over and over.

She hummed a familiar melody, one of those songs everyone could follow but had a forgotten name. In the echoey silence of the car it sounded like a lullaby, the sweetest refrain. His eyes closed as he listened to her beautiful voice, one he could pick out from anywhere and anyone. One so uniquely hers. He let out his own sigh, content as well. It brought a small smile to her face, as she hummed the final note. His eyes opened and he leaned back to look at her. He was still waiting.

It took another few moments for her to start.

"Jade," he'd coaxed, pulling her head towards him to rest his, when he saw her eyes were still anxious and wild. "It's all okay, you don't have to tell me,"

She took a deep breath, her eyes fluttering close, "No, I do, its just I, I don't know where to start."

He exhaled almost roughly, the quiet peace dissipated, "Start at the beginning. Why'd you go?" he asked, his tone coming out harsher than expected, "Why did you lie to me?" he said, wincing even as he spoke those words. He felt her cringe too.

Her words came out softly first, hesitantly, " My mother, texted me," her fingers fidgeted with her near empty coffee cup, "She told me to be home, that there were no excuses..." she swallowed, he allowed her to continue without interruption. "I didn't want to go, but, I was scared, I didn't think much would happen, I didn't think much at all. It didn't even appeal to me that I could defy him," as the words tumbled out of her mouth she began to realize how screwed up her whole situation was. She let out a short chuckle without humour, "I'm so messed up, aren't I?" she shook her head softly.

He didn't say a word, but laid a kiss on her temple. Letting her know he was still there. She took a deep breath before she began again, "The house was silent when I entered," and now her fingers held her coffee so tightly, it left dents in the cup and nail scratches all over the styrofoam. "They weren't home Beck, they knew what he was gonna do to me so they left, so no one could interfere. They left him with me. They didn't care what he could've done to me," tears we're streaming down her face at this point. She wiped at them frantically, but he just shushed her, holding her shaking hands in his, kissing away her tears.

"Beck, my father, he, had a knife," she told him, whispering the last word like a curse. Her head was now safely nestled in the crook of his neck, her arm draped over his shoulders. Her grip tightened as she went on. "I could've died and they wouldn't have given a damn!" she cried out. Slamming her fist against the seat of the chair as more and more tears flowed down her cheeks. "When he caught me... I-  
>Beck went completely still, confusing her slightly, as she'd been expecting his arms to tighten around her. He didn't even look at her, fixing his hard gaze on the windows instead. His features turned ice cold, fingers slowly curling into a fist. "Beck..." she said, holding his face in her hands. He looked away. "If you want me to stop I can st-"<p>

"Don't stop," he said grabbing her hand suddenly, bringing it closer to him. "Keep going," he continued after a breath.

"I tried my hardest to make him let go, I swear I did," she buried her face back into his chest. "I think I bit his arm and then I shoved him into the wall, but he was still coming, still there and he was blocking the door so I ran up, I don't know why I did I probably could've made it out if I tried but I was too scared I'm sorry, Beck," she lifted her face. "Beck," she called again, "Look at me, I'm sorry."

His gaze slowly turned back to her, the look in his eyes murderous now. "Beck?" concerned now, she knew she couldn't be the cause for that dark intent behind those brown orbs.

"I shouldn't have let him run. I should've killed him," he said his voice almost shaky with an undercurrent of hatred, her expression changed to that of shock. "I should've stabbed him with that own freakin knife. I should have. I should have." He went on blurting it out, his eyes changing from angry to desperate. "Jade..."

"What do you mean?" she cut his last sentence short, her question sharp in the air, slicing the tension neatly into 2. "You told me he'd gone by the time you came?" she accused, widening the space between them, "You told me you never saw him!" She cried out voice rising with each line, nearly in hysterics by the last, "You're the one that made him leave weren't you?!"

"I probably put him I the hospital..." He admitted quietly. Then looked up seriously, placing his hands around her neck, "But he could've put you in the _morgue_."

"He could've put YOU in the morgue! He could have put you in jail! He's a friggin LAWYER!" she yelled back, her own eyes turning desperate, "What if he'd HURT you?!" her fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt, still trying to make him understand.

Beck opened his mouth to speak but Jade didn't let him. "He cornered me but I locked myself in the bathroom and I tried to ignore the pounding on the door, I thought I'd gotten past the worst of it, that I would be safe. I thought I could call you and you could get me, and then everything would be over again, you'd save me like superman and I'd fall into your arms like the pathetic damsel in distress I've always been, but do you know what he said?"

She looked him in the eye, tears ran down her cheek at this point, eyes wide and watery, frightened and panicked. He couldn't find his voice. "He said," she whispered in a voice barely audible to his ears, "calling that boyfriend of yours? Go ahead, I'll beat him right up and you can watch him bleed to death when I throw him in with you," Jade's eyes never strayed from his, so he knew just how hard it had been to say what she'd just said. Without any words he pulled her to him, pressing her hard against his chest, letting her sob it out, "I hung up on you because you have no idea how much that scared me. I don't want to be the damsel in freakin distress anymore, so you should stop trying to save me. You have no idea how many nightmares I've had where I've had to watch you, hear you, being tortured screaming and then dying, and in my dreams you kept cursing me! I'd watch my own father rip you apart piece by piece with that smirk on his face, and then agonized look on yours, and then as you slowly bled to death, you'd crawl to me, your last words saying I'd brought it down on you, and really I have no right to keep you now..."her breathing hitched as she tried to take in a breath, "Beck, I know I'm selfish but please please don't leave me."

He waited for her to calm herself before he spoke. "I'm perfectly fine, I'm not saying I'm always going to be perfectly fine, but I sure as hell won't let your bastard of a father lay a hand on me or you, ever again." He made her look up before he continued. "I'm not going anywhere Jade. Not even if you tell me to. Not even if you scream and hit me and _beg _me to go. Not even if you bitched about everything for weeks in a row, or have an insult backed up to every sentence that comes out of my mouth. Not even if your whole family is messed up and of they threatened me about anything. Not even of you're messed up. Not even if you grow old and ugly and lose your beautiful voice. Not even then. I'll still be here, so you can forget the thought of me ever leaving."

And then she knew, as she gave a shaky laugh of gratitude, everything would be alright.

And then she knew, as she looked up into those brown eyes, warm and loving, unlike her dreaded nightmares, they'd be together forever.

"And for the record babe, Superman? Please, Louis Lane's got nothing on you."

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><p><strong>AN: Um.. review? Please? I love you forever and ever and will be eternally grateful if you do?**

**like how I love Lil'Red32 and her long reviews. Also EquinoxKnight01 whom I love so much (your review btw, was like THE best review I've ever gotten,) his reviews r just INCREDIBLE u gotta hand it to him… **

**and yes i am aware, echoey is not really a word:P  
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**PLEASE review. Even if you hate me for updating late...  
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	28. A New Problem

**A/N: So…I'M BACK! ….sorryy… I know, I say this every time but I really am… I hit a major writing block after chapter 27… and only got back after my brother inspired this new idea:) I wrote this in like 2 days so forgive any grammatical or spelling errors. I love you if you're still reading! **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

Chapter 28: New Problem.

That same blaring alarm of his had woken her up for 3 weeks now. He reckoned it was a new record. 3 weeks, 15 school days. Impressive. He stared at the 21 day old shiny alarm clock nodding in approval, maybe this clock was the one.

"Ughh…" she groaned turning the pillow over her head again, as each annoying shrill of the machine threatened to steal away her precious connection with this bed.

"Hey sleepy head," he said nudging her head with a coffee mug. He received another tired moan in reply. "You want coffee?" he asked her with a knowing smile, he'd long since perfected the art of waking her up. Beck shook the cup slightly, letting the aroma fill the room. No response. He grinned again, he could tell she was trying not to be tempted, but that would last oh, say another 7 seconds. 6, 5 she stirred, 4, she sat up, 3 she turned to glare at Beck, 2 she huffed, 1.

"Gimme that cup," she growled.

He just laughed eliciting yet another complaint from her girlfriend, but gave her the coffee anyways.

"You have 10 minutes," he informed her throwing her jacket on the bed, "And it's cold out."

"Mmmm," was all she said, still huddled in the blanket, clutching the mug with both hands.

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><p>"JadeJadeJadeJade!" Cat called out bounding down the school stairs to the school locker area.<p>

"What?" she answered irritably, closing her locker as she did so.

"You're late again!" she scolded.

"I don't care."

"Guess what we did!" she yelled anyways.

"Sikowitz made you all speak like French people."

"Nope! We did accents!" she enthused.

Jade just looked at her for a long moment before conceding to her logic. Cat giggled.

"Coffee's here," Beck announced, slipping an arm around his girlfriend.

"Thank God," she said taking the cup. It was already her third cup today, but hey, too much coffee could never be a bad thing.

"Come on Jade! I want to show you this new app I got!" Cat grabbed her hand pulling her away from Beck.

"Show Robbie!" Jade tried, but Cat already had her mind set. She turned to give Beck a 'help me now!' look but he just shrugged helplessly. Honestly, what a hopeless boyfriend she had.

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><p>It'd been 3 months and 3 weeks since she last contacted anyone with the last name West. As far as she was concerned she didn't have a father or a mother. Only a distant younger brother she occasionally met up with for ice-cream. Secret meetings that neither West parents knew about. She never grieved much over the loss of love in her family, not after that day in the pool with Beck.<p>

She had Beck. She had Cat and Andre and to a certain extent I guess Robbie was her friend too. Even her relationship with Tori was slowly healing. After she'd apologized and chiz of course. She'd long gotten over her crush with Beck too.

Things were sorted and normal. At least as normal as could be in Hollywood Arts. They still went on crazy adventures, did stupid things, and took on worthless bets with their favourite teacher.

Jade now lived permanently in that small RV. But neither one complained, and Cat always welcomed her to her house if she wanted to come. She'd bought enough clothes to make up for the ones she left behind in that house. There was practically nothing left for her there, and she wouldn't go back, not ever.

They had stayed away as well, no more texts or calls from her mother, no response for parent teacher meetings, no nothing. But it was okay. She was completely fine without them.

Things were supposed to be good from now on. No more worries, no more thick layers of foundation and concealers. Fights about her safety and his over protectiveness was gone. Arguments because of her jealousy and possessiveness were back, rocks were thrown, coffee was splashed, time outs were given and heavy make-out makeup had ensued in the janitor's room.

Yet things hardly ever went as they should in Hollywood Arts.

"What the hell is happening around here?" Jade yelled throwing her bag on the table and stamping her foot on the seat. Between her furious eyes, and her tightly clenched fist, the whole lunch table shut up. She waited a few seconds and with no response she slammed her hand down. "Don't try to act stupid, people have been staring and _whispering_ at me the whole day. _Don't_. Deny. It." She turned to Robbie when he opened his mouth. He shut it abruptly. She looked around the table, glaring at each of them in turn and watching as they squirmed and avoided her gaze. She got fed up. "TELL ME!" she yelled, grabbing the André by his collar.

He almost squeaked as he dropped his phone on the table.

"Babe, babe calm down!" exclaimed Beck who'd finally reached Asphalt café, but it was too late, Jade had already snatched the phone scrolling through his recent messages, clicking on the link that had been sent to him, that had been sent to everyone in Hollywood Arts through a mass text. A link to an article recently published.

Her hand shook as she read the headline:

**Judge George J. West Found to Be In Possession of Controlled Drugs**

The article that followed went on about how they'd found the drugs in his house, his arrestment as well as the date of his court hearing. It then went on about how shameful it was for a judge to be violating such laws, especially such a well known reputable one that he was.

She skimmed through most of it, skipping minor details, and when she reached the end she calmly placed the phone back on the table, straightened up, took her bag and walked away, her shoulder brushing past Beck's as she did so.

He turned to spare an exasperated look at André before following her back into the building.

"Jade?" he stopped her in a empty corridor.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" she seethed. His eyebrows went up in shock. Sure Jade got mad a lot, but never at her father. Now though she was so mad that her fingers shook. He took them in his. "Does he know what this means for me? For my brother? He's even getting a court hearing!" Her eyes widened suddenly in realization. "If he's arrested… where's the money going to come from?" she turned to Beck. "My mother doesn't work. My brother's still in 2nd grade! This school isn't free either. The house. Electricity bills, water bills, taxes." She was breaking down.

"Jade," he started. She'd started pacing at this point.

"Beck, what am I going to do? I can't just camp at your place forever. University needs money too, I'll have to get a job or something. My mother will too, but can she even lower her own pride to actually find one? No, she'll have to. She _has_ to. Oh my God what's _wrong_ with him? Why is he doing this to everyone?"

"Jade," this time he placed a hand on her cheek, and she looked up finally. "We'll figure something out."

"There's no time! The hearing is next week! Everything the West family owns is listed under his name! We'll lose everything!" she hissed.

"Then your mother can do something about it! Get him a lawyer or something, you've got to have insurance or some shit." Beck countered.

"And how long will that last huh Beck? Did you read that article? If they find proof that those drugs are his he could be in jail for more than 20 years! That's how much friggin cocaine he had!" She snapped back.

"Jade you-"

"Wait, wait, wait… Beck!" she interrupted suddenly, like an idea had hit her.

"What?" he asked watching as she processed her thoughts.

"They need proof that this drug was his…"

"Yeah I got that," he nodded wondering where she was going with this. She hesitated.

"What if they weren't his?"

"What do you mean?" He asked his eyes narrowing, she couldn't possibly be implying that…

"I mean…" she took a deep breath gathering the courage to say what would no doubt piss her boyfriend to hell, "What if I told the court that those drugs were mine?"

**A/N: review cuz it's a cliffhanger? Review cuz I'm begging? **

**Btw I have no idea what drug laws are in Hollywood and my internet is pissing me off way too much for me to really bother researching them… so forgive if anything I wrote was wrong:) **

**Sorry this chapter's a little short… will try to make it longer the next one so please review**

**ALSO PLEASE READ THIS: One of my reviewers thought I was American which I get seeing as Victorious is an American show. However I am not American. Just thought you should know:) neither am I from anywhere in Europe, or Canada. **

**And shoutout to EquinoxKnight01 again because even though I haven't updated in months he then went back and reviewed my previous chapters and re-read this whole story. YOU ROCK!:D please don't give up on this story:) **


	29. ANNOUNCEMENT

...hey guys...

this isn't a new chapter so for those following me, sorry for this major disappointment!

so it's been what, about a year and a half, and most of you would have already given up on this story or gotten over the whole bade thing.. i'm sure, I mean I did a little as well so..

_**but,**_

I've repeated over and over again, that I hate unfinished stories, that i'd never give up on this story and i refuse to be a hypocrite, so I come bearing, not a chapter, but a promise for more. I just re-read my entire story today(ohmygod some of it is so gross, how do you guys read my stuff _how_... i'll have to re-write it someday, only the later chapters start becoming presentable...),

and so, for the first time in maybe a year, and I've started writing the next chapter up again.

tbh i only have about 500 words so far, but I started like an hour ish ago, and I don't really know where I'm going with it yet...

I don't know whether anyones still interested, so for the sake of the possible few readers still out there and also for my own sake, I'm finishing this thing.

Not really an excuse but: my computer was stolen, and with it the next pre-written chapter as well as the back bones for the next few, and I was seriously just like I GIVE UP. I lost all my other small little bade works in progress as well one of which already had like 4-5 chapters all of which I really liked:( i guess i just lost my a lot of my love for the victorious fandom in a way.

anyways for all those who have continued to review anyways know that what you said have truly inspired me to continue:) no seriously, i can't even express my gratitude for you guys, you're the reason I'm typing this up.

I promise i'll make it through the end, and i'm _endlessly_, **ENDLESSLY**, sorry for the late-ness of it all, I am. Really.

**I WILL FINISH THIS.**

**I AM DETERMINED.**

even if there's still one person willing to read my story i'll write for that one person:)

i don't know how long it'll take me, but i'll try my best with the rest of the shiz going on in my life:D

thank you for reading this, especially if you kinda hate me for making you wait.

kimmy xx.


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